Archive for May, 2009
Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 25, 2009
This is your Captain speaking………………..
Don’t you guys just love how women like to “plan” YOUR time off. Even if they don’t have any real plans, they still don’t want you doing what you want. I mean, God forbid that you actually want to sleep in one fucking day. Memorial day is yet another day that our little American princesses want to stomp their little feet and get their way. They want you to do some bullshit project that benefits them and costs you money.
But fuck that! That is not what this day is about, this day is about the fallen soldiers who have paid the ultimate price for their country. This the day where we stop to recognize them and enjoy the freedom that they have paid for with their lives. It is not a day we should have to listen to some loud, overweight, overbearing bitch talk about what she wants to do.
Shit, don’t get me started on all the passive aggressive bullshit that women do, that will be covered in an upcoming post. So for now, I am asking you to join me as I lift up my beer in honor of our fallen heroes and the ones who are still out there fighting as you are reading this.
You are now free to move about my ballsack.
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Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 16, 2009
This is your Captain speaking…..
Why do women like to chop off their hair then complain about their guy’s lack of interest?
I saw where porn star Stormy Daniels might run for political office and it occurred to me that you rarely see a porn star with short hair. I’m talking real porn stars, not the bitches that Bang Bros pay $200 to fuck in front of a camcorder.
But its just like weight. Everyone knows that fat chicks are unattractive but yet most American women just pack on the pounds year after year and then they just cant seem to figure out why their man if fucking the neighbor chick who actually works out.
Once a woman locks the guy in with marriage or a kid, she porks up, chops off the hair and becomes a nun in the bedroom. Yet another reason to NEVER get married.
You are now free to move about the cabin.
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Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 15, 2009
is a toilet.
Ok, ok, is a woman. Let’s run with that for a minute since women love to take credit for everything. Even when a guy is single, they say “he had his mother”. Ok, I’ll say that every Fortune 500 ceo has a woman behind him………..so does every one of the over 2,000,000 prison inmates. Good job ladies.
Two million inmates, all with a woman behind them. That tells me that the 500 ceo’s were lucky. Obviously having a woman in your corner is not a lucky rabbits foot. Chances are you’ll become an inmate before you nail down a CEO position.
Of course, women’s groups leave that statistic out, how convenient. Being a mother is a biological function that requires no intelligence what so ever. In fact the woman does not even have to be awake to conceive a child. All the bitch has to do is lay there, which is what most married women do….just lay there until the guy gets tired of it, then she takes half his assets.
So much for being equal.
Fucking worthless cunts.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: ass, babies, baby, balls, baptist, bible, birth, boob, boobs, boys, breasts, bullshit, catholic, chick, church, cock, cum, cunt, dead, death, dick, die, died, duh, found, found dead, fuck, girls, ho, jackson, kittens, kurt, love, lust, Marriage, marry, men, michael jackson, money, mother, Obama, porn, porno, pussy, religion, shit, single, slut, the, tit, tits, titties, wad, war | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 6, 2009
This is your Captain speaking……
Where in the blue hell do women get this idea that they have to act like our mommies?
Funny how when I lived alone the garbage got taken out, laundry got done, and somehow I survived, all without the constant nagging of a woman.
Do women really dilute themselves into thinking that they are somehow a driving force? Please don’t tell me that most women buy into that crap about there being a woman behind every successful man. Having a woman behind you is more like a handicap.
As soon as a guy marries a woman she instantly wants to take credit for everything the guy has done since the day before he was born.
Sounds like they’re just trying to make up for the fact that the only thing a woman really has is her looks, and once their gone, so is their man.
Over and out………….
Posted in Marriage, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: art, ass, boob, boobs, breast, breasts, cats, cheat, cheaters, cheating, cock, college, crime, cum, cunt, dead, dick, die, died, found, found dead, gals, guys, home, jackson, job, kittens, kurt, life, love, lust, Marriage, marry, michael jackson, Obama, pecker, prostitute, sex, sexual, slut, success, tits, whore, women, wood, work | 4 Comments »
Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 5, 2009
Why, oh why did I ever give up the freedom of living alone?
On top of that marriage will shrink your social circle quicker than 50 degree water will shrink your nutsack. And God forbid you want to have friends of your own. Mutual friends are worthless because they amount to nothing more than eyes and ears for the wife when she’s not around.
But what do I miss the most about living alone? Sex with different women? Doing whatever I want, whenever I want?
No, what I miss most is the silence. I miss not being criticized and nit-picked to death at every turn. If women are such great multi-taskers, then why the hell can’t they just learn how to sit down and shut the fuck up.
Till next time, this is your Captain speaking.
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