Captain No-Marriage Blog

Why, oh why did I ever give up the freedom of living alone?

On top of that marriage will shrink your social circle quicker than 50 degree water will shrink your nutsack. And God forbid you want to have friends of your own. Mutual friends are worthless because they amount to nothing more than eyes and ears for the wife when she’s not around.

But what do I miss the most about living alone? Sex with different women? Doing whatever I want, whenever I want?

No, what I miss most is the silence. I miss not being criticized and nit-picked to death at every turn. If women are such great multi-taskers, then why the hell can’t they just learn how to sit down and shut the fuck up.

Till next time, this is your Captain speaking.