This is your Captain speaking and once again……………….Welcome Aboard Fuckers!!!

This one goes out to all the guys who are married, living with, or have a steady girlfriend.  I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “Don’t let life pass you by”, but that’s exactly what we’re doing gentlemen.  Getting married is letting life pass you by at the speed of light.  Let’s start with the obvious stuff that passes by….

Can you even count the number of cute waitresses that have passed you by?

And let’s not forget the cute cashier…..

But of course we all realize the mistake we’ve made in choosing just one woman and all the opportunities that pass us by everyday.  But there’s others, like what if you feel like stopping by a few gun shops, or just drive to the beach without having to pack half the garage with you, or stop by a friends house for a few beers, or just being able to spend your days the way that YOU want to spend them.  Now that is where life is passing us by.

Being married is like living with your parents when you were 13, you know that if you stay out too late, you’re in trouble, and don’t forget to check in.

Nag, nag, fucking nag, that’s what we listen too while our lives are passing us by.  It’s time for this to stop gentlemen.  I know it’s not always as easy as throwing your shit in your car, we can thank our legal system for that.  But make a plan, put away a few bucks here and there, being active and actually doing something to plot out your escape will be liberating just by itself.

Life is out there waiting for us, haven’t we let enough of it pass by?

You are now free to drink about my ballsack.