Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for August, 2009

So What are You Missing Out On?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 22, 2009

This is your Captain speaking and once again……………….Welcome Aboard Fuckers!!!

This one goes out to all the guys who are married, living with, or have a steady girlfriend.  I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “Don’t let life pass you by”, but that’s exactly what we’re doing gentlemen.  Getting married is letting life pass you by at the speed of light.  Let’s start with the obvious stuff that passes by….

Can you even count the number of cute waitresses that have passed you by?

hot waitress

And let’s not forget the cute cashier…..


But of course we all realize the mistake we’ve made in choosing just one woman and all the opportunities that pass us by everyday.  But there’s others, like what if you feel like stopping by a few gun shops, or just drive to the beach without having to pack half the garage with you, or stop by a friends house for a few beers, or just being able to spend your days the way that YOU want to spend them.  Now that is where life is passing us by.

Being married is like living with your parents when you were 13, you know that if you stay out too late, you’re in trouble, and don’t forget to check in.

nag, nag, nag

Nag, nag, fucking nag, that’s what we listen too while our lives are passing us by.  It’s time for this to stop gentlemen.  I know it’s not always as easy as throwing your shit in your car, we can thank our legal system for that.  But make a plan, put away a few bucks here and there, being active and actually doing something to plot out your escape will be liberating just by itself.

Life is out there waiting for us, haven’t we let enough of it pass by?

You are now free to drink about my ballsack.

Posted in Marriage, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Why bother moving out of your parent’s place?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 15, 2009

This is your Captain speaking,

My question is not to suggest that people never move out. It is in reference to the fact that when a man gets married, he ends up right back in the same situation he was in when he was 16.

The place really isn’t his, he damn sure can’t set up the house like he wants, the bitch decorates. He has to ask permission for his friends to come over to watch the fight and God forbid that he wants to go over to that friend’s house that she doesn’t like. Yep, like 16 all over again, feeling trapped and looking forward to moving the fuck out.

Who do women act like a man’s mother? Who the fuck is telling them that this a good idea? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, one mother is enough!! Women, especially American women are just a bunch of mentally unbalanced, controlling bitches and men need to learn that women really are good for one thing, sex. Fuck em’ and chuck em’.

Men need to lose this scarcity mindset and realize than there’s a constant stream of new pieces of ass turning 18 every fucking day!!!


Don’t give in to these war pigs that you have to drink 4 quarts of malt liquor just to be able to look at her mismatched, discolored, sagging tits.



Let’s step it up and let’s step out and make one final move out into our own place again! And once you have your freedom gentlemen, NEVER give it up again. If a chick wants to move in then it’s time for you to move on.   Kick her ever-expanding ass to the fucking curb!

You’re now free to grab your shit and go!

Posted in Marriage, pua, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

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