Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

So What are You Missing Out On?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 22, 2009


This is your Captain speaking and once again……………….Welcome Aboard Fuckers!!!

This one goes out to all the guys who are married, living with, or have a steady girlfriend.  I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “Don’t let life pass you by”, but that’s exactly what we’re doing gentlemen.  Getting married is letting life pass you by at the speed of light.  Let’s start with the obvious stuff that passes by….

Can you even count the number of cute waitresses that have passed you by?

hot waitress

And let’s not forget the cute cashier…..

flo

But of course we all realize the mistake we’ve made in choosing just one woman and all the opportunities that pass us by everyday.  But there’s others, like what if you feel like stopping by a few gun shops, or just drive to the beach without having to pack half the garage with you, or stop by a friends house for a few beers, or just being able to spend your days the way that YOU want to spend them.  Now that is where life is passing us by.

Being married is like living with your parents when you were 13, you know that if you stay out too late, you’re in trouble, and don’t forget to check in.

nag, nag, nag

Nag, nag, fucking nag, that’s what we listen too while our lives are passing us by.  It’s time for this to stop gentlemen.  I know it’s not always as easy as throwing your shit in your car, we can thank our legal system for that.  But make a plan, put away a few bucks here and there, being active and actually doing something to plot out your escape will be liberating just by itself.

Life is out there waiting for us, haven’t we let enough of it pass by?

You are now free to drink about my ballsack.

2 Responses to “So What are You Missing Out On?”

  1. Aran said

    Iv been plotting my escape for atleast a year now. The thought of finally getting away is about the only thing keeping me from taking a swan dive off the bridge.

    • I understand, I’ve been there. All I can say is keep plotting! Try to stash away as much cash as you can. The day I officially moved out, I already had my new place furnished, utilities turned on and beer in the fridge. Best of luck brother.

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