Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for December, 2009

Married Men Don’t Get Time Off For the Holidays

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 29, 2009

This is your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers.

The title of this entry applies not just to married men, but to anyone living with a woman.   So single guys listen up and if you don’t believe what I’m about to tell you, then just pull one of your married buds aside and run it by him.

We’re wrapping up the Holidays this week, and going back to Thanksgiving where I am fortunate enough to work for a company that still gives a 4-day weekend for Thanksgiving.  That’s like a mini-vacation……..if you’re single.  Those of you who have been or are married know what I’m talking about.  You’re lucky if you can get a glimpse of the game on Thanksgiving.

Then on to Christmas and New Year’s which this year falls on a Friday which makes for back to back three day weekends!!!!   That’s fucking awesome………..that is…………if you’re single.

When you’re married your time is not your own, between the douche bag family members you barely recognize and don’t really fucking like, all the running around, decorations, or whatever stupid-ass fucktard shit women like to do…………you’re lucky to get a few hours on Sunday evening to yourself.

I know sometimes when you’re single you look at married people, especially this time of year, and you somehow feel that you are missing out on something.  That we have something that’s really special and you don’t.

Well………you’re FUCKING wrong.  It is us married guys who are missing out.  It is us who truly envy you  and would gladly trade places.

It is us married men, who need to lay down the plans of our escape and be free to go our own way.

You’re now free to move about your 3-Day weekend……

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Simple Things that lead to Big Arguments in Marriage…….

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 20, 2009

This is your Captain speaking……………welcome aboard fuckers.

I’m going to be highlighting some simple, commonplace things that can start WWIII when you are married.  Today’s item of dispute is the hamburger.  Yes, a fucking hamburger.

Listen up single guys………..when you’re married, sometimes all the talk of women blabbing on about how independent they are and how they don’t need a man, blah, blah, blah……………

Sometimes  you actually expect your wife to act like an adult.  So you’re out and and about, you’re hungry so you stop at the nearest burger joint and pick up yourself something to eat.  No problem right?  After all even if the little (or not so little) lady was hungry, she’s has a car, she has money, and she’s in a house filled with food.

Hell no, instead you have to listen to what an asshole you are for not “thinking” of her.  Ms Independent is too fucking helpless to look after herself.  Even if you decided to buy her something to eat too, you’d be an asshole because she’s trying to eat healthy.  (yeah right!)

When you live alone, where and what you do for dinner is always perfect.  In fact everything you do is perfect!  All your jokes are funny, you’re witty, the list goes on.

American women just have this sense of entitlement that stinks to high Heaven!!!

Living alone is the best way to go!  Then you can live with the one person who likes everything the exact same way you do……..that person is YOU!

Until next time fuckers.

You’re now free to bang about the  cabin.

Posted in Marriage, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Thugtician’s view on the Tiger Woods situation.

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 15, 2009

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers.

Once again, MRA Thugtician (Thugt1cian on YouTube) brings his unique view to the masses, this time regarding the ongoing Tiger Woods story.  I’ll be weighing in soon, but for now here’s his view from across the pond.

You’re now free to move about YouTube.

Posted in Marriage, money, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Tale of Two Evaluations

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 13, 2009

This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers.

I’ve had something that’s been bugging the shit out of me for a couple days.  Sometimes on my job I am privy to information that just plain pisses me off!

Take two employees in the same section, one male, one female and they have the same job function.  The male missed 10 days during the year due to an accident that was not his fault.  The female was out for more than three months for a pregnancy.  This particular female was also out for the same amount of time last year for the same reason.

The male employee documented work product is well above the prescribed standards, yet because he was out for more than the “allotted” amount of sick time, his supervisor was forced to give him a review of simply “meets expectations”.  The gentleman understands that there are rules and does not have a problem with his lowered evaluation, as he put it “those are the breaks”.

What he does have a problem with is that the female employee was NOT held accountable for her time away even though her situation was a result of her own actions.  Keep in mind that this gentleman and others in her area had to take on extra work as a result of her being gone for those three months. However because of the Family Leave Act, the supervisor was not allowed to take her lack of attendance into consideration.  If he did, he would open himself and the company up to legal action.  Her documented work product barely meets the standards and she also got an evaluation of “meets expectations”.

God Bless America!  Because we’re fucked and we need some kind of divine intervention to clean up this clusterfuck.

So lets review, a woman can do just enough to get by, take a quarter of the year off and still get just as good of an evaluation as the person who had to pick up her slack when she was out of the office……….nice………really fucking nice.

Typical American entitlement whore, she craps out kids at her discretion (or lack of), and the rest of us have to pitch in!  Yes, to sweeten the pot this bitch also gets government assistance, isn’t that fucking nice.  Maybe if she rode the time clock like she rode a dick, she wouldn’t need government assistance.

But hell, what does she care, she’s not paying for it.  She doesn’t even have to show up for work!  Now she can schedule doctor appointments during the day for her little drape apes to give her yet another reason to skate out on the job.  UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!

Thanks for listening fuckers.

You are now free to punch a baby.

Posted in money, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Hey bitch, I want an abortion………from you!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 8, 2009

This is your Captain speaking……………….welcome aboard fuckers.

Isn’t it convenient how women like to brag about how they don’t need a man, especially when it comes to the raising of a child (although they sure do need the man’s money). We often hear about a woman’s right to choose.  A woman can get an abortion without consulting the father, even if she is married to the father.  Parental fraud is perfectly in this country and if a woman sabotages the condoms or “forgets” to take her pill or switch her patch, or just plain lies……….it’s all perfectly legal and considered to be a woman’s “right”.  Now I am not anti-abortion, I am very pro-abortion!  Hell, I say find a random pregnant chick and talk her into one!

So since Miss Independent can choose to get pregnant and keep or (not keep the baby) against a man’s wishes, then the man should have the option to an abortion of his own.  He should be able to “abort” all rights and obligations to the child and the bitch that is trying to get her paws into his wallet.

Some would say that this unfairly shifts responsibility to the woman, but yet women have no problem with this responsibility during a divorce and she can use the children to hurt the man both emotionally and financially.  Women fight for custody so that she can hold control of the children over the man.  So I say give her this responsibility right off the start…… conception.  After all, they choose who gets them pregnant, the reason you hear about so many deadbeat dads is because women keep spreading their legs for deadbeats.

If the woman knew that she couldn’t trap a man or his wallet then I bet there would be less “forgetting” to take the birth control pills. I also would bet that there would be a lot less allergies to latex and suddenly women would magically make use of the 11 forms of birth control that’s available to them.

Take the financial incentive out of these bitches cranking out kids, it’d probably even help the crime rate since most of the gang-bangers and car-jackers are products of single mothers.  Its a win-win situation.

At the very least, there should not be a limitation on the time allowed to take a paternity test, in many states a husband is responsible for whatever flies out of his wife’s hole.  A man could come home to find her riding the pool boy and then she poops out the kid from the pool boy and divorce the husband.  Then to top it off she can divorce the hubby, move in with the pool boy and the now ex-husband would have to pay her child support for 18 years for a kid that isn’t his and the courts don’t give a damn.  Hell, if they were married long enough, he’d also have to pay the bitch alimony too.  How’s that for justice?

Give the men the same choice that the women have, after all ladies…….don’t you want to be equal?

You’re now free to play pocket pool about the cabin.

Posted in Marriage, money, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

I’m Soooo Fabulous, now promote me!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 1, 2009

This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers.

The title of this story sums up the attitude of my female classmates.   As I am working and going to school full time to get my MBA, I often hear the cackle of my fellow female students and I am often sickened and amused at the same time.

I heard one heavyweight talk about how she has no interest in getting to work early or staying late but yet…………..she thinks that when she graduates that her employer should just automatically give her a raise.  Yeah, just out of the goodness of their fucking hearts I guess.  What in the blue fuck are these spoiled American dumpster cunts smoking?  Ever thought of trying to add value to the company you stupid mullet?  No of course not, that’d mean work and we all know women hate that.

And don’t make the mistake of suggesting that they take a higher position with more responsibility, of fuck no.  That’s like telling a Catholic priest to fuck a woman instead of a 10yr old boy.  That shit just does not go over well.  These entitled cum urinals want to keep the same job they have now, but just get paid more.

This is why despite most college grads being women, it’s still men at the top.  These overweight bitches don’t have a clue.  Don’t even get me started on how they think they’re so “smart” and how that should turn men on.  Sorry warpigs, I’d rather jack off to old Asia Carrera  flicks than to have to listen to you turkey-necked battle cunts.

But with this being my competition, its a pretty clear fucking path to the top.

You’re now free to watch classic porn about the cabin.

Posted in sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

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