Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for February, 2010

Why So Pissed at Tiger?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 25, 2010

This is your Captain Speaking……………..welcome aboard fuckers.

Yes, I know.  Tiger Woods is the story that never dies, but why has it stirred so much emotion?  It’s pretty simple, it shows what men and women really want.

Tiger just wants to fuck and if most guys had his means that’s what they would do.  His actions reminds women what their men would do if they got that promotion, finished graduate school, or got a better job.  It reminds them that their guy would dump their worthless nagging asses in a heartbeat!

The actions of Tiger’s wife show guys what women are really after…………money.  Plain and simple, when the initial lust of the relationship wears off, its all about money.  All the talk about independent women is just a bunch of bullshit.  They’re only independent if they’re getting money from a man.

Tiger’s real mistake was getting married and having kids.  All that did was secure the transfer of assets from him to his aging trophy wife.

There is absolutely no benefit to a man to get married.

You are now free to bang the sky cunts about the cabin.

Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Thank you John

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 24, 2010

This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers.

This will be off topic, but it’s important to me.  A friend of mine was buried yesterday.  He was killed by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan.  He was only 24.   He died a hero, but he left us way too soon.  Thank you John.  If there is a Heaven, and if I can somehow sneak in, I look forward to seeing you on the other side my friend.  You are not forgotten.

Thank you for your sacrifice so that the rest of us can live free.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Right Here, Right Now…….

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 21, 2010

This is your Captain speaking……………..welcome aboard fuckers.

Here’s a little diddy about my latest interaction with the common American worthless fucking cunt female.  It involves a bitch I went to graduate school with who sent me an email.  Keep in mind that the email address we’re talking about is one that I use whenever I sign up for a newsletter, or when I buy something and you have to enter an email.  So its pretty much full of junk and I don’t check it often.

So this entitlement whore sends me a message the other morning………….I of course didn’t answer because I didn’t log on to that account.  So the cunt FaceBook stalks me and sends me another email that evening…………..That’s right kids, the fucking cum dumpster entitlement skank couldn’t even wait 24 motherfucking hours for a response.

Read the following in your best bitch whinny voice:

“You didn’t respond to me.  I know you were online, I saw your post on FaceBook.  I know you always check your email……….blah, blah, bitch, bitch, blah”

When I read her bipolar emails a couple days later I sent the following response.

“I didn’t realize you knew my every move.  You should use your psychic abilities to play the stock market.  However I hope you like cats because with a vile attitude like yours that is who you will be spending your golden years with.  Good day madam.”

She responded, but I deleted without even reading it.  Her actions are typical of the mental illness that plagues most American women.  Everything is about them.

Yet they love to tell you how smart they are, their problems are always someone else’s fault.  Fucking old cat hags.  I should go shit in her mailbox.

You’re now free to shit in some cunt-whore’s mailbox.

Posted in women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Hey Old Fucker!!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 14, 2010

This is your Captain speaking……………welcome aboard fuckers!!

Does any of this female psycho-babble sound familiar?

You’re just bitter!

Someone must have really hurt you.

You just hate women!

Not all women are like that……I’m not.

You just haven’t met the right woman yet.

Of course when that doesn’t work then they try this…………..

Don’t you want to grow old with someone?  (what they forget is to add is that someone will be bugging and nagging the living hell out of you until one of you dies!!!!)

I feel sad for you.

You’ll never know true love with that attitude.

Older guys didn’t just pull their attitudes out of a fucking straw hat.  They came from years of life experiences.  We need to listen to our elders, I know that’s crazy-talk nowadays, but trust me.  These guys aren’t saying to stay away from marriage because “they can’t get laid”.  They’re saying it because its true.

The “See the matrix” analogy is probably grossly overused, but in this case it fits perfectly.  As we mature we start noticing patterns of behavior.  We notice that these patterns seem to match what some of these “old farts” have been trying to warn us about for years.  Pretty much every guy knows of another guy who has been raked over the coals by the court system.

Then through the power of hindsight, you start looking back at all your relationships and you can usually pinpoint the moment the first red flag went up.  But you stayed.

You’re now free to walk 10 miles uphill in the snow.

Posted in sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Generation Wussy

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 2, 2010

This is your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers.

What a difference 10 or 15 years can make.  They used to call the 80s kids the “Me Generation”, but the current crop of 20 somethings make anyone who came up in the 80s look like a saint!!  This isn’t just your normal bitching about the crazy young kids, these people are fucked up.

The first thing that amazes the pig shit out of me is how someone can be in their mid-20s and have NEVER lived alone!  I’m not just talking about women, men too.  They trade in one mommy or daddy for another.  They jump into relationships because they need a roommate and are actually afraid of living alone.  I mean fuck, if you can’t stand to live alone with yourself, how the hell can you expect someone else to?

I remember sitting around with my friends talking about all the cool stuff we could do once we had our own place.  It was a stated goal to move out ASAP!!!

But, the idea of getting a studio apartment is like some kind of insult, they want to move into a house like mom and dad, forgetting the fact that mom and dad have been working all these years to get that house!  Not to mention the fact that they also need a new car, some even continuously trade in cars and are terminally upside down for life.

I know couples with no kids and bitch about money…..why?  Well as I mentioned before, the need for a new car, plus not a one-bedroom apartment, oh no that would practical, it has to be a two-bedroom costing several hundred dollars a month more.  Don’t dare, after listening to the constant whining, suggest they downsize.  Sacrifice is NOT in their vocabulary.   Forget the fact that the extra money could be used for…….oh I don’t know, a degree or some kind of skill that could possibly advance your career?  That way you can have a caviar budget to match your entitled caviar tastes.

But no, they have a beat up Ford Pinto budget and caviar tastes and are pissed off about it.

Now on one hand, I’m really happy about all of this.  Think about it, these people are the “competition” for a job.  Unfortunately if we keep cranking out entitled brats the jobs will continue to flow overseas.  Luckily I speak another language.

Until next time fuckers.

You’re now free to pass Boardwalk and collect $200.

Posted in money, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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