Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for June, 2010

Half-Assed Happy Father’s Day

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 20, 2010

This……….is your Captain speaking.    Welcome aboard fuckers!

I’m guessing I’m not the only one who has logged on to their FaceBook account today to see all the Father’s Day comments only to notice the striking difference between the comments for Father’s Day and the type of comments for Mother’s Day.

Today I saw a lot of “disclaimers” on the comments like saying that this only applies to “real men” and so on.  I saw no mention of “real women” on Mother’s Day.  I also saw a lot of bitching by women about deadbeat dads.

Ladies, the only reason we have deadbeat dads is because you continue to have babies with deadbeats.  You also have to understand that if you try to make a guy stay with you by getting pregnant, chances are he’ll haul ass.

Or if a condom breaks, that’s not “God’s” way of telling you to have a kid, that’s a fucking defect in the condom!!  If you decide on your own to bring that baby into the world against the guys wishes then don’t bitch when he’s not out there throwing baseballs back and forth with little waterhead.   And let’s be honest, you should know ahead of time what kind of guy you’re fucking.  Usually if you question a woman enough, she soon admits that the guy was a loser when she met him but she thought her magic vagina would change him.

I saw numerous comments about guys getting women pregnant and leaving, well ladies you have around a dozen forms of birth control and on top of that you have morning after pills and abortion.   You can accidentally get pregnant, but there’s no such thing as an accidental birth.

If a guy were to give women the same types of slick comments on Mother’s Day, he’d be publicly skewed!!  As Marc Rudov says, we have an 11th commandment in this country, “Thou Shall not Criticize a Woman”

You’re now free to smoke in the bathrooms.

Posted in Marriage, money, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments »

Even Famous Pussy Has a Biological Clock That Rings Louder than Big Ben!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 12, 2010

This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers!!

Have you seen this article?  I’ll wait a minute while you read… Jessica Biel, who appears in the latest A Team movie is “desperate” for a baby from Justin Timberlake.  Hmmmm……I wonder why, oh wait I see why, she 28!!!! That’s like 45 in Hollywood years!  My advice to JT, GET THE FUCK OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!

She’s been banging around having a good time and now she wants that guaranteed 18 year annuity known as a baby.  I know what you’re saying, she has her own money, right?  At the moment, yes.  But haven’t you noticed how in Hollywood that the same group of leading men are getting older, but that they make sure that the female actresses that play opposite of them stay the same age.  You don’t see Brad Pitt playing opposite Sharon Stone, hell no, they get the newest, hottest piece of ass they can find.

At 28 Biel is no longer the hottest or youngest.  So she needs to lock in some mega child support that you can only get from a famous actor/musician/athlete.

But gentlemen this happens at all levels, not just Hollywood, it’s happening on your street, maybe it’s happened to you.  You’re dating some broad and things are going well until………………………….she hits you with the “I’m not getting any younger” speech.  Suddenly just having a good relationship is no longer enough for her.  Of course these are the same chicks on and Plenty of Fish who have headlines like “I’ve had my fun” or “Not into playing games”.

What this means is that she’s banged every Tom, Dick, and Harry Balls in the city and now that she has 150,000 miles on the odometer she wants to settle down and have YOU pay for her.  Sometimes one or four of the bad boys that she used to bang has left her with a little present in the form of a child.  Of course bad boy doesn’t pay any child support so she needs someone to “step up” or whatever other line of bullshit they try to pass off as honorable.  The bottom line is that as  a guy you want NO part of this mess.

As soon as a chick even hints of a baby you need to stop having sex with her immediately!!!!  Don’t make a 18yr gamble that the condom won’t slip or break.  Don’t hope that she won’t accidentally forget to take her pill or that she won’t poke a hole in your condoms.  Just like Justin Timberlake could replace Biel with an equally hot or hotter piece of ass, that’s what you need to do the moment she says she wants a child.  I don’t give a fuck if your Justin Timberlake or Joe 6 Pack, you need to run!  Run hard, run silent, run deep, just fucking run!!!

You’re now free to shove peanuts up some sky cunt’s ass.

Posted in money, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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