Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Have You Heard???

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 9, 2010

This is your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Gentlemen what have you heard from your friends lately?  My friends and I have been talking about the start of the NFL season, the 80s style shoot em up movie “The Expendables”, and other important stuff like beer and other fine spirits.

anheuser busch beer

Notice how when something kicks ass, everybody talks about it?  Whether it’s new brew your buddy just discovered, the latest cool gadget, or that finely put together porn movie, it doesn’t matter; if it’s cool you’re going to hear about it!!

So what do you hear about marriage?????


That’s right, you hear that it fucking sucks ass!!  Have at any point in your life has one of your friends called you up or come to your house screaming about how awesome marriage is?  Know any guys jumping up and down like Tom Cruise on Oprah’s couch yelling about how much marriage rocks?  Do your married buddies talk about how the sex just gets better every time or how she can’t stop swallowing his load or that his wife is in the best shape of her life after they said “I do”.

No, you don’t do you?  In fact you hear the opposite.  They complain about the lack of sex, or that they have to buy it in the form of shopping or dinners.  You hear stories about how she completely let herself go as soon as she had him locked in.  They describe their wife as battle-ax, the warden, ball-n-chain, buzzkill, and as one of my friends called his wife…..the virgin Mary.


Does marriage sound like a good idea fellas?  Are you one of those guys who thinks that they are different?  That your girl is different, that you and you alone picked the right one?  If that’s the case then you need to play lotto, for one your odds are a lot better.

Marriage is shit guys, trust me.  If it kicked ass then those of us who fucked up and made that mistake would be telling you how shit-balls awesome it was.  But we’re not!!!!  Because it’s a bad decision for men, period.

You’re now free to grab a beer and hit the emergency exit.



One Response to “Have You Heard???”

  1. Walter said

    I agree 100%. Your commentary is very clear. I personally know no man better off married except honeymooners. That does change as usual. Make a vow as a real man never ever marry an AW.
    Just got back from shopping at Target. Everytime I go shopping it’s the same crap. I can’t even go shopping anymore, it too has turned to crap. Whenever I go shopping I see the same thing. Almost always a couple whether married or friends it’s the same, the “man” pushing the cart around while the dumb cunt takes her time picking what she wants while pussyman stands there waiting like the pussy that he is. First of all why in the he’ll is the man doing there shopping anyway when she can do it? She should be grocery shopping not him but I guess your suppossed to help out with that to now? This is ridiculous. Do AW do anything except eat, spend and shit? AW are such absolute shit. It incidences like this that remind to never get married!! Every man in there with a woman was pushing the cart. I can’t believe men these days. Everytime I see this I think what would happen if Russian and Chinese invaded the US and these were the men needed to defend us. Men who go grocery shopping with their wives and pushing the cart? Everything being equal we would get slaughtered. I have to say I wouldn’t give a shit either.

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