Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Red Flags All Over My Screen

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 31, 2010

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers.

Look what we have here.  princess tard Another fine contestant from the wonderful world of online dating.  A perfect example of what’s wrong with American women.  She looks good on the outside, but let’s look at her profile.  Starting with her headline.

“Big time fist bump to Match for allowing me a break from the bar scene.”

Nice huh.  By the way, she’s 31 and we all know that maintenance costs for a chick like this are worse than for an exotic sports car.  But perhaps I’m being too harsh let’s see her opening paragraph.

“So the word is out. I’m single and looking (but there seems to be a serious drought of decent men in Boston’s bar scene, and if I have to fend off another douchie guy out there, I might claw my eyes out). So, in the interest of saving my eyes (and my sanity), I am nervously turning to online dating in hopes of finding a nice, quality guy.”

Fuck, where do I begin with that?  I could get several posts just from that steaming pile she just laid.  Darling I realize that Boston is a really small town………….you stupid cum basket are you serious?  You can’t find a guy in a city the size of Boston?

Ladies if you can’t find a “decent” guy it’s because they’re avoiding you!  Conversely gentlemen if you hear a woman complain about the lack of good men around that’s your official notice that other intelligent men are avoiding this chick and you should do the same! 

But Princess Entitlement doesn’t stop there.  She goes on with her laundry list for Mr. Right.

“Someone who is genuine, honest, kind, great sense of humor (definitely an emphasis on this one), clever, active, interested in current events and can hold a conversation, enjoys trying new things and exploring new places, is confident (but not cocky), and is a gentleman whom even mom would approve of, for starters.”

Soooooooooooo……………………………..she want’s to date Jesus. 

“I guess this is my opportunity to go on and on about how amazing I am, but I think I’ll save that for our first date (and wow the pants off of you. Though not literally. I mean, it’s our first date).”

Oh ok, that cleared it up for me.  She wants an awesome guy to take her places but doesn’t want any pussy.  Good luck with that Princess.  You might as well start collecting cats now!

You’re now free jack off on a jack-o-lantern

4 Responses to “Red Flags All Over My Screen”

  1. Walter said

    “So the word is out” Jesus fucking christ! What, she thinks she’s that important? Your not a movie star dear. Ugh yuck! Just reading that is enough for me Cpt. Your right intelligent men no better than to open this can of worms. Can you imagine the nightmare date sitting at the other end of the table listening to her bitch about all the jerks she’s been with knowing they all got laid and you ain’t? Typical as usual isn’t it? screw every jerk in the neighborhood because that’s what I like and now I’m getting older I better find some guy to pay me for the rest of my life that probably is boring or pop out a kid and take his house and half is check after making false abuse charges and have my badboy boyfriend move in who’s unemployed. No thanks.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      Yes, stop the presses! Ms Entitlement is now single! I bet the truth behind her being “tired” of the bar scene is the fact that at age 31 she can’t compete with women 10yrs younger, which what you’ll find at the bars. So now that this attention whore is not getting the same level attention for that she’s turned to online dating where she can get 50 emails from manginas everyday to boost her ego.

  2. I smile every single time that I visit your site. Your commentaries are one hundred percent spot on. This woman is 31, and cannot find a man in a city the size of Boston? You’re right – there is something seriously wrong here. High maintenance would be the easy part, I’m guessing. She should be concerned about what she is going to look like in 10 or 15 years … I wonder what the language of her online dating profile will look like then?

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      Thanks. Probably in a few years she’ll have some headline like “tired of games” and her profile will be a rant of how badly she’s been treated and just wants a good man.

      Yes to me if a woman looks decent yet she complains that she can’t find a man, that’s when I put on my running shoes and RUN FORREST RUN!!! Huge red flag!

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