Captain No-Marriage Blog

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!

Instead of me rambling on about what I have planned for the New Year, I’d like to take the time to share what my New Year hopes and wishes are for you fuckers, because I’m that kind of guy.

1. I hope that crazy bitch that drunk dials you but doesn’t put out loses your number.
2. I hope that throughout the course of 2011 that you do not meet a single crazy ass bipolar bitch. (yes I know that one is a stretch)
3. I hope someone drops off a case of whiskey at your front door and runs.
4. I hope the price of a lap dance drops. 
5. I hope the legalize prostitution…….ok it’s legal now, they call it marriage, but I mean the fun kind of prostitution where she actually leaves after sex.
6. I hope Sarah Palin gives up on politics and does porn. (that’s not a political statement, I just want to see her get DP’ed)
7. I hope that bitch you’re paying alimony to either gets remarried or falls off a cliff.
8. I hope Maury looks at you and says “You are NOT the father!”  
9. I hope some drunk chick you’ve never met gives you a blow job then disappears from your life.
10. And last but not least, I hope you get a chance to fuck a feminist up the ass and make her like it.

You are now free to have a Happy Fucking New Year!