Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Time and Time Again

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 26, 2011


This is your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers!

So how many of you have gotten the “don’t give up” speech when you’ve said that you will NEVER get married again?  Usually from a woman of course, which makes sense since most women suck at math.

Statistics vary but it’s pretty well accepted that around 2/3 of all second marriages fail and 3/4 of all third marriages fail.  Oh yes, you’re smarter this time, right?  You sure are Skippy, just like you thought the first time you got on this merry-go-round that you’d be in the 50% of first marriages that didn’t fail. 

Listen, leave the fucking gambling to the guys in the World SerLawyersies of Poker….(or is it Poke-Her?)

You need to ask yourself why you are even considering this, when you get your answer then you solve THAT particular problem instead of fucking yourself in the ass a second or third time in court.  If you love lawyers that much then take yo azz to law skool!!! 

If you are a broke fuck and chubby Diana is the only one that will fuck you then get your shit straight and stop being a loser.  If you were never a ladies man and you’re worried that it will be worse now that your older…..well read up on some game.  Not that game is the end-all be-all, but it’s a starting point if you don’t have a shit-fuck clue.  Go check out some guys like Assanova or the dozens of other blogs out there. 

If SHE is pushing you then you really need to ask why!  Is she in debt?  Is she tired of staying in shape to attract a man and she can’t wait to pork up to 563lbs, is she one of those women who claims that she’s “already had her fun” and now wants you to foot the bill?  A chick with no life plan, no retirement (except you), no career, no life savings?

If that’s the case then fuck her (don’t knock the bitch up) until she moves on to another sucker.  You just keep looking out for you because in the end that’s who has to live with your choices, YOU, numbnuts.

You’re now free smoke in the cabin and yell “BITCHES AIN’T SHIT!”

sports_beach_volleyball

 

2 Responses to “Time and Time Again”

  1. Andy said

    Hell, for years and years I’ve gotten the “don’t give up” speech whenever I’ve said that I don’t EVER want to get married. (I just turned 32 over the weekend and have never been married and don’t have kids,thank christ). And wouldn’t you know it? I’ve almost always heard it from a woman!

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      Part of it is that misery loves company. I mean damn Andy, look at you, how selfish can you be! No wife draining your bank accounts! You put money into your retirement! You do whatever the hell you want, whenever you want, however you want. You don’t have to take vacations at Disney World, how dare you not share your wealth with some woman who is just dying to spend it all!

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