Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for February, 2011

Blast From the Fucking Past

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 23, 2011


Greetings fuckers.  Believe it or not, there was a time when I only had two readers.  Now that number had doubled!  So I would like to take this chance to spotlight some older shit I wrote back in the day. 

In other words, I’m too drunk……no wait….no such thing……..I’m to lazy tonight to write a new post.  So I’m going green fuckers!

Here’s a CNM classic entitled:  “Just Say No to Women on Medication”

This is your Captain speaking……..

If a woman you are dealing with is on, or has ever been on any type of antidepressant medication, you need to run. Run Forrest, run as fast as you can. This a red flag. Now this is something that they can mask in the short term, especially since most mental bitches are great in bed, it distracts you from her mental instability.

Beware if they try to rationalize it by telling you that “all women are crazy” or some similar line. There’s a reason they’re on meds, you do not want to stick around long enough to find out why. For one, it will always be your fault, hell I even had one bitch blame me for a ticket that she got. Typical spoiled American bitch, blames everyone else for her problems except her. This is one of many examples why you should avoid bitches on meds. Last thing you want is some manic depressive bitch going between personalities like a fucking light switch. Talk about being dragged down by someone! If you have to walk on egg shells or wait and see which personality shows up to dinner, then you need to run like fucking hell away from that bitch.

Remember, their mental illness is their issue, not yours, its not your job to understand or help the dumb broad. Men need to stop accepting women’s bullshit and yes that includes so called mental illness. Unless you want a life filled with drama, avoid these backstabbing bitches like the fucking plague that they are. How are you going to get ahead and move forward with your life when you are carrying her lead weight ass around? You won’t, thats because these bitches are also insanely jealous, not just of every other woman, but of ANYTHING that takes away time from her stuck up, entitled, overweight ass.

Its about standards guys, why settle for some over dramatic bitch on meds when you can have a hotter normal chick. Its not like you need to marry any of them, but the bitches on meds aren’t even worth the sex. Take charge guys, don’t keep putting up with women’s bad behavior.

You are now free to move about my nutsack.



Posted in relationship, women | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

Happy Marc Rudov Day!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 14, 2011

What’s up fuckers, I found this over at ScareCrow’s site. An awesome vid about feminism.  Well worth the time to check out and while you’re at it check out Marc’s site.  I’ve been listening to the radio archive section where you can hear some recent interviews about NO-mance Day, or as it should be called……Marc Rudov Day!

As ScareCrow would say…”SHOW DICK SOME RESPECT!”

The Story of Feminism–as told by WOMEN from maxtll on Vimeo.

Posted in money, relationship, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »


Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 10, 2011

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Lots of divorce stories in the news this week.  I can’t help to notice a trend in some of the celebrity divorces coming about. 

Take Charlie Sheen for example, married in 2008, now has to pay $55hospital nursery,000 a month, yes a fucking MONTH!!!….for child support.  Ashlee Simpson also filed for divorce after her 3 year marriage but not before she found time to shit out a kid also.  

Now this not just a celebrity deal, I see it all the time.  Woman goes from being perfect girlfriend to never happy bitch wife and is knocked up, by accident of course within the first year of the marriage.  Then before the kid even is barely out of diapers the couple some how “grows apart”. 

A lot of times if the guy is well off, she’ll crank out two or three kids in rapid succession, be a stay at home mom and secure both a healthy alimony and child support payment from the poor sucker who married her ever expanding ass.

don't want kidsTom Leykis used to tell his listeners to wait until you’ve been married 5 years before you have kids.  That is of course if you were just determined to be married and to raise a family, children were the only reason he’d ever be ok with marriage however he would still point out that while it was good for the child it was still not good for the man.  I completely agree.

I also agree with waiting 5 years.  Just think of all the relationships that were in the shitter by year 3 or 4!!  I know lots of guys whose wives conveniently got knocked up right before they decided they wanted a divorce.  Leaving the guy stuck paying an 18 year annuity, tax free for her!!

Gentlemen, your sperm are like blank checks or a debit card with the pin written on the back.  Actually worse because if a thief steals your debit card he can only get what’s in there today.  If a woman gets a hold of your sperm she gets her claws into what you have for the next two decades!!!!

You’re now free to blow a load in her eye.


nice beach ass


Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

I Want More Money Because I Have A Gaping Hole Between My Legs!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 2, 2011

This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard you fuckers!

So this is what I hear at work today…….”I deserve a raise, this place is lucky to have me, blah, blah, I’m a stupid bitch blah, blah, blah.”

A little bastupid bitchckground on this chick:

  • Likes to leave the office early claiming she’s going to “work from home”.
  • Takes frequent mental health days.
  • Claims she knows more about the company than everyone else in the office, more than the board, more than the founders of the company, more than god.
  • Has to ask a million stupid ass questions every time she’s in a meeting just to try and show everyone how “smart” she is.

Well dear, here’s the truth, YOU are lucky that the company has kept you.  YOU are fucking lucky to even have a job since if you did get fired you’d be out on your ass without any education to back you up.  YOU might try showing the fuck up to work and staying your ever-widening ass in your fucking for a full goddamn day. 

The glass ceiling does exist, BUT it’s a self-imposed glass ceiling.  Your life is a result of your decisions girls.  If you choose to have kids in order to lock into a man’s wallet then don’t expect to be vice president or director.  People in those positions have to show up to work……….every day…………sometimes our days off (actually at this level there are no days off really).

Business is not the fucking Special Olympics, sorry Sarah Palin no free pass on this one.  Girls if you want the same results as men in the work place then you need to put in the same amount of effort.  Until then shut your goddamn tuna hole!

You’re now free to shit in the park.

beach ass

Posted in money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

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