Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

I Want More Money Because I Have A Gaping Hole Between My Legs!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 2, 2011


This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard you fuckers!

So this is what I hear at work today…….”I deserve a raise, this place is lucky to have me, blah, blah, I’m a stupid bitch blah, blah, blah.”

A little bastupid bitchckground on this chick:

  • Likes to leave the office early claiming she’s going to “work from home”.
  • Takes frequent mental health days.
  • Claims she knows more about the company than everyone else in the office, more than the board, more than the founders of the company, more than god.
  • Has to ask a million stupid ass questions every time she’s in a meeting just to try and show everyone how “smart” she is.

Well dear, here’s the truth, YOU are lucky that the company has kept you.  YOU are fucking lucky to even have a job since if you did get fired you’d be out on your ass without any education to back you up.  YOU might try showing the fuck up to work and staying your ever-widening ass in your fucking for a full goddamn day. 

The glass ceiling does exist, BUT it’s a self-imposed glass ceiling.  Your life is a result of your decisions girls.  If you choose to have kids in order to lock into a man’s wallet then don’t expect to be vice president or director.  People in those positions have to show up to work……….every day…………sometimes our days off (actually at this level there are no days off really).

Business is not the fucking Special Olympics, sorry Sarah Palin no free pass on this one.  Girls if you want the same results as men in the work place then you need to put in the same amount of effort.  Until then shut your goddamn tuna hole!

You’re now free to shit in the park.

beach ass

9 Responses to “I Want More Money Because I Have A Gaping Hole Between My Legs!”

  1. Andy said

    Ironically, I’ve been addressing serious attendance issues at my work. Only thing is that too many chicks here at work go home early on the same days of the week. As in working half a day EVERY FUCKING FRIDAY and when they’re not doing that they’re calling in sick every Friday and every Monday. Hence, starting the weekend early and extending it into the next damn week.

    Maybe if they didn’t have so many fucking kids and weren’t calling in sick regularly because of “daycare issues” or taking mental health or sick/medical leaves out the ass then maybe productivity would drastically pick up. It’s not rocket science.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      You’re not kidding. Then they wonder why the new guy who shows up all the time and ends up having to do their work gets promoted and they don’t! Of course I’m promoting him, he’s the one who fucking here!!!!
      Like you said, it’s not rocket science!

  2. Maybe you should try using less offensive words next time you are trying to prove a point.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      If you want less offensive this is not the venue. Try Marky Mark’s blog or the Spearhead, both can be found in my blogroll.

      • Yup I realized that after I read your other posts. I found it offensive because I write to empower women and you are kind of doing the opposite of it.

        And about this post, I agree with you that women who don’t work as hard as men shouldn’t expect the same results as men that do work hard.

  3. John Deaux said

    Shimolee,

    3 things you should keep in mind:

    1. This is Capt. No-Marriage’s blog….ergo, he reserves the right to use as many or as few offensive words as he pleases.

    2. Nobody is forcing you to read his material. If you don’t like it, you’re free to go elsewhere.

    3. If you don’t like his offensive words, then you women should try being less offensive in the workplace and outside the workplace in general.

    • Umm thank you for your 2 cents. When I wrote that comment I didn’t know what his blog was about. But of course I know now after reading his other posts. And for your very kindest information I don’t think women are being offensive in anyway and even if some are then there is no need to generalize it. It’s like me generalizing all men into one category and saying that you all are assholes. But I wouldn’t do that because I know everyone is not the same and I know how to think rationally.

  4. Capt. No-Marriage said

    I must say after re-reading this post…..I am quite the gentleman. I only used the F-Bomb 4 or 5 times. That’s some kind of fucking record for me. I think I deserve another Foster’s! No wait……..I deserve a fucking Foster’s! Hells yeah! I’m Crotch-a-Dile Dundee tonight bitches!

  5. jocuri zane…

    I Want More Money Because I Have A Gaping Hole Between My Legs! « Captain No-Marriage Blog…

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