Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for March, 2011

Women Of Wal-Mart

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 30, 2011


This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!

So the bitches are suing Wal-Mart.  Apparently these broads are just now discovering that getting knocked up in middle school and then getting a job in retail doesn’t pay very well.  Who knew?

Maybe the women at Wally World are pulling the same shit that women in other companies are pulling?  It’s no secret that Wal-Mart has a way of filtering out those who cannot hack it in management.  They promote you to wally world hottieassistant manager, then they work the piss out of you. 

No mental health days, no going home half-way through your day to pick up your waterhead kid you had when you were 16 and smoked meth every day so now the kid is all fucked up.

Wal-Mart believes in this crazy notion that you have to prove yourself before you go anywhere.  Yes, I know that’s so 1970, but they didn’t become the largest private employer by promoting people just for the fuck of it.

You see they are in business to make money, that’s what businesses do.  They are not charity organizations there to support you and your shitty life choices.

skankasaurusThe reason why women at Wal-Mart aren’t promoted at the same rate as men is the same as in any other company.  It’s the men who are working 70 and 80 hours a week.  It’s the men who show up to work and aren’t taking mental health days.  It’s the men who don’t take months off to have a baby.  If you want the same opportunities as men well you cunts need to put forth the same effort as men and don’t expect a fucking medal.  Just show up and do your goddamn job.

But it’s much easier to blame someone else for your shitty performance rating, isn’t it?  That’s the thing about these fucking cum dumpsters here in America.  They never even entertain the fucking thought that the root of the problem is actually THEM!!  Well Skankasaurus the problem is YOU!

Plus if these broads were such great business material then why the fuck didn’t they just start their own business?  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that’s right, that involves fucking work!  I forgot!  You dirty clams don’t like that shit!

Fuck these skanks.  I say Go WAL-MART.  Maybe next time you girls might get this thing called an education.  Nah, that’s work too.  Fuck of fucktits!

You’re now free to bang some chick who works at Target.  

Posted in money, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

My Big-Ass Mail Sack, Single Moms Still a No!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 21, 2011

This is your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers!!

I get all kinds of crazy shit in my inbox, mostly hate mail from some meth skank who is pissed off because her twat drags the ground when she walks.  But this time I found a cry for help from a reader.  I’ve changed the name to protect his dumb ass.

Hey Captain,

I’ve been reading your blog for a couple months now and you make me laugh every time I log on to my laptop. But I have a problem that I hope you could help me with. I’m a 31yr old guy who just finished graduate school. I have an ok job now making ok money, but I have a chance to possibly get another job with an awesome company in a larger city. I’ll get around a $20k raise and I’ll be making over $100k in about 5yrs if I stick with it. The problem is at my current job I met a really cool girl. She’s great! I know what you’re thinking but she really is fun to be around even with our clothes on. She’s not like most American bitches. Hell, she even cooks!

But, she is going through a divorce right now. Her kids dad is pretty much a loser who doesn’t want to help her out in any way with the kids. She got with him when she was young, but now she has matured and realizes her mistake. I know money isn’t everything so should I put off getting a new job for a little bit just to help her out? I’d feel like a jerk if I just went for the money and didn’t worry about her.

Let me know what you think. Thanks.


Ok, “Byron” thanks for dropping me a line.  So let’s take it from the fucking top.  You probably went to graduate school for the same reason that most of us go to graduate school…………to make MONEY!  You obviously had some kind of plan in place, don’t let a piece of ass get in the way, especially a high-mileage with a shit ton of baggage!

Newsflash:  All single moms who have losers for an ex and need to find a new sucker to pay all their bills are………wait for it………….really cool girls.  It’s called bait and switch!  She has to play nice, she’s damaged goods!!

But Byron, I don’t know what field you are in, but if your profession is like mine you can’t afford to get dragged down into the mud with a bunch of parental trailer trash drama.  What happens when the loser takes a swing at you?  Or better yet beats her up then you put on your Capt Save A Skank cape and slug him and guess who she’ll be crying over when the cops arrive?  It won’t be you Ace, it’ll be the father of her bastard children.  You will be the one in the slammer!! 

Tell me, how well does a felony go with your graduate degree?  What would your income potential be as a convicted felon?  You said right now your next gig would take you into the six figure range, so multiply that out by 20 or 30 years.  This is MILLIONS of fucking dollars we’re talking about here you fuck!  Goddamn! Wake the fuck up! 

You think some bitch who has already shit out some future car-jackers out of her twat is worth MILLIONS of dollars?  Are you fucking tit lick serious?

Stop talking to this bitch TODAY!  Do NOT take her calls, do not answer her texts.  Get the fuck away from her as fast as you can and from now on no more fishing off the company pier!  Find your pussy elsewhere and without all the baggage.

To quote Tom Leykis “DUMP THAT BITCH!!!!”

Soooooo, what say the rest of you to Byron?

You’re now free to dump that bitch.



Posted in money, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 11 Comments »

Happy St. Patrick’s Day Fuckers!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 17, 2011

irish ass

Hey bitch! Go get me a fuckin green beer!

And suck my dick…….or cock!!!


 green beer bitch

Posted in Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Can’t Find A Good Man?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 1, 2011

                            the fantastic whore

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!

Women, especially single mothers, love to stand on their tuna-stained soapbox and tell everyone how there just aren’t any good men left.  But do they ever ask why? Maybe this offers a clue?ghetto-white-chicks

Ahhhh yes, single motherhood in action.  Ladies, the reason there are less “real men” around is because single mothers are raising kids like that.  You are the reason, yes you ya dumb deadbeat riding skank! 

It’s the economy stupid… wait…..wrong post…….it’s your vagina stupid!!  (that’s the ticket!)

You see when you decide to that you don’t need a man and that you can do it all “on your own” (on your meaning with a man’s money, state assistance or both) this is what you get. 

I could go on explaining this but fuck that, my beer is getting warm and every guy reading this knows exactly what the fuck I’m talking about.  Even my two female readers understand.  So I’m out, let these bitches whine about the lack of men, they need to look in the goddamn mirror, then they need to smash their face into it, then they need to suck my cock……wait…..suck my cock then smash your face.  Yeah, that’ll work.

You’re now free to do coke off a hookers ass, just don’t do it at the end of her shift.


Posted in Marriage, relationship, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

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