Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

My Big-Ass Mail Sack, Single Moms Still a No!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 21, 2011

This is your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers!!

I get all kinds of crazy shit in my inbox, mostly hate mail from some meth skank who is pissed off because her twat drags the ground when she walks.  But this time I found a cry for help from a reader.  I’ve changed the name to protect his dumb ass.

Hey Captain,

I’ve been reading your blog for a couple months now and you make me laugh every time I log on to my laptop. But I have a problem that I hope you could help me with. I’m a 31yr old guy who just finished graduate school. I have an ok job now making ok money, but I have a chance to possibly get another job with an awesome company in a larger city. I’ll get around a $20k raise and I’ll be making over $100k in about 5yrs if I stick with it. The problem is at my current job I met a really cool girl. She’s great! I know what you’re thinking but she really is fun to be around even with our clothes on. She’s not like most American bitches. Hell, she even cooks!

But, she is going through a divorce right now. Her kids dad is pretty much a loser who doesn’t want to help her out in any way with the kids. She got with him when she was young, but now she has matured and realizes her mistake. I know money isn’t everything so should I put off getting a new job for a little bit just to help her out? I’d feel like a jerk if I just went for the money and didn’t worry about her.

Let me know what you think. Thanks.


Ok, “Byron” thanks for dropping me a line.  So let’s take it from the fucking top.  You probably went to graduate school for the same reason that most of us go to graduate school…………to make MONEY!  You obviously had some kind of plan in place, don’t let a piece of ass get in the way, especially a high-mileage with a shit ton of baggage!

Newsflash:  All single moms who have losers for an ex and need to find a new sucker to pay all their bills are………wait for it………….really cool girls.  It’s called bait and switch!  She has to play nice, she’s damaged goods!!

But Byron, I don’t know what field you are in, but if your profession is like mine you can’t afford to get dragged down into the mud with a bunch of parental trailer trash drama.  What happens when the loser takes a swing at you?  Or better yet beats her up then you put on your Capt Save A Skank cape and slug him and guess who she’ll be crying over when the cops arrive?  It won’t be you Ace, it’ll be the father of her bastard children.  You will be the one in the slammer!! 

Tell me, how well does a felony go with your graduate degree?  What would your income potential be as a convicted felon?  You said right now your next gig would take you into the six figure range, so multiply that out by 20 or 30 years.  This is MILLIONS of fucking dollars we’re talking about here you fuck!  Goddamn! Wake the fuck up! 

You think some bitch who has already shit out some future car-jackers out of her twat is worth MILLIONS of dollars?  Are you fucking tit lick serious?

Stop talking to this bitch TODAY!  Do NOT take her calls, do not answer her texts.  Get the fuck away from her as fast as you can and from now on no more fishing off the company pier!  Find your pussy elsewhere and without all the baggage.

To quote Tom Leykis “DUMP THAT BITCH!!!!”

Soooooo, what say the rest of you to Byron?

You’re now free to dump that bitch.



11 Responses to “My Big-Ass Mail Sack, Single Moms Still a No!!!”

  1. JL said

    Okay there is such a thing as genuine women. I do agree that you should take the job. That being said don’t dump her for it. If you believe that your relationship is strong enough to the point where u feel the need to support her and her kids than tell her that you want this job and it would in reality be the best thing for both of you. Sign a prenuptial (even if your just dating) and tell her if she wants to be with you she needs to move with you (kids included, if your not ready for the kids than no point helping her out). Kids are not baggage, there kids. Loving, carefree kids who are going through a hard time. Who may have not even met a real man that would support his family through thick and thin (that’s you). If your not ready to take a step to being a family, no point wasting yours and her time supporting her and her family.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      Well JL I have to disagree on the moving in thing. I don’t think that would be good for him, her or the kids. (hey look mommy just replaced daddy!) One of the reasons 2nd and 3rd marriages have higher divorce rates probably has a lot to do with the fact that people swing from relationship to relationship the same way a monkey swings from branch to branch. They never let go of one until they have a firm grip on the next one.

      A real man also knows a bad situation when he sees it. If she can’t support herself, that’s a bad situation. He can still be her “friend”, but nothing monetarily.

  2. Roy said

    I say, “take the job, dump her and run as fast as your legs will take you”.
    That woman, however hot she may be with or without her clothes, is a walking disaster. There are so many red flags there I’m surprised no one has spotted them!
    The money and the prestige of the job, are better any day than her sorry ass.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      Roy, you Sir are a scholar and a gentleman. I couldn’t agree more. These guys need to realize that there is way too much pussy out there to get tied up with one chick’s bullshit.

  3. Jake said

    Roy, way to go. Great advice dude, as soon as I hear the word single mom I cringe. And they turn out so nice and “cool” as the guy puts it……till they have a ring on that finger LOL


  4. Andy said

    Ok, I’ve avoided single moms like the plague ever since…forever. Seriously, steer clear of the used car lot. Take the job, dump her, move to that larger city and change your phone number. And no more single moms. Okay, “Byron”?

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      Agreed! I wonder how many guys are out there like this that were raised by single moms and the poor kid grew up his whole life hearing that men are worthless. I don’t know if that applies in this case, but it makes me wonder.

  5. Tina said

    Is there any single mom worth a man’s companionship?

    What about a mom who treats her ex with respect, doesn’t allow bad mouthing of him, has custody of the kids, pays for the kids expenses, gave her ex most of the assets, and understand’s that the world does not revolve around her precious perfect angels…

    It is understandible that dating a single parent is challenging in the best of situations – But all single mom’s are shit?

    I grew up hearing men our worthless and my parents were married until I was 25. Now that I have two boys of my own I have become painfully aware of how my “men are useless” upbringing has been damaging to me and those around me.

    I totally get where you are coming from in these post and I agree that single mom’s are raising entire generations of messed up kids. It just sucks to think a potentially great guy would not give me a slight chance simply because I’m a single mom.

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  8. Joseph said

    Don’t shit in your own backyard!!!! What happens every time the relationship goes south? You end up jobless or all your coworkers giving you the stink-eye.

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