Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for June, 2011

Planned Parenthood

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 26, 2011


Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

More Proof (as if you need any) That Single Mothers are Bad News!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 24, 2011


What’s up fuckers!

There’s an excellent article over at Niceguy’s Page written by Oxygenthief called “Dodging a Bullet”. 

A perfect title for a tale about a close encounter of the skank kind.

Enjoy and always remember what Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre taught us….


Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Crazy Comes in Many Forms

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 23, 2011

mind games

This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!

Some crazy bitches are easy to spot.  They go out of their way to let the whole world know that they’re fucked up.  books and chick

But then you have the ones who are just as bat fuck shit crazy, but just do a better job at holding it together.  In fact, some of these bitches will make you think you are the crazy one, but that’s just one of their tricks.

Just a few of the things that these bitches do is they take whatever you say and completely twist it around.  Ever seen a news conference where the reporter asks the politician one question and the guy answers a totally different question?  That’s what happens here you say one thing and she accuses you of saying something COMPLETELY fuck different.

Which that leads into another tactic where they are always accusing you of saying or doing something to hurt them.  Again here you might say one thing then she gets all bent out of shape because even though you didn’t say X, she tells you that you made her feeeeeeeel that way.

upsThey always love to talk about their feelings as if they are fact, all the while ignoring your feelings.  Her feelings rule every moment of her day, changing direction like a fart in a hurricane.

fat_ass_passThese crazy hags also get off on picking out all of your flaws.  They beat you over the head about shit that you did in the past or over some habit you have that they don’t approve of.  Now while they’re picking you apart not fucking say a word about her faults.  Hell fuck no!  You’re supposed to overlook her mountain of faults.  You’re supposed to look past her 3 kids with a loser or the fact that she spends money like Charlie Sheen goes through coke and porn stars. 

If you spot any of these telltale signs then it is time to get the fuck out of Dodge!  I don’t care how good the pussy is, how big her tit are, or how well she sucks cock.  There are millions /more out there with better pussy, firmer tits and will suck even more cock.  Move on to the next one.  Cut your losses before you knock the crazy bitch up!

You’re now free to do lines with Charlie Sheen.


Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, relationship, women | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

When A Plan Comes Together

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 12, 2011


This is your Captain speaking……………welcome aboard fuckers!

Just thought I’d take a moment to set down my beer and give some of  you fuckers out there some insight on how to get the fuck out of that shit hole of a relationship you’re in. This applies if you’re just living with somebody too, not just marriage.  I’ll be covering several common problems/tactics and if I have to break this up into multiple posts I will.

You have to fucking plan. I know that sounds like some gay Dr Fuck Phil shit, but it’s true, it’s damn true.  But a plan will also take some pressure off you because there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

  1.   You fucking have a joint account that you both put all your money into.

divorce  moneyUsually in this scenario you both also take out some spending money or some type of allowance or whatever the fuck.  This is where you need to quit spending that on $5 coffee and crack whores and put some aside in an account with your name on it only.  Just remember to “go green”, as in make sure everything is electronic.  Monthly statements, all correspondence in fact; make it paperless.  Most banks are more than happy to do this since it saves them money and saves your ass.

   2.  Your other half keeps buying shit.

Do NOT enter into ANY additional debt!  Personal or joint!!!  Now thatExcited Shopping Woman you’ve decided to make a break for the fence you want to be as light on your feet as possible.  No new car loans with wifey, no lines of credit, no additional bills that you would be on the hook for!  Stand firm on this one guys, getting you buried in debt is a common tactic women use to keep your ass chained to your job and to her ever expanding ass.

   3.  The bitch likes to snoop.

You have to cover your tracks in multiple areas here.  First off, browser history.  Most browsers have some type of private mode, make sure you use it. You don’t want your princess to see that you’ve been on or reading the Captain No Marriage Blog.  If possible don’t share a computer, but even still, clear your browsing history.

snooping-womanCell phone…., even if you delete your calls she can often still go online and view the call history there.  So don’t use your regular cell phone for shit except boring ass calls to her and your normal family and friends. Get some type of cheap ass prepaid, Wal-Mart is a great place to do this.  These phones can be recharged through cards that you pay cash for.  This is a must if you are fucking around on the side, but even if you aren’t it’s still a great idea for your other half not to know that you were calling the local utilities or checking on that sweet waterfront condo.

   4.  No more fucking kids!!clown car pussy

This actually goes with the one about not getting yourself deeper into debt.  Yes you love your kids, yada, yada, fucking goddamn yada.  Kids cost money!  If you are unhappy do NOT have another child with someone that you are wanting to leave.  In fact minimize sex as much as you can, we all know at least one person who was getting ready to leave when “suddenly” she became pregnant.  This is not the time to trust her with the birth control or start using the pull out method.

I could go on but my fucking beer is getting warm.  I’ll continue this shit some other time.

You’re now free to respect the van.

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