Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for August, 2011

Wanna Get Away?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 20, 2011


This is your Captain speaking……………welcome aboard fuckers!!!!

So there you are, it’s Friday and the boss is in a good mood so he tells everyone to pack it up and enjoy their weekend!  Hot damn, off work early!!!!  Right? Or no? 

Are you one of those guys who hates going home?  Do you dread the moment you walk in the door because you know you’re going to get an earful of bitchiness and complaints?!!  I feel your pain, I’ve been there.  A lot of guys have been there.

So how do you kill time?  Do you stop off at a neighbor bar and pound a few beers so that it will help drown out her shrill voice?  Do you stop by a friends house?  Are you one of those guys who works out in the evening so that you can get a hour or so extra to yourself?

Or do you stop at some store, hell any store, just to look around at nothing?  Do you know where every public park is in your area because you stop there just to kill time.  Are you the guy sitting in your car listening to the radio or talking on the phone to whoever you can think of calling.Woman-Bitching

I’m not talking about screwing around or anything like that.  I’m talking about what you do to waste time when the LAST goddamn place you want to go is home to her!  To the nagging, to her whining, going home to get criticized for every minor detail of your entire fucking existence!  All you want is a moment of peace and fuck quiet!!!

So tell me, did I just describe you? How do you or how did you find time for yourself when the bitch was at home?

You’re now free to shotgun an entire case of beer.


Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

You Selfish Bastard!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 3, 2011

ol dirty bastard

This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers!!

While I readily admit that I am a dirty bastard, I’m getting sick and fuck tit tired of being called a selfish bastard just because I won’t give my hard-earned income and/or time to someone who doesn’t deserve to be pissed on.

Here’s a short list of stuff that some of you have probably been accused of being selfish over.

  1. Not accepting her outrageous baggage. Baggage includes kids, her fucked up childhood and other mental issues, and the fact the last 20 guys beat the shit out of her.
  2. Not helping one of her loser ass family members who have made a career out of fucking up.
  3. Not paying off HER bills that she ran while she was out banging other guys.
  4. Not wanting to have kids of your own……..or in her brain, not wanting “her” kids.

selfishYou know what fellas, there is NOTHING wrong with looking out for #1.  If you don’t nobody will and I mean NOBODY!!!!  There is nothing wrong with working hard and excelling at something and then getting paid well for it.

There is NOTHING wrong with being promoted quicker than your peers.  (hell maybe your peers are fucking idiots!)

There is also nothing wrong with not wanting to be keyra2saddled with a bunch of debt for shit you don’t really want or need.  Like shit from Rooms to Hoe or any other bullshit purchases that women love to make.  Women love to spend money on shit that becomes worthless before you can even get it out the fucking door.


Look out for you!!

Hey, I’m not a total dick, I do give quite generously to charities that I like, but a girlfriend or her family is not a fucking charity!!

Guys don’t listen to anyone who tries to tear you down as you move up, just leave their fucking fuck ass down at the fucking bottom!

You’re now free to make to the top and then blow your bonus on shit you like.


Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , | 6 Comments »

Bipolar? Not My Fucking Problem!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 3, 2011

Young insane woman with straitjacket looking at camera close-up portrait

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!!

Newsflash: Your mental condition, whatever it may be, is not my problem.  I am not giving you some kind of get out of jail card just because your mom fucked an abusive asshole and you to see some of bipolar-in-womenthe resulting action.

Guys, if she is having episodes of batshit crazy then that is nature’s way of telling you it’s time to get the fuck out!

Her mental problems are NOT yours.  You are not a bad person for not wanting to deal with a mentally ill person.  For one, they will drag you down in to their crazy fuck life. 

By the way, this includes women who act like a total cunt one week a month and then blame it on being hormonal.  That’s a sure red flag!!!pms warrior

Now guys, we’ve all been there back when we first started dating and didn’t have a lot of experience. We met some chick, looked good and shagged well!  But that’s not all!!!!!!!!!!

She’s unstable, but she constantly blames YOU!  Everything is your fault!  You don’t do this right, you don’t do that right, hell you can’t seem to do anything right!!!  What the hell happen to that hot cool chick you met just a few short months ago?  And when you’re young and inexperienced you might actually begin to wonder what’s wrong with you!  You might even begin to think you’re going fucking crazy!!!!!

But you’re not crazy, you’re just with a CRAZY bitch!!!

The last thing I want when I go on a date is to have to guess which fucking personality is going to show up.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if a woman mentions happy pills or if you spot head meds in her bathroom……………..RUN!!!  Run silent, run deep, just fucking RUN!!!

You’re now free to run a train on a day-shift stripper.


Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, Marriage, marriage sucks, relationship, women | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

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