Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for September, 2011

Where In The Hell Is My Super Bowl Ring??!!!?!!?!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 28, 2011

greenbay super bown ring

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

So I just wanted to formally announce that I will be suing the Green Bay Packers.  Those selfish fuckers have yet to compensate for the time I spent supporting them as a fan!!  So I’m suing the fuck out of them, I’m goddamn fuck serious too!

Why?  Because I was there!!!!  Every fucking game, I was there and my contribution deserves… wait….is ENTITLED to be compensated!!!  They owe me!!!  They wouldn’t have won that championship without me!!!

cheerleadersthongWhat did you say?  Did I play?  Ummmm… but I was present!  I was there!  Oh, did I mention that I was actually cheering for the other team?  But that doesn’t matter, I still had on my Green Bay jersey that I bought used off of eBay.  In fact, I actually cheered for the other teams the whole fucking season, but……..I was there.

So riddle me this fuckers……….what would my chances be in this case?  Get thrown the fuck out of court, fined, laughed at and ridiculed?

So what if I were a woman who gave her husband nothing but fucking fuck grief the whole time their married, plus was passive aggressive in every way against everything he was trying to do……YET some how in spite of his cunt wife this guy manages to become a success and starts rolling in the fucking dough.  In that case I could make the exact same claim and end up with a guaranteed lifetime annuity, otherwise known as alimony or vaginamony!woman money

I am sick and fucking tired of these Ameriskanks, who are nothing but a glorified freeloading roommate, taking money from guys who they never did shit to support.  To the contrary they bitched every time the guy had to work late.  They bitched every time he went to a company function.  They bitched every step of the goddamn fucking way to the top, yet once the guy makes it, she wants to take all the fucking credit!!!

Fuck YOU cunt!  Being present does not equal being a contributing partner!!  Tom Leykis was right when he said that women were dream killers.  Hump and dump guys, look after yourself.  Fuck these hoes!

You’re now free to Chris Brown a bitch.

chris brown

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

Guess Who’s Back!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 1, 2011


This is YOUR Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!

So today I was sipping on my PBR and going over some recent comments to the blog and much to my surprise and delight I had a comment from none other than the Zero Tolerance Man himself!

Some of the newer readers might not know who that is, so allow me to tell the story. 

You see your Captain was not always a free man, no good people, I was fucking married and hating life!  I’d stay up late after she’d go to bed just so that I could enjoy some peace and quiet and there I was sitting in front of my laptop. 

Some of you may have heard the old anti-drug campaign of “just say no” or Nike’s “just do it”.  I Googled “just say no to marriage”, don’t ask me why, I was drunk (no surprise there).  But what was a fucking surprise was I got some responses that looked interesting! 

That’s how I found the blog of the Zero Tolerance Man.  This guy was reading my fucking mind!  He was pissed!  I don’t mean he was some angry, bitter fucker.  He was a guy who had enough and wasn’t taking women’s bullshit anymore!  In fact I believe his tag line was something like “just say no to insane women”.

Oh hell fuck yeah!!!!  But it wasn’t just his blog, it was also the cast of characters he had assembled on his blogroll.  Guys like Marky Mark and the Hawaiian Libertarian.  And of course one site leads to another and to another, thank God this happened on a weekend because my ass was up late into the night reading all this newfound knowledge.  The knowledge that I wasn’t alone in my frustration. 

That there wasn’t something wrong with me, I wasn’t going crazy, marriage just truly is a bad fucking deal for men.

You’re now free to nut on a hookers face and take your money back.

beach thong

Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks | Tagged: , , , | 9 Comments »

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