Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for February, 2012

Birth Control…..Cheaper Than Prisons

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 20, 2012


This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!

So it seems a lot of women’s groups are up in arms over birth control and the conservatives are up in arms about fucking birth control.  Everybody is talking about birth control.  Of course nobody is talking about how men have pretty much zero choice when it comes to birth control.  Wear a rubber or get sterilized, but you don’t hear us bitching. 

And as far as the women bitching, most of the womdeepthroaten bitching are either dried up and over the hill or they’re so damn ugly that nature has provided them with built in birth control aka their face.  I mean seriously, how many attractive women under 40 even know who the vice president is?  Ever try to explain politics or money to a chick?  Waste of fucking time!

Anywhore……here’s my oversimplified and alcohol-fueled take on the situation.  So Obummer wants to give birth control to poor bitches and of course use tax dollars to do so, right?  Well ok lets run with this one.  (I’m ignoring the religious mandate thing because I don’t give a fuck what the Pope says….and because I’m drunk.)

prisonIf the poor bitches have the kids then we have to pay the little cunt stains WIC, food stamps and fucking school lunches.  Then their whore mom needs a bigger section 8 apartment along with other assistance to pay her utilities and of course a gov’t cell phone (yes they have those).  Then when the little shitheads get in trouble because they don’t have a father figure around we have to pay for more juvenile detention centers.

That’s not fuck all folks!!  When the fucking womb turds get older, drop out of school and start fucking up and breaking laws then we have to pay for more police police protection.  Once the police start collecting these fuckers we have to pay for more judges and public defenders.  Then we have to pay for more prisons to house these fucking fuck fuckers!!

To hell with politics on this one!  Call me fuck crazy, but birth control sounds a hell of a lot cheaper!!

You’re now free to take the following action:  If you’re walking through a parking lot and you see a baby seat in a car.  Smash the window out Fight Club style, take the baby seat and leave a condom where the baby seat was.

*Special thanks to comedian Doug Stanhope

Posted in avoid marriage, money, Politics, Single mothers | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

The Avoid Marriage Files

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 16, 2012

fucking mail

This is your Captain speaking…..welcome aboard fuckers!

So first off I want to thank all you fuckers who take the time to drink a few cold ones and comment on the blog or take the time to email me all sorts of article links and even your own personal stories.  Your efforts are highly appreciated.

I have a comment that appeared on an older post today that I wanted to be sure that everybody had a chance to see.  It’s from a gentleman who goes by Brian but it could have been written by the guy in the cubicle next to you, your dad, your best friend, it could have been written by any guy who has at one time or another fell for the marriage dupe. 

His comment speaks not to only the true nature of marriage, but also to the true nature of most women.  Enjoy fuckers.

“I was married and will never make that mistake again, not even with a solid prenup (prenups can be overturned in court given the right circumstances – whether real or contrived).

After a couple of years, my wife decided she didn’t love me anymore but decided to stay because it was easier on her financially. She continued to make me think things were good between us (pretending to care, telling me she loved me when she didn’t, wonderful cards, sharing retirement dreams, etc.) in order to make life easier on herself monetarily. For her it was just a game and I was admittedly an easy, naive target.

We were together for twelve years and the last six (for me) were filled with confusion. I somehow knew I was being manipulated but couldn’t parse the difference between her words vs. her actions (denial). In the end, she admitted that she hadn’t cared for me for most of the relationship, that she wanted to hook up with someone else, and wanted half of the assets.

There is nothing as painful as being betrayed by someone you care for deeply. She destroyed my view of marriage and completely changed me from a loyal, devoted, loving, ‘marriage oriented’ guy into someone that will never again consider marriage. Once you stick your hand in the blender and get injured, if you’re of reasonable intelligence, making the same mistake again is unlikely.

I date now but will never again look at marriage the way I used to. If I want sex, I go out and get it. That part is simple and relatively easy to attain. For love, loyalty and companionship, I have a great dog.

Unfortunately, for many (both men and women), marriage is simply an avenue to financial gain and status.”

I think that pretty much sums it the fuck up!  Tell me you don’t want to buy that guy a beer after reading that shit!  Holy Fuck!! But at least he learned and isn’t trying it over and over. Thanks for your comment Brian and best of luck brother!

You’re now free to Chris Brown a bitch.

chris brown

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Single Mothers

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 13, 2012

Single mother

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, money, sex, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Delusional Fucking Bitches

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 12, 2012

muffintop tattoo

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!

Man what the fucking fuck is wrong with women these days?  They are simply fucking delusional!  On so damn many levels!!

This shit has been going on for years.  I can remember way back when I had some bitch who thought she would be slick and try to sleep around on me and I busted her.  I of course dumped her ass and the first words out of this cunt’s mouth was “You’ll never find another woman like me”.  Really?  Well damn I sure was hoping I could rustle me up another cheating skank.  Sucks to be me!

These are the same kind of women who when you’re with them you’ll notice that all your arguments seem to focus on what you are supposedly doing to her.  Never about any of the bat shit crazy stuff she pulls, nope it’s all about YOU!  The world revolves around her vagina.

If you’re with a woman who likes to tell you what a “good” woman she is, fucking run!!!  If she truly is a good woman then you’ll fucking know without her telling you.

Does she tell you how lucky you are?  Again, this is like the good woman thing, best to fucking run now while you’ve still got your balls!

These women like to talk about all they have to offer but truth is that they bring nothing to the fucking table.  Well……….that’s not entirely true.  A lot of women bring a steaming pile of shit to the table and want you to believe it’s fucking steak!  They bring their emotional baggage, their fat fucking asses, their mental illnesses and of course they love to bring kids from other men into the mix.

Fuck you cunts.  American women are a pump n dump at best, most of the time they’re not even worth that.

You’re now free to smack a bitch at the table.


Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

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