Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Leykis 101

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 24, 2012

Fishing Sunglasses

This is your Captain speaking…..welcome aboard fuckers!

Years ago when I was a kid, I was fishing with my uncle.  He seemed to be able to magically see where the fish were before he cast his line.  When I finally asked him what his secret was, he took off his polarized fishing glasses and handed them to me.  Holy fish tits!  I could not just see the fish swimming around, I could see all kinds of other shit in the water too!

This is basically what happens when a guy listens to the Tom Leykis Show, or reads a blog like The Hawaiian Libertarian, or  Marky MarkThey show you one truth and you end up seeing a ton of others.

The first time I heard Tom, I had no idea who or what I was listening to, but it stuck with me.  I was siting in an old Olds, killing time by listening to the AM only radio that was in the car.  The stations were in and out like they usually are at night on the AM dial, but I heard this guy say that a man’s income was inversely proportional to the attractiveness of the woman he was with.  He wasn’t saying guys should blow money on broads, he was just pointing out one of life’s many truths.rich_guy

It was like being on an island full of buried coins and someone with a metal detector finds one coin, then turns the metal detector over to you and tells you to knock yourself out.  After listening to his show, I started looking around at the world differently.  The shit really started to sink in as I passed the age of 30 and had more and more life experiences to back up what this voice on the radio was preaching.

While I do not try to copy what Tom does, he is an influence and when you read this blog I hope you can see some of that influence.  Much like if you hear a new band and they say that they are influenced by Metallica.  When you hear them play you would expect to hear a bit of Metallica’s style in their music. 

You are now free to get a blow job in the front seat of an old Oldsmobile, trust me, there’s plenty of fucking room. 

17 Responses to “Leykis 101”

  1. Andy said

    Great post especially since Tom came back earlier this month after a 3-year hiatus. The strange thing is that I was living just a little bit by Leykis 101 before I ever heard of this guy. I don’t try to emulate this guy either but he makes many relevant and valid points that leave many flabbergasted. Not to mention his shows are beyond astounding and fucking hilarious. Well, quite a few years ago I fulfilled one of my fantasies of getting a blow job while watching SportsCenter so an old Oldsmobile is next.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      Thanks man. It’s good to hear his show again and even better now that it’s not censored. I like the SportsCenter idea! I’m thinking this year a blow job during the Stanley Cup Finals will be my goal.

  2. Kyle said

    I just discovered Tom Leykis recently and have been listening to his shows on Youtube and at the Leykis archives website. It has been nice to finally listen to someone whom I think exactly as. I am 28 right now, but since fourteen or so have been very skeptical of marriage and have known since 22 for a fact that I do not want to get married. I still hold out hope for finding that special significant other, but the idea of signing a legal contract when one can get all the benefits of the relationship without said legal contract has never made any sense to me (except if one believes marriage is needed for religious reasons). Relationships are not dependent on any man-made legal contract. If anything, I think it shows true devotion if a couple remains together while unmarried, because it shows neither is staying out of fear of divorce, but out of devotion. One thing that really amazes me is how many guys just “get married” without thinking it through, as there’s so many things that could go wrong.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      I agree with you Kyle, marriage just doesn’t make sense for a guy. As for Tom, you nailed it man. It is nice to hear someone out there in the “media” that thinks like you do and not pushing all the typical Dr Fuck Phil and Oprah crap.

  3. notasucker said

    I’ve had friends that became an engineer, got married and a had kid, became a doctor, got married and had a kid, moved up the corporate ladder, got married and had a kid and I just never could understand it. On the surface, they seem to be rational people, but they must not understand the stress and financial ruin that can bring in today’s world. They are either trying to please their parents, think that’s “what they’re supposed to do”, or think that’s the only way to get tail. I knew that was the not the life I wanted, but it was good to discover Leykis to help back me up in my thinking.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      Like you said man, it’s only on the surface that these guys look like they have it together. Because if those guys get divorced, that’s when they’ll find out just how much marriage really costs. I have friends who on paper make six figure incomes that are living like a broke college student all because they’re paying insane amounts of alimony and child support.

      • notasucker said

        That’s true for divorce, but even if they stay together, to me it’s like they’re still selling themselves short. Let’s face it, the guy is usually going to be spending a higher percentage of his income in a relationship than the woman, you miss out on a lot by ending your bachelorhood, and you never really know how far you can go in life and you’re already settled. For example, if you suddenly start making Buffett or Gates money, how could you still want to live in a boring suburb with a chunky wife? I could go on and on, but there’s just too many arguments for marriage to be logical for a guy nowadays.

      • Capt. No-Marriage said

        Couldn’t agree more!! Those guys have to wonder at some point why in the hell they’re working their asses off to make someone else’s dreams come true. Those are the guys that if you get them away from their wives and get a few beers in them, they’ll be more than happy to fill you in on all the horrors and broken dreams of their lives.

      • When women endlessly drone on and on about how ‘wonderful’ marriage is, they’re right; it IS wonderful — FOR THEM.
        But for men, marriage now is like playing ‘musical electric-chairs’: even if he ‘wins’, HE LOSES.

  4. MRA said

    Every so often I start beta sliding and thinking it is a good idea to get married and I need a jolt to remind me why it is such a bad idea. Thanks for being that jolt. Now we just need you to post more often.

    • Just do what a buddy of mine says he does when he thinks about getting married again: juggle a couple of rattlesnakes until the feeling passes.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      @MRA Thanks man! I appreciate you stopping by. @TakeTheRedPill I like the rattlesnake idea, it actually sounds a lot safer than getting married!!!

  5. Andy said

    Marriage is such a bad idea that it’s an inspiration to stay single. I would rather come home from work to an empty abode and kick back with a cold beverage while flipping between porno and sports on my flat screen than get bitched at for having a penis or forgetting to buy milk on the way home.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      I love coming home to an empty house where everything is just the way I like it (and the way I left it).

    • MarkyMark said


      What I love about being a happy bachelor is that I come home to PEACE & QUIET-yes! I do what I want, when I want, how I want. If I see something I want, I buy it; I don’t need Wifey’s permission. For example, I have some extra money now, so I’m going to buy a motorcycle or scooter with it. Why? Because I want it, and because I CAN-ha!! Whenever I think about having a woman in my life, counting my happy bachelor blessings usually disabuses and dissuade me of such a quaint notion…

      Oh, and Cap, thanks for the plug! I appreciate it, even though my blog isn’t what it once was. Now that we’re wrapping up my mother’s estate, perhaps that’ll change…

      Oh, and I used to listen to Tom Leykis back in the day. I listened to him about a year or so. I LOVED his ‘Flash Fridays’-good stuff! But after listening to him for a year or so, I’d heard all I needed to hear; it was all the same stuff, so I stopped listening. But yeah, Leykis has some good info that guys need to hear…


      • Capt. No-Marriage said

        Marky Mark good to hear from you brother!

        You hit the nail on the head about coming home to peace and quiet. When I come the place is exactly the way i left it, I don’t trip over the toys of some single mother I’ve taken in nor does my bank account trip over the spending habits of some broad. I order all the sporting events on TV I want, hell like you said…..I do what I want all the time. My life is so amazingly stress-free and I love it!

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