Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Financial Hail Mary

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 6, 2012


This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!!

I don’t know about you fucking fuck fuckers but I’m getting tired of seeing stories like this where you have a professional athlete who makes millions of dollars only to be bankrupt the moment they step off the field.   Whether it’s the TO story like above or the recent stories of how 78% of NFL players are broke within 2 years of retiring, it’s fucking insane and I’m here to say that the main drain on these guys’ finances is NOT their fucked up spending habits, although that doesn’t help.  It’s getting fucked up with women.

Take TO for example, over $44,000 a goddamn month for child support?  Are you fucking shitting me?  So each bitch gets $11k a month just because she money grubbing bitchspread her fucking legs? Fuck you cunt, it doesn’t take that much to raise a fucking kid.  Get a fucking job of your own!!

Now these guys don’t just need financial education so that they understand how shit like interest works and to keep them from “investing” in every bullshit scheme that comes down the pike.  They need someone to come in and explain how the family court system works and show these fuckers just how much money they could end up paying some bitch.

They need to see guys who are out of the league but still have to pay their ex-wives tens or hundreds of thousands of fuck dollars each year even though they no longer make jack shit!!!

They need someone to remind them that THEY are the ones in charge of their lives and not to let some cum pond talk and whine and cry them into marriage or children.  These shit-stained hoes aren’t bring anything to the fucking table, these guys need to learn to tell these bitches to shut their fucking hole unless it has their dick in it.

Articles like this piss me off because they like to focus on the cars, houses and the bad investments these guys make.  Usually with shit like that the guy just pays cash for it.  It’s the ONGOING liabilities that fuck these guys.  Liabilities like fucking alimony and child support but the politically correct assfucks that write these articles are too fucking scared to call a spade a spade. 

Yes these guys tend to blow money on stupid shit.  Yes they listen to the wrong people, but if most of them weren’t paying outrageous motherfucking child support and/or alimony to some jizz jockey then they’d actually have some of their fucking money left.  I’d wager they’d have most of it left!

You’re now free to invest in another case of beer.


3 Responses to “Financial Hail Mary”

  1. Curiepoint said

    You know, I am terribly loathe to hate on any guy. I do believe in Bro before Ho. However, I admit that there is a certain satisfaction in seeing these guys watch you with envying eyes as you walk away from the toxic atmosphere, and with that vague but unmistakeable look that says “What the fuck am I doing? How did I get into the mess I am in? Why couldn’t I have enjoyed life more before walking into Hell?”

    These same guys who take you to task for not being willing to stick your head in a noose and end your life. These same guys who work up a sweat trying to convince you how life is good to them. These guys who try to convince you that their wives are different from any common street whore.

    The Look. See it for yourself.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      I see those guys every day at work. Guys who make six figure salaries who have to “get permission” to make plans for the weekend or go for a beer after work. They’re a shell.

    • So true, Curiepoint!
      Try and tell these guys…they won’t listen if you try to warn them about how devious and conniving women actually are. Instead, they will endlessly mock and insult you — ‘gay’, ‘queer’, ‘can’t get any’, etc. After awhile, you finally wash your hands of them and let them walk off of the cliff.
      You tried to warn them, but there’s some times you just have to let them learn for themselves.
      But of course, it’s too late by then.

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