Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Avoid Marriage! Great Advice for Gays Too!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 8, 2012


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This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!

So you’re gay, the state you live in has legalized gay marriage or civil unions and you want to make a point dammit!  You and your partner are getting married!!!!  Well you might want to read this article first. 

Divorce will cost you even more!  Did you read that shit?  People getting kicked out of the house they’ve lived in when their partner dies, benefits getting cut off……wait this sounds a lot like a normal divorce…….

gay marriage signThat is a normal heart wrenching family court experience I just described, although more fucked up if your gay because of the fucked up factor between the state and federal government.  But nonetheless it proves one point.

Marriage is a bad fucking idea no matter if you are straight, gay or Justin Bieber.  I would actually say even more so if you are gay since there are so many more legal landmines you have to maneuver through.  If you’re straight, the feds and state government have already agreed on how they plan to fuck you together.  They’re still working on it for you guys.

Listen gay people, take the butt plug out of your ear for a minute and listen to me.  Just because you’re gay does not mean all the shit we talk about here doesn’t apply to you!  If you want to make some kind of political or social statement then fucking vote.  DO NOT get married because in the end, the very people you are trying to make a point to will still get the last laugh. 

This shit could fuck up your life forever!!  Don’t believe me?  Look at some of the comments on this blog by guys who have had their lives destroyed by the family court system.  To the system you aren’t gay or straight, you’re just another person to fuck with.  Just say no to marriage.  Trust me, this is one “right” you don’t want anything to do with!!

You’re now free to watch Jewish lesbian midget porn.

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5 Responses to “Avoid Marriage! Great Advice for Gays Too!!”

  1. Ralph said

    Ha, great stuff…thank you ladies from high school/college for not wanting me. Now I’m not in your trap of deceit, bills, and bitching. Plus, you don’t look quite as good.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      Man you can say that again! My high school reunion looked like the casting call for the next season of the biggest loser.

  2. I love the sign: “Attention Heterosexuals / We Want To Be Miserable Too” (assuming that the sign wasn’t Photoshopped, i.e., altered).

    Go ahead and get married, you dumb bozos!! You WILL be miserable, alright!
    And when you find yourself being divorced, the fun REALLY starts!

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      We tried to warn them. I don’t know why they think they won’t have to go through the same crap as we do, but they’ll find out the hard way.

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