Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Come Get YOUR Son!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 25, 2012

your son

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!!!

So how many of you have heard that line “Come get “your” son”?  I’d bet most of us either know about this first hand or have seen it play out with a close friend or family member.  Here’s how the shit often plays out.

You’re an average guy and you’re just banging some chick just to pass the time until something better (thinner) comes along.  Then she gets knocked up and being the average (nice) guy you fall for that do-the-right-thing bullshit, this is of course after you try to convince her to have an abortion.  

But as I said before, this isn’t your dream girl, this is just some broad you’re banging until you finish college, get promoted or just decide to upgrade.  So you’re not really thrilled to be there in the first place but you hang in there for a bit, maybe even for a couple years or so. 

Then the moment comes when you just can’t take it anymore, you’re tired of looking at her big fat ass, you’re tired of being told what a piece of shit you are, you just tired of everything about that fucking cunt!  Young insane woman with straitjacket looking at camera close-up portrait

So you leave…..BUT……you still try to do right by the child.  However, this where Super Cunt really shows up.  She tries to use the kid to get you to spend time/money with her.  When she finally realizes her bullshit games aren’t working then she goes into revenge mode.  That’s when she starts telling the kid stuff like daddy doesn’t love you or daddy loves his new girlfriend more than you.  She’ll make up anything and everything to make her look like a martyr and you look like the devil’s asscrack. 

During this time she will let you know every chance she has that the kid is “Her son” and that in her feeble mind she’s the master of the universe.

This works great for her until the kid reaches his teenage years.  That’s when the shit hits the fan.  That’s when the kid’s mind is so fucked up from all the lies and bullshit she’s been pumping into his head starts to come back and bite her in big fat saggy ass.  This is when he becomes “too much to handle” and now she just wants to ship him off to you so that you can deal with the monster that she created.

It’s here that I have to give a shoutout to a buddy of mine going through this right now.  We’ll just use his nickname, Dick Trickle (yes he’s a NASCAR fan).  Our buddy Dick told his ex-piece-of-ass a firm HELL NO!  He said he isn’t a fucking janitor and he’s not about to come in and try to clean up her mess.  He told me that when the kid gets older and moves out he’ll make an attempt to contact.  If the kid chooses to listen then good, if he’s too messed up from his mother’s bullshit then oh fuck well, she got exactly what she wanted.  He said he got so fucking tired of her telling him to “man up” every time he refused one of her insane demands that now it was time for her to “woman up”

Now some people may not agree with how Dick is handling this, (I for fucksake agree with it) but considering that he is not the one created this mess it’s hard to blame him.  Especially when he tried to have regular contact early on.  Maybe if she would have followed the advice of my good friend Scarecrow and “Showed Dick some respect” she wouldn’t be in this predicament.

So let this be a lesson not just to the guys about knocking chicks up but also to the women out there who think that it’s ok to pump your kids’ heads full of bullshit about their father.  Even if the guy is the worst POS in the world, maybe you should look at yourself and figure out why you decided to have a child with someone like that.  Why don’t you explain to your kids why mommy loves to conceive with losers?  Truth hurts sweetheart.

You’re now free to drink alone….with nobody else.

Walker Black Label

7 Responses to “Come Get YOUR Son!”

  1. Ed said

    I managed to not knock up some whore, nor have I fallen in to the marriage trap. I’m almost 40, and I read stories like this all the time…but yet I still make attempts to get a girlfriend. Why? What’s the fucking point besides getting my dick wet? The only ones who ‘settle’ for being a fuck buddy are big fat single mommies, and even they turn lunatic after a few fuck sessions. The ones who I can actually bear to look at when I’m not plastered start inquiring why I haven’t been married by date #2. I may or may not nail them, but it’s apparent that they all want to get hitched. They have their finances (my finances) to worry about, after all. The point is, I should just jack off and be happy. Fuck dealing with women and their bullshit…

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      So you probably get hit up by a bunch of bitches you went to school with 20yrs ago, the ones that used to be hot but now they have a head that looks like it’s already worn out 3 bodies. These broads would love to be a fuck buddy, but once again, who can stand to look at them, even plastered!

      Right now I treat women like Seal Team 6 treated Osama. I go in under the cover of darkness, hit it and get the fuck out!!!

    • Kyle said

      You don’t want to just jack off, as you will start to hunger for a woman big-time. You need the physical touch and feel and all that of a woman. Jacking off isn’t enough unto itself. If you are sure you don’t want children, then get a vasectomy. And tell women you don’t want children, but do not tell them about the vasectomy (this way if they try to put a pinhole in the condom or stop taking birth control, you are safe, and will also find out she’s untrustworthy when she asks if you are sterile after awhile). There are a whole lot of guys out there, married with children, who think the pregnancy was an “oops” when really the woman tricked him into it.

      • Capt. No-Marriage said

        I always use condoms and as Kyle said all I tell women is that I don’t want kids. Within a year of having my vasectomy I had a broad claiming she had an “oops”. I told her that was her problem and of course she called me every name in the book. When I called her bluff she had the nerve to claim that I was the one being dishonest. Typical American cunt, no matter what it’s never their fault.

        I’ll tell you this, of all my investments, the vasectomy is the best one I’ve ever made. It’s saved me tons of money!!

      • Ed said

        Yes, it’s nice to have a touch of a woman, but the cost seems to be too high. I got a vasectomy last year, but frankly in my mind it gave me a license to have unprotected sex with just anyone. Fortunately nothing bad has happened, and I want to keep it that way.

  2. Kyle said

    A vasectomy should only be for unprotected sex with someone you know for sure that you can trust not to sleep around, otherwise it is just a fail-safe in case the condom was to fail. But you should still always use condoms in order to protect against STDs. Also be aware that condoms will not necessarilly protect against herpes. Herpes can be transmitted even with a condom on, via skin-to-skin contact of those areas of the body. It has also been found that both types of herpes can be spread to either region of the body (“mouth” herpes can be spread to the genital area and “genital” herpes can be spread into the mouth). There are a whole lot of people with mouth herpes in their genital area and genital herpes in their mouth area and so forth who don’t even know it because they are not experiencing symptoms (herpes can also be spread mouth-to-mouth too) and think condoms are adequate protection, or aren’t aware that mouth herpes can also spread to someone’s genitals and vice-versa. Be careful out there fellas!

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