Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Playboy Playmates are no Exception

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 26, 2012


90s playboy cover

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!

So the net and entertainment shows are a buzz about Jenny Mccarthy posing for play boy at just a few months shy of being 40.  So fucking what?  For one Playboy is notorious for their photoshopping and airbrushing skills.  We all know that when it comes to Playboy what we see is not what we get. 

And to all the old hags who look at Jenny and think that they too can still be Playboy hot at 40…….you dumb broads need to wake the fuck up.  Let’s do a quick comparison here. 

First Jenny back around 1993 when she was hot……

jenny mccarthy when she was hot

Now let’s look at over the hill Jenny.

jenny mccarthy now

Pretty clear isn’t it?  Yes even if I look at a more “flattering” picture of her one thing is clear……women do NOT get hotter as they age.  That’s why they try to rope you into marriage as soon as fucking possible with what little bit of looks they do have in their 20s.  They know that shit is short lived!

Although they don’t like to admit that they know it.  This is obviously a last ditch ego boost for Ms Mccarthy as the dives off the cliff.  Now I’m not saying that 40yr old Jenny isn’t worth a quick bone, but that’s all it’d be worth.  And the fact is she is in the top 1% of American women as far as looks, that’s the sad fucking part.  This is our fucking best and we still look like horse jizz next to the other countries.

So guys, no matter how hot your little girlfriend is now, take a good look, hell you better take lots of pictures too because as each day passes, so does her beauty.  That’s why she’s trying to lock you in with marriage and/or fucking rugrats.  Don’t fall for this smoke and mirrors donkey-show these broads are putting on.

The best thing guys can do with women is to treat them the same way Seal Team 6 treated Osama Bin Laden.  Go in under the cover of darkness, hit the target fast and hard, then fade off into the night sky. 

Ignore all the feel good bullshit out there, women do not improve with age.  Yes I know there are some porkers who don’t get off their ass and lose the weight until their 30s but if they hadn’t been so fucking lazy and lost the weight early on (or never gained it) then they would have been hotter when they were younger.  All women are hotter at 20 than at 40, yes they can still  be fuckable, but some of us drink a lot and therefore fuckable is a moving target.

You’re now free to hop into your hot tub time machine and go back and fuck Jenny Mccarthy when she was smoking hot. 

tits and hot tubs

12 Responses to “Playboy Playmates are no Exception”

  1. Ross said

    Also, the average girl can’t afford the same products, procedures, injections, implants, etc to help them age slower like celebrities can.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      You’re right about that. Of course the average American woman can’t seem to find a gym or take the fork out of their mouth either.

      • Kyle said

        SO TRUE! It seems all I ever see are big, fat women these days. Not slightly over-weight girls, not chubby girls, but big fat walking tubs of lard.

  2. Seriously! And the idiot chicks who work 50-60 hours a week trying to be like a man…they’re just aging themselves faster. Celebs look good at 40 and 50 because they DONT FUCKING WORK!!!! Its easier to look good with botox and lipo and such when your body feels 10 years younger because its gotten 9 hours of sleep every night!

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      You’re right but these chicks are still falling the the feminist line that they can have it all and sacrifice nothing. Like you said, idiots!

  3. The photo on the cover of the magazine looks as though it was crudely altered, with the head and hair from a younger photo superimposed on a photo with her older body.
    And did you also notice the difference between the poses in the two other pics? The older Jenny is not smiling, has short hair with no lipstick or makeup, and is covered up to her neck (no cleavage showing). And her eyes…ye gods, what an example of the ‘thousand-cock stare’!
    These old, washed-up, feminist hags can go right ahead and convince themselves that they’re better looking now than they were 20 years ago, but any man with the eyes to see can also ‘see’ how delusional these old bats are!

  4. Andy said

    That chick in the hot tub is just waiting for me to drop loads all over her massive mammaries!

  5. Zeta Pan said

    This is off topic. I’ve lurked on a number of MRA and MGTOW sites and read about the horrors of marriage and children. As an unattached male with a great lifestyle, I came to take my freedom and peace of mind for granted. I would occasionally think “Is this it?” I even considered taking the plunge. God saved me today. I exchanged several emails with an old friend I have not heard from in 7 years. The picture of marriage complete with a four year old, limited money, limited time, always on the run, always worrying about money added a badly needed realism that was not apparent in the things I read. I will now pray daily to the Bachelor Gods and make burnt offerings every full moon. I had absolutely no idea how horrid marriage and children can be.

    The absolutely hilarious thing is I have a five day weekend because of Labour Day and felt bored. I will never take my liberty for granted every again. Call me ZetaPan!

    • Ross said

      This is the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile. Yea, it kind of sucks at first because your buddies are shacking up with chicks and you think your missing out, but as the years roll on, you see you’ve been given the gift of singledom.

      • ZetaPan I’m glad you didn’t take the plunge. Many of us have had those exact same thoughts only to take that final step only to wish later that we didn’t. As Ross wisely pointed out, sometimes we think we’re missing out. But we have to remember we’re also not getting the whole picture. Often times our seemingly happy buddy is living with a ball buster or an ice cube or a cheater or any number of other fucked up situations that may look great on the outside.

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