Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Shit Married Guys NEVER Say!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 6, 2012


American bitch

What’s up fuckers, here’s a short list of shit that you will NEVER hear any married man say……EVER!!!!

  • She turned into a total freak after the wedding; I can’t keep her off me!
  • She was chunky when we dated but now after having a couple kids she has a fucking washboard stomach and her ass if fucking amazing!
  • I get awesome blow jobs all the fucking time!
  • I love having sex with the same woman day after day.
  • Now that we have kids our sex life has never been better.
  • Since becoming a mom she loves to wear sexy clothes and never goes out looking like a slob any more.
  • The sex gets better year after year!
  • I wasn’t pressured at all by her to get married.
  • I’d get married again in a heartbeat!
  • I’m glad we had kids before we were financially stable.
  • She really brings a lot to the table, not just sex.
  • My wife is the best lay I’ve EVER had!

7 Responses to “Shit Married Guys NEVER Say!”

  1. Ed said

    – My wife always approves of everything I ever do. I’ve never been nagged once.
    – I can do no wrong, everything I do is perfect in her eyes.
    – That rock I dumped thousands in to was a much better investment than something practical or something I would have enjoyed.
    – I really enjoyed spending $20k on a glorified cocktail party.
    – My wife would NEVER be motivated by my money to divorce me.
    – I’ll never get over driving that ten year old Dodge minivan.
    – What’s credit card debt?
    – My wife’s endless blather about nothing gets more and more interesting, especially after a hard day’s work.

    Gee, I really need to go find a wife…

  2. Do you know the title of the world’s shortest book?
    “Why American Men Should WANT To Marry: 2012 Edition”

    (It’s all blank pages, of course.)

  3. Mina said

    There are a few of us out here who really do care about our husbands and want to have sex with them all the time, even going so far as to work out so we look better in tiny mini skirts and no underwear to tempt him into it during pool games in the basement. We are out here, really. but… based on a lot of reading I’ve done lately there certainly are not a lot or even enough of us. my working theory so far is how the world is conspiring to make people into sheep from elementary school as clearly that’s where the girls are taking a left turn. I am sure I managed to avoid it only because of my strong, intelligent (alpha) father and my love of star trek and horses. I don’t have any answers and probably just as many if not more questions that you do. the state of the state of women and specifically male/female relations is very, very bad. one thing you may be able to look forward to is how things will change/improve with the economic contraction and possible collapse. Women will certainly start to see the value of MEN again and there will be a lot less time and energy for whining and complaining about how unfulfilling and unhaaaappy their lives are. It’s a shame that we wasted this era of plenty and leisure during our historic energy surplus the way we have. we don’t have this much free time to look forward to in our futures.

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