Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Fishing Off the Company Pier?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 22, 2013


This is your Captain speaking…..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Title says it all……do you date coworkers?

Most of us probably have at some point.  I did when I made a lot less money, now I’d never risk it. 

Some of my peers think I’m crazy because of "all the hot women at work", but unless you work at strip club or a Hooters, chances are there aren’t as many hot prospects around as you might think.  Think I’m crazy, check this out…

Couple thousand people in my building, about 75% female, so about 75 women out of every 100 people.  Well here in good ole Merica about 70% of adults are overweight or obese, so that leaves us with 23 women out of the 75 that aren’t fat.  Of those 23, chances are half of them will be way past their prime, so you’d be lucky to have a dozen of the 23 that would be under 40.  Of the remaining 12 half of them will be fucking ugly, might be a butter face or two in there if you’re lucky.  So now we’re down to 6, of those six at least 4 or 5 of them will be either married or in a relationship.  So for every 100 people I see, one possibly two might be available to fuck, maybe not even one or two if you weed out for mental health issues.   Yes my math is probably fucked up but you get my point fuckers.

Another thing that leads to this misperception of our workplace teeming with pussy is the fact we tend to stay in our own areas.  So we might have 3 or 4 hot women in our department, we see them all the time and it leads our minds to think we’re surrounded by beauty when all we’re really doing is blocking out the fatties and ugly broads and focusing on the couple half-way decent looking broads.

What I’m saying is it’s not worth your job to go hunting in an environment that isn’t even target rich, it’s actually target poor when you compare it to other venues.  Even if you do score the hottest piece of ass at your job, what happens when you break up with the bitch or if she sees you talking to another chick about business but she assumes you’re fucking her because she’s bat-shit crazy and marches down to the HR department to file a sexual harassment claim?  Pussy isn’t worth your career, hell it’s not even worth losing a piss poor fucking job over.

Trust me guys, don’t date bitches at work, don’t be fucking lazy and go for the low hanging fruit.  It’s low hanging for a reason.

You’re now free shit in the recycle bin.

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3 Responses to “Fishing Off the Company Pier?”

  1. Andy said

    Glad to hear this problem isn’t exclusive to my job. Yes, the workplace is NOT a target-rich environment. You have a better chance of being attacked by a peanut butter-covered pterodactyl than scoring high-quality dates or poon in the workplace. The fact that the workplace is a very poor environment for dating makes it so much easier to focus on your actual work because there are no quality women around. When you’re at work, focus on your work, not some overweight, over-the-hill headcases. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself when you save up enough vacation time to visit better dating venues or get promoted. Focus.

  2. Mike said

    I worked at a corporate HQ for 10 years with around 1,800 people and there were a few hot chicks. Most of them were married or in committed relationships. Others were divorced with children. There weren’t that many fatties in that job. I can’t think of anyone who I would have and could have dated.

    Now I’m working for Uncle Sam in a building with about 1,400 people. I would say 80% of the women are morbidly obese. Of the remaining 20%, I would say 15% are much older than I am. The other 5% who look good, most are in relationships. I think there is one very hot chick who might be single and another who is pretty good looking, but divorced with at least one child. Of the 1,400 employees, I would guess that 800 are women. That’s 2 out of 800 who look good and are single and one has baggage for those willing to take on that job.

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