Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for November, 2016

What Exactly Do You Want?!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 24, 2016


This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Have you ever wanted something like a car, different house or apartment and you weren’t really sure you could swing it until you sat down and did the math?  Maybe you even realized you didn’t need the new vehicle or the numbers really made you think about what you really want?  Maybe you really looked at how the location your new apartment would affect your daily life and not just the two days you have off on the weekend?

Well fuckers, when it comes to marriage, girlfriends, and women in general, we need to do the math and look at what we really want or need.

It’s already been discussed here and many other places about how expensive it is to have a wife or girlfriend.  So let’s dive into the other area of what it is we really want.

Sex, that’s pretty much the alpha and the omega of why any guy talks to a woman.  But as Tom Leykis has pointed out sex is a biological need, an urge just like taking a shit or a piss.  He warns us not to fall in love with the urinal, no matter how bad we have to piss.  Excellent advice.

Most guys pay too high a price for pussy, either with their money or their time or both.  Truth is, we just want to bust a nut then go about our day.  That’s what you really want. So why not just do that?  Yes, I know you can’t do that and keep the same easy piece of ass there day in and day out.  First off, talk to any married guy, just because he has ass there at his house 24/7 doesn’t mean he gets it, hell chances are he doesn’t even want it.  Having sex with the same woman over and over is like watching the same movie over and over except that each time you watch it, it gets worse.

Also, while it’s true you will need a bullpen of greater than one to be able to bang a chick and then haul ass, the actual number isn’t as high as you think.  You won’t have to live in the Playboy Mansion to pull it off.  Women love assholes, so when you bang a chick then get up and put your clothes on because (insert bullshit excuse), she MIGHT be pissed for a week or two.  While she’s pissed off, you’ll be banging another broad, and so on.

What’s more likely to happen is your lack on neediness will make her come on even stronger and you’ll just have to go dark here and there when a chick starts getting too needy.  Don’t worry, she’ll be more than ready when you send her the booty call text.

What I’m saying is think about the kind of life you want.  Maybe you are the guy who likes female company for shit other than fucking.  Fine, still keep it to that event and don’t let her worm her way into your daily life.  Chances are whatever deal you’re going too, it will have chicks there, so even for you “female company” guys, taking a chick you know someplace is still a bad idea, it’s the old bringing sand to the beach.  You want to be available for new opportunities.

You’re now free to move about your life.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Welcome to the Real World…Pussy

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 18, 2016


This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Holy fucking shit!!!  I was fully expecting to be under the reign of Queen Hillary come next year.  Don’t get me wrong, the nanny state will still no doubt get bigger, it’s just what governments do.  We’re fucked in that respect.

But damn, look how the SJWs, feminists and pretty much everyone the left has just lost their fucking minds.  I mean the poor little things, they’ve never had to deal with loss before.  What happened to the participation trophy?

Now I see stories about white people wearing safety pins to designate themselves as safe people to talk to or some bullshit.  Why?  Well……….you might want to sit down for this…….there are bad people out there.  Yeah, who the fuck knew.  Apparently they were all sitting on their hands until the election, they were sitting at home canning vegetables for the long winter ahead.  Until Trump won, then suddenly they all came out of the woodwork and are now threatening anyone who isn’t a straight white male.

This is seriously some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Am I saying there aren’t racists and shit out there, of course not. I’m saying they’ve been there all along but Generation Snowflake thought all their FaceBook likes and boycotts were actually doing something.  I mean fuck, why actually do something when you can change your profile picture?

Welcome to our world snowflake, where the system is fucked and so are you. How much of a fucking pussy to you have to be to actually be depending on a certain candidate to get elected.  Ok, if you work in DC, different story.  But you know what the fuck I’m saying, all these fucks on social media talking about how fucking scared they are now.  How dark times are coming.  Bunch of fucking twats!

I didn’t vote for Trump, ever since the Libertarians said they want to legalize hookers and blow, I was in!  Now, have I cried or rioted the past several elections when my guy NEVER wins………no, I voted, I drank……sometimes not in that order………and I went about my fucking life because I am the one who determines my fate, not some old fucks in Washington.

Grow up snowflakes, this is the real fucking world where there are winners and losers and you fucks are losing.

You’re now free shove a safety pin up someone’s ass.


Posted in Captain No Marriage, Politics, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

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