Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Men Love Fat Women

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 31, 2017


This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

I know a lot of the large and in charge hefties who claim that men love them just the way they are. They vary in fatness, from Jabba the Hut to the cute chick with a model face but a spare tire that is usually outclassed by her outrageously huge tits.  Their main claim is that men of course love fat women because look around, them and other women like them are able to get laid.

To me that’s like saying, since prisons are over-crowded, that must mean the rooms are really nice. The Ritz Carlton isn’t over-crowded, prison therefore must be nicer than the Ritz.

Let’s step back in time gentlemen, not too far, maybe the 80s, big hair, cocaine, Mtv actually played music.  I heard an older and wiser man say that in his day, the guys who played sports in school got the pretty girls and the rest of us got the other ones but they weren’t bad since they usually had the body, just not the face.

My how times change. I can remember the end of that era. It’s not new, the guys with the most power/resources get to choose their mates, nothing new there since the dawn of time. But like the old guys said, the ones left were still pretty fucking good. I had a prom date that from the neck down could have been in High Society magazine, maybe even Swank if you included her face. She had zero chance of prom queen but she would have taken the prize for blow job queen, that bitch loved to practice!

Back then, average meant she had her shit together but she just wasn’t blessed with a playboy bunny face. Like a getting a hail damaged Lexus, it’s still a fucking Lexus.  Nowadays when a woman says she’s average that just means that she can walk around Walmart under her own power without using one of those scooters. I saw some shit where a chick who was a size 16 was calling her self average.

We’ve got that 200lb tub of a SI cover model trying to convince all the other fatties that she works out. Works out of a Burger King bag maybe.

The guys you see with fat women today are the same types of guys who had the average decent looking women 30 years ago. The problem is women have lowered the bar quicker than Michael Jackson was lowering little kids pants.

Yes, there are a TON of guys with overweight women, show me the guys who are with a fat chick and are happy about it. Show me the guy who is with a tubster and wouldn’t trade her big ass in faster than a used Ford Tempo is his income suddenly doubled. You can’t because that guy doesn’t exist.

“But if the guy didn’t like it he wouldn’t be there….”

Let me clear that shit up right now, humans are lazy, it’s our nature to take the path of least resistance. Fat chicks are the path of least resistance when it comes to pussy. Yeah, spoiler alert, fat girls are easy. Rub your cock in chicken grease and let the magic begin.

Some of you guys actually got one of the decent ones, SCORE…………oh wait….it was bait and switch, after the marriage she just packed on the comfort weight. Apparently it took her 80lbs of extra weight to be comfortable. Lucky you.

The only thing that will change this is some type of SHTF (that’s for my readers who are preppers) scenario where food isn’t readily available at women’s fat fingertips. When we are forced to go back to a more primitive way of life where the slowest one of the bunch is the one who dies, that’s when shit will change. Until then if you want to fuck an American woman you better strap on the beer goggles, hell make it the Everclear goggles, beer just isn’t cutting it anymore with these bitches.

You’re now free to do shots of Everclear

2 Responses to “Men Love Fat Women”

  1. Andy Vasquez said

    You hit the nail on the head, Captain! For years I’ve known that average chicks (whether they had nice bodies but average face, or cute face but chubby body) were the path to least resistance. These chicks were generally easy to talk to and cool to party with, mainly because of their personalities making up for their “lesser points”. And, let’s face it, they weren’t getting as much attention as the hot chicks. You hardly came across an average, or even a fugly chick with a bad attitude. For a while I even dated(as friends with benefits) a chick with a cute face, but chubby body and big tits. It was great. There were no strings attached, she gave great BJ’s, almost always shaved downstairs, understood a man’s needs, and essentially, took care of me. Here’s the thing, though: This was in 2004-2005; right before the bar began to be lowered. It’s been all downhill ever since. Now, average chicks have egos bigger than the world’s tallest cell phone tower. Fat chicks think they’re “all that” due to fat acceptance and the fact that some losers are dumb and lazy enough to date their fat asses. They’ve got so much cellulite that it’s not even attractive anymore. Also, bad attitudes are now rampant among fat chicks because, for the most part, they’re not getting any attention or sex. They were sold a bill of goods during the fat acceptance movement that it’s okay to be fat(ter) and lazy. Now that they fell for that false hope, they are too lazy to do anything about it. See, this is how bad things have gotten. There’s now a scarcity of decent average women.

    • Capt. No-Marriage said

      What’s going on Andy! Man great fucking comment brother. Average chicks used to know they were average and actually tried to compensate for it!!! I mean fuck, things are so bad now that not even the fat women know how to cook! How the fuck does that happen??? Like you said, before you could find a decent chick with huge tits and she’d hang out to eat pizza, drink beer and let her huge tits hang out and flop around. Those days are long gone.

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