This is your Captain speaking…………Welcome aboard fuckers!!!

I just wanted to share some shit from the corporate world. The company I work for, let’s just call it Fortune 500 Fuckery, ticker symbol FFF. They have monthly re-education classes. Although I think they call it diversity training. Anywhore, it seems like every few months they have to do some class about women in the work place.

The company has already gotten rid of the title of “secretary” and replaced it with “administrative assistant”. Keep in mind that this is not a left leaning GoogleAppleSitOnMyFacebook tech company. If anything I’d say it’s heavily tradcon. Yet here we are, talking about how all of us can help women.

But first let’s review what the company actually does. They make it clear, if you want to go into management, have a degree. They don’t even care what kind of degree, seriously they don’t give two fucks. Oh I’m sorry Miss, you say you don’t have the money because you spent it all on makeup and handbags?  They offer tuition reimbursement and if you go to a community college the tuition is pre-fucking-paid!!!!

This is where they do what Rich Cooper (Entrepreneurs in Cars on da youtubes) calls “point and sputter”. This is where the excuses flow like diarrhea after spoiled burritos.

• I have kids! Once I say that you aren’t allowed to criticize me for anything!
• If I go into management I might have to move and my kids are so fragile due to my shitty parenting I don’t want to make them change schools.
• I have to take my non-athletic kids to soccer even though they hate it.
• I’m a single mommy who made a shitload of bad decisions, why stop now?

But seriously, I’m not saying college is a cure all. But if someone wants to move up in the company, they have a very clear, established, company funded path. Yet here we are with mandatory meetings to discuss women getting ahead………again.

If you find yourself in meetings like this at work, just sit there quietly. Use the time to check your stock holdings, real estate investments, bitcoin, or whatever other alternative stream of income you’re working on. Something to remind you that you aren’t always going to have to sit through these shitfests of stupidity.

You’re now free to skip class!