Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for the ‘avoid marriage’ Category

Knocking Up Some Skank Is NOT a Legacy

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 11, 2017


Welfare

This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!!

So back when I was struggling to stay ahead of the minimum wage, I’d hear a lot of bullshit ways of thinking. One of the worst was thinking that a guy needed to leave a legacy and by legacy they meant knocking some bitch up to have your kids. So this one goes out to my former warehouse and other low paid coworkers with shit jobs.

You’ve heard the bullshit reasoning behind this, continuing your family name and all that horseshit. That’s what it is, horseshit. What exactly are you continuing if you don’t have a pot to piss? Are you proud of your welfare heritage? Gotta keep that line for government cheese going? Supporting Section 8?

Legacy is when a hospital wing is named after you because you donated the money to build it. Legacy is a foundation you started to fund someone’s education. Legacy is NOT you being irresponsible and blowing a load in some hoodrat or trailer park queen and having her shit out another liability to society.

Legacy is the word guys who fucked up by knocking some bitch up use to try and make it seem like they were doing their duty to society. Well if you’re poor, you’re not doing a duty to anyone except people who love it when more and more dumbasses are dependent on the fucking government. You just created another person who will either suck off the government’s tit or end up in the prison system.  Way to go champ, you’re really leaving something behind.

This dumbass concept of false legacy is one of the major reasons the poor stays poor. For some reason poor people thinks it’s a good idea to create more people.

Fucking dumb!

You’re now free to actually do something to be remembered by.

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Men Love Fat Women

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 31, 2017


This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

I know a lot of the large and in charge hefties who claim that men love them just the way they are. They vary in fatness, from Jabba the Hut to the cute chick with a model face but a spare tire that is usually outclassed by her outrageously huge tits.  Their main claim is that men of course love fat women because look around, them and other women like them are able to get laid.

To me that’s like saying, since prisons are over-crowded, that must mean the rooms are really nice. The Ritz Carlton isn’t over-crowded, prison therefore must be nicer than the Ritz.

Let’s step back in time gentlemen, not too far, maybe the 80s, big hair, cocaine, Mtv actually played music.  I heard an older and wiser man say that in his day, the guys who played sports in school got the pretty girls and the rest of us got the other ones but they weren’t bad since they usually had the body, just not the face.

My how times change. I can remember the end of that era. It’s not new, the guys with the most power/resources get to choose their mates, nothing new there since the dawn of time. But like the old guys said, the ones left were still pretty fucking good. I had a prom date that from the neck down could have been in High Society magazine, maybe even Swank if you included her face. She had zero chance of prom queen but she would have taken the prize for blow job queen, that bitch loved to practice!

Back then, average meant she had her shit together but she just wasn’t blessed with a playboy bunny face. Like a getting a hail damaged Lexus, it’s still a fucking Lexus.  Nowadays when a woman says she’s average that just means that she can walk around Walmart under her own power without using one of those scooters. I saw some shit where a chick who was a size 16 was calling her self average.

We’ve got that 200lb tub of a SI cover model trying to convince all the other fatties that she works out. Works out of a Burger King bag maybe.

The guys you see with fat women today are the same types of guys who had the average decent looking women 30 years ago. The problem is women have lowered the bar quicker than Michael Jackson was lowering little kids pants.

Yes, there are a TON of guys with overweight women, show me the guys who are with a fat chick and are happy about it. Show me the guy who is with a tubster and wouldn’t trade her big ass in faster than a used Ford Tempo is his income suddenly doubled. You can’t because that guy doesn’t exist.

“But if the guy didn’t like it he wouldn’t be there….”

Let me clear that shit up right now, humans are lazy, it’s our nature to take the path of least resistance. Fat chicks are the path of least resistance when it comes to pussy. Yeah, spoiler alert, fat girls are easy. Rub your cock in chicken grease and let the magic begin.

Some of you guys actually got one of the decent ones, SCORE…………oh wait….it was bait and switch, after the marriage she just packed on the comfort weight. Apparently it took her 80lbs of extra weight to be comfortable. Lucky you.

The only thing that will change this is some type of SHTF (that’s for my readers who are preppers) scenario where food isn’t readily available at women’s fat fingertips. When we are forced to go back to a more primitive way of life where the slowest one of the bunch is the one who dies, that’s when shit will change. Until then if you want to fuck an American woman you better strap on the beer goggles, hell make it the Everclear goggles, beer just isn’t cutting it anymore with these bitches.

You’re now free to do shots of Everclear

Posted in avoid marriage, Marriage, marriage sucks, women, women's studies | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

#Truth

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 11, 2017


truth

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

In Case You Forgot…

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 2, 2017


marriage-trap

 

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Work From Anywhere!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 18, 2016


This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers!!

Don’t worry about the title of this post, I won’t be trying to sell you on the latest MLM to come down the pike.  I am going to take a minute to offer some drunk advice that can apply to any age but especially for the 20-somethings.

I don’t have to tell you that it’s easier than ever to have some kind of income producing business online.  You’ve probably already read countless articles and watch youtube videos about all the benefits of not having a 9-5 and being tied to a job at a specific location.

Well here’s one benefit all the gurus probably failed to mention.  It’s a way to make sure you never get stuck having some broad’s hand in your wallet.  This isn’t about manning up or any of that bullshit.  I’m talking about you keeping your money and not paying it to some chick you banged, even if you were dumb enough to marry the bitch.

If you have a regular job here in Merica, the nanny state will ass rape you in the public square and garnish your wages.  Your employer will gladly go along with the scheme because at that moment they know you’re fucked and even more of a slave to the company than you were before.

However, if you make your money online you don’t have to have any connections to the US.  You can smile at the judge, not say a word and pick up your shit and move.  No you don’t have to live with pirates in Somalia, there are plenty of desirable places you can park your ass and your money out of reach from money-grubbing bitches.  I’m not going to list them because…..well…….Google.

What I’m saying is even if you don’t have to use the nuclear option of leaving the country to avoid paying some broad it still gives you freedom.  Even if you just have a skill that can be used in another country.  I know this sounds totally crazy to some people but if you ever find yourself in a courtroom and the judge is telling you how much you are going to be paying in alimony to some chick, possibly for life, it won’t sound so fucking crazy then.  It doesn’t sound crazy to the guy who isn’t seeing his kids because his ex called 911 on him before he even got home from work and found the police waiting for him.  It doesn’t sound crazy when suddenly it becomes your only option to live a decent life.

You’re now free to move about the globe.

Posted in avoid marriage, money, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Warning Label

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 4, 2016


What’s up fuckers!  Found this oldie but goodie.  Enjoy

msds-for-women

 

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

Merica

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 7, 2016


rosie.jpg

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, Uncategorized, women's studies | Leave a Comment »

Chick Leaves Marriage….but ONLY after Shitting out a Kid

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 27, 2016


This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Not that this will surprise anyone who reads this blog, but over at the Suckington Post they have a story from a single mom……big surprise…….talking about how having her son gave her the strength to leave her husband.

Yes after years of marriage it wasn’t until she shat out a womb turd that she “realized” that her husband was verbally and emotionally abusive.  No folks not until she had locked down that 18+ year annuity did she realize she needed to leave her marriage.  Funny how that shit works.

She mentioned that she grew up with two parents but for some reason she decided on her own that her son didn’t need that.  No like most Western women she has decided that she’ll raise him to be perfect little gentleman, nothing like the guy she spent so much time spreading her legs for.

But that’s not all folks…………if you wander down to the comment section you’ll see several women say that they could have written the same dumbfuck story.  Isn’t that special?

Also throughout the story she makes sure to reference the kid as HER son, as if she had some sort of virgin birth.  She also mentioned how she didn’t have much money and would have to work……..brace yourselves……FULL TIME……..gasp!!!  A woman working full time, what kind of sorcery is this?  That poor little princess!!

It’s stories like this that I wish I could sit down with the guy and get his side of the story.  Like how he probably worked his ass off to support her and how the “abuse” was actually her constantly bitching about him working to take care of her and how marriage wasn’t the fairy-tale she thought it should be.

This is just one of thousands of examples of what marriage has become today.  Marriage is a shit sandwich for guys and that’s probably an insult to shit sandwiches!

If you guys aren’t tuning into the Tom Leykis show to catch the family law hour every other Tuesday, you need to start.  Or if you’re a lazy fuck like me, just subscribe and listen to it whenever, that segment alone is worth the money!  They talk about crazy shit like this all the time!

I just don’t know what else to say, that article is pure fuckery and so are the majority of women.  Just use em and lose em.  That’s all you can do and as they say in the UFC…”Protect yourself at all times”

You’re now free drink about the cabin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Remider

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 15, 2016


What up fuckers!  This is your Captain speaking!

Quick one here as we get ready for another week of kicking ass and drinking beers.

Stay focused on YOUR shit. I know that’s hard to do. You go to work and the rest of the sheepfuckers at your company are just trying to make it one more year so they can get that extra week of vacation.

You can’t confide in these fucks. Trust me, it’ll do more harm than good, especially if they see you making progress. If they see you as that crab in the bucket trying to make a leap for the rim, they’ll latch on to you and pull your ass back down to their level so fast it’ll make your nuts ache.

Just keep doing your shit under the cover of darkness and when the day comes just leave with a huge smile on your face and whisky on your breathe.  In the meantime, keep on fuckin!!!

You’re now free to ditch the 9-5.

 

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, money, Uncategorized | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

Fuck Marriage

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 10, 2016


fuck marriage

Posted in avoid marriage, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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