Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 18, 2016
This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!!!
Holy fucking shit!!! I was fully expecting to be under the reign of Queen Hillary come next year. Don’t get me wrong, the nanny state will still no doubt get bigger, it’s just what governments do. We’re fucked in that respect.
But damn, look how the SJWs, feminists and pretty much everyone the left has just lost their fucking minds. I mean the poor little things, they’ve never had to deal with loss before. What happened to the participation trophy?
Now I see stories about white people wearing safety pins to designate themselves as safe people to talk to or some bullshit. Why? Well……….you might want to sit down for this…….there are bad people out there. Yeah, who the fuck knew. Apparently they were all sitting on their hands until the election, they were sitting at home canning vegetables for the long winter ahead. Until Trump won, then suddenly they all came out of the woodwork and are now threatening anyone who isn’t a straight white male.
This is seriously some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Am I saying there aren’t racists and shit out there, of course not. I’m saying they’ve been there all along but Generation Snowflake thought all their FaceBook likes and boycotts were actually doing something. I mean fuck, why actually do something when you can change your profile picture?
Welcome to our world snowflake, where the system is fucked and so are you. How much of a fucking pussy to you have to be to actually be depending on a certain candidate to get elected. Ok, if you work in DC, different story. But you know what the fuck I’m saying, all these fucks on social media talking about how fucking scared they are now. How dark times are coming. Bunch of fucking twats!
I didn’t vote for Trump, ever since the Libertarians said they want to legalize hookers and blow, I was in! Now, have I cried or rioted the past several elections when my guy NEVER wins………no, I voted, I drank……sometimes not in that order………and I went about my fucking life because I am the one who determines my fate, not some old fucks in Washington.
Grow up snowflakes, this is the real fucking world where there are winners and losers and you fucks are losing.
You’re now free shove a safety pin up someone’s ass.
Posted in Captain No Marriage, Politics, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: black lives matter, clown lives matter, election, Hillary, porn, protests, riot, Trump | 2 Comments »
Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 22, 2013
This is your Captain speaking…..welcome aboard fuckers!!!
Title says it all……do you date coworkers?
Most of us probably have at some point. I did when I made a lot less money, now I’d never risk it.
Some of my peers think I’m crazy because of "all the hot women at work", but unless you work at strip club or a Hooters, chances are there aren’t as many hot prospects around as you might think. Think I’m crazy, check this out…
Couple thousand people in my building, about 75% female, so about 75 women out of every 100 people. Well here in good ole Merica about 70% of adults are overweight or obese, so that leaves us with 23 women out of the 75 that aren’t fat. Of those 23, chances are half of them will be way past their prime, so you’d be lucky to have a dozen of the 23 that would be under 40. Of the remaining 12 half of them will be fucking ugly, might be a butter face or two in there if you’re lucky. So now we’re down to 6, of those six at least 4 or 5 of them will be either married or in a relationship. So for every 100 people I see, one possibly two might be available to fuck, maybe not even one or two if you weed out for mental health issues. Yes my math is probably fucked up but you get my point fuckers.
Another thing that leads to this misperception of our workplace teeming with pussy is the fact we tend to stay in our own areas. So we might have 3 or 4 hot women in our department, we see them all the time and it leads our minds to think we’re surrounded by beauty when all we’re really doing is blocking out the fatties and ugly broads and focusing on the couple half-way decent looking broads.
What I’m saying is it’s not worth your job to go hunting in an environment that isn’t even target rich, it’s actually target poor when you compare it to other venues. Even if you do score the hottest piece of ass at your job, what happens when you break up with the bitch or if she sees you talking to another chick about business but she assumes you’re fucking her because she’s bat-shit crazy and marches down to the HR department to file a sexual harassment claim? Pussy isn’t worth your career, hell it’s not even worth losing a piss poor fucking job over.
Trust me guys, don’t date bitches at work, don’t be fucking lazy and go for the low hanging fruit. It’s low hanging for a reason.
You’re now free shit in the recycle bin.
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Posted in money, Politics | Tagged: Captain No Marriage, career women, women's studies | 3 Comments »
Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 8, 2013
This is your Captain speaking, sorry about that landing in San Fran, but……….Welcome aboard fuckers!!!!!!!
Ok, you probably never expected me to support any kind of marriage but hear me out fuckers. Some of you probably already know my angle on this so here we go!!!!!!!
Listen, our family court system is FUCKED!!! We all know that, if you’re a man you might as well lube up your ass and grab your ankles because you will get royally screwed in court by your ex, the lawyers, the whole fucking system!!!
As we’ve talked about here and other people have brought up in other venues, the only time they change a law that’s unfair to men is when it affects the little women too. Just look at the case in Florida where the governor vetoed a bill that would have eliminated lifetime alimony. I mean we can’t have that now can we? What would the poor little gold-digging whores do?
So what we need guys is more bitches thrown on our side of the fence. What we need is a nice pretty young thing to get with some manly looking broad and the two divorce. It would be even better if they adopted a kid too, that way the manly bitch could get ass raped just like any man.
Things aren’t going to change until women start to feel the pain too, then it will suddenly become a national priority, there will be pages of editorials of how the system is broken and unfair.
I personally don’t give two shits who you’re fucking, this isn’t about gay, straight or sheep lovers. The marriage failure rate for gay people will be just as shitty as it is for the rest of us. So hang on to your butt plugs and rubber fists gay people because this is one ride that won’t make you explode with pleasure. You have just boarded the Shit Town Express!!!!
I’ve tried to warn the LGBT community that marriage was a shitty deal, but you fucks refuse to listen, so now I want you to get exactly what you’re asking for, because that’s the only way men will get what I’m asking for. The system is broken people, take off your Elton John rose colored glasses and try to see what the fuck I’m saying. Read the comments on this blog and others like it. You don’t want this.
However, since the gay community seems to think they know more than the rest of us, fuck em. I look forward to the day when some crying cunt in on the Today show talking about how her ex-wife took her for everything she owned. Welcome to our world cunt.
You’re now free to do whatever the fuck you want.
Posted in marriage sucks, Politics, women's studies | Tagged: adoption, alimony, american women suck, avoid marriage, captain, Captain No Marriage, cunt, editorials, Elton, failure, fists, Florida, Fran, fuck, fuckers, glasses, governor, John, Just, lawyers, LGBT, lifetime, Listen, lovers, Marriage, marriage sucks, Read, rubber, sheep, shit, Some, support, system, Town, venues, Welcome, wife, women | 6 Comments »
Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 20, 2012
This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!
So it seems a lot of women’s groups are up in arms over birth control and the conservatives are up in arms about fucking birth control. Everybody is talking about birth control. Of course nobody is talking about how men have pretty much zero choice when it comes to birth control. Wear a rubber or get sterilized, but you don’t hear us bitching.
And as far as the women bitching, most of the women bitching are either dried up and over the hill or they’re so damn ugly that nature has provided them with built in birth control aka their face. I mean seriously, how many attractive women under 40 even know who the vice president is? Ever try to explain politics or money to a chick? Waste of fucking time!
Anywhore……here’s my oversimplified and alcohol-fueled take on the situation. So Obummer wants to give birth control to poor bitches and of course use tax dollars to do so, right? Well ok lets run with this one. (I’m ignoring the religious mandate thing because I don’t give a fuck what the Pope says….and because I’m drunk.)
If the poor bitches have the kids then we have to pay the little cunt stains WIC, food stamps and fucking school lunches. Then their whore mom needs a bigger section 8 apartment along with other assistance to pay her utilities and of course a gov’t cell phone (yes they have those). Then when the little shitheads get in trouble because they don’t have a father figure around we have to pay for more juvenile detention centers.
That’s not fuck all folks!! When the fucking womb turds get older, drop out of school and start fucking up and breaking laws then we have to pay for more police police protection. Once the police start collecting these fuckers we have to pay for more judges and public defenders. Then we have to pay for more prisons to house these fucking fuck fuckers!!
To hell with politics on this one! Call me fuck crazy, but birth control sounds a hell of a lot cheaper!!
You’re now free to take the following action: If you’re walking through a parking lot and you see a baby seat in a car. Smash the window out Fight Club style, take the baby seat and leave a condom where the baby seat was.
*Special thanks to comedian Doug Stanhope
Posted in avoid marriage, money, Politics, Single mothers | Tagged: avoid marriage, birth control, Captain No Marriage, Fight Club, marriage sucks, women's studies | 3 Comments »
Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 11, 2011
This is your Captain speaking….welcome aboard fuckers!
Pink in the NFL, are you fucking shitting me?? God-fucking-damn!! Ok, so if us guys are so resistant to going to the doctor as the popular line goes, then why isn’t the NFL which has a predominately male audience address male issues. Or hell, no issues and just play fucking football!
You never see the fucking Lifetime or WE networks doing men’s health month. Yet the NFL is having their players wear pink, not just a little ribbon but pink all over the goddamn place.
Now remember when the players were wanting to wear red, white and blue apparel to remember 9/11? There was actually talk of players being FINED for wearing unauthorized gear. After some serious ass-dragging the NFL finally said that players would not be fined. So fucking nice to see where the league’s priorities are at, not with a national tragedy but with a health issue that affects only a small fraction of their demographic.
Now before some of you broads start yammering about how you luuuvvvv football, yes I realize that there are a tiny fraction of women who actually like the game. As in it’s something you’d turn on even if you were alone in the house.
Trust me, usually when it’s kickoff time most women conveniently like to fire up the vacuum, or decide that they need to have a serious conversation about some bullshit, or some other made up fucking emergency that just has to be taken care of right then.
NFL players wearing pink for a month while totally ignoring men’s health issues is just another example of the fucked up world we live in thanks to feminists and political correctness. We’re surrounded by pussy and not the kind you can fuck! Hey, here’s a fucking insane idea….How about we just let them play fucking ball, it’s not like most of you cunts are even watching! FUCK!!
You’re now free to wipe your ass with a pink ribbon.
Posted in Captain No Marriage, Politics, women | Tagged: avoid marriage, cheerleaders are easy, fuck american women, marriage sucks, nfl | 13 Comments »
Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 15, 2011
This is your Captain speaking…………………welcome aboard fuckers!
During my brief stint on Facebook (yes surprise surprise my account was deactivated), I engaged the femicunts on various ground-breaking issues such as why more women don’t look like my favorite porn star to abortion to sucking my cock. The abortion one really pissed them off. Forget where you fall on that subject for a moment and take a trip with me.
They were saying that a woman should never be forced to have a baby, they said that they should have a choice, blah, blah, blah. So I said that was such a fantastic idea that we should extend the same rights to men! Men should not be forced to be a father just like women shouldn’t be forced to be a mother. Yes, brilliant!
This sent these bitches completely batshit! They started using the same arguments that the prolifers use against them! They said the guy made the choice when he had sex, he should keep his pants on, they questioned my manhood etc…..they went right into the shaming language.
Suddenly these women were talking about how men and women were different! Well how goddamn convenient, you picked a fine time to not be equal Lucille!
Typical feminist line of bullshit, they only want to be equal. So I say give the people what they want! Give these bitches their fucking equality because as Paul Elam points out is this well thought out video, “equality is a cruel master”.
As usual, American women just want to be equal when it suits them. I guarantee that if women knew that THEY might have to be 100% responsible for a child then suddenly these women would start recognizing deadbeats, they’d remember to take their pill and they wouldn’t get knocked up just to try and keep the guy from leaving. They want us to take the gamble and hope that she didn’t forget her pill or that the condom doesn’t break. Fuck that, fuck them and fuck off!
You’re now free to look at pictures of female volleyball players.
Posted in money, Politics, women | Tagged: abortion, American, antichoice, antilife, avoid marriage, fuck marriage, marriage sucks, political, politics, prochoice, prolife, suck, thong | 4 Comments »
Posted by The Political Pirate on November 15, 2010
Posted in money, Politics | Tagged: Ben Bernanke, Congress, economy, fed, Federal Reserve, money, Obama | Leave a Comment »
Posted by The Political Pirate on October 29, 2010
I’m a third party kind of guy. I’m pretty much tired of the constant fucking up by both major parties. Not only that but I am guilty of actually going to the various candidates websites and actually reading what they stand for. Fucking insane isn’t it?
So to all those who like to say that unless you’re voting Repube or Demo-rat that you’re wasting your vote…….I say go fuck yourself.
Want to know who really is wasting their vote? The fucks who don’t vote, that’s who! Go talk to the nitwit who’s always bitching but isn’t even registered to vote. Or the asstard who bitches about local taxes going up but yet when you talk to them about voting they only vote in “the big elections”.
Now you know who does vote in every election? Old fuckers, that’s right because they have nothing else to do. Old fuckers only do two things, that’s vote and pass judgment on younger people. Is that really who you want making your decisions for you? Have you seen how they drive?
Go fucking vote. Show up drunk and/or high, I don’t give a shit, just vote.
Posted in Politics | Tagged: elections, Obama, politics, vote | 4 Comments »