Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for the ‘relationship’ Category

CrapGPT – More Dating Advice

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 28, 2023


This is your Captain Speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers.

Well our progressive AI engineers over at CrapGPT have another list filled with the latest stupidity the feminist world has to offer. I started with asking for 10 reasons a guy should date a feminist. As you can guess, the program went right to work and spit out 10 bullshit reasons, no lag, no wait, just shit them right out.

Then for the hell of it, I asked if there might be any reasons a guy would NOT want to date a feminist. This time I thought the tool had froze. I was expecting it to just return an error. It finally started typing out a response……..REALLY SLOW!! The servers must have been smoking, this thing was trying like hell to crank out something it’s feminist overlords would approve of. It eventually shit out the 5 reasons below……..

  1. Misunderstandings: Some guys may have misunderstandings or misconceptions about feminism, and may not want to date someone who identifies as a feminist because they believe that it means they hate men or are overly militant.

Wow……..I wonder where we get that idea from? I guess it’s just one big misunderstanding on men’s part. Surely we pulled this one out of our ass.

  1. Different values: Some guys may have different values or beliefs than a feminist partner, which can lead to conflict or tension in the relationship.

Yes some men believe we should act like men and women should be feminine. Some of us more radical guys also don’t like our kids mixing with drag queens or that there really differences between males and females.

  1. Different priorities: If a guy doesn’t prioritize gender equality or social justice in his own life, he may not be interested in dating someone who does.

Who in their right mind has social justice as a priority in their life? Social justice is just word salad that means too lazy to do actual work and make actual changes in the real world. These are people who think using a hashtag on a Twitter post is actually doing something.

  1. Fear of losing power or privilege: Some guys may feel threatened by the idea of gender equality and may fear losing power or privilege in a relationship with a feminist partner.

So fucking Skynet here is supposed to be the most advanced language driven thing since sliced bread. Yet just look at recycled and tired lines that don’t actually say a damn thing. What privilege does a guy have? It’s the woman who has the privilege of knowing she can call the cops and when they get there, it’s the guy who is spending the night in jail. She doesn’t even have to worry about getting in trouble for lying. Talk about privilege!

  1. Internalized sexism: Some guys may hold internalized sexist beliefs, which can lead them to view women who are outspoken or assertive as “bossy” or “difficult”.

How about some guys don’t want to come home to a “bossy” or “difficult” woman because it’s a miserable way to fucking live!!!!! Also these broads are never difficult about shit that matters. You’ll never meet a woman with a strong opinion which dividend stock to add to your portfolio but you’ll damn sure find plenty to bitch about where you take your shoes off or which towel you dry your fucking hands on. Imagine working on an oil rig and coming home to some bitch telling you that you put your shoes in the wrong place when you took them off!!!

This shit is being woven into tomorrow’s technology. Which is nothing new, sitcoms have been making fun of men for decades now and the old movies and shows with masculine men are pretty much done with.

It’s only a matter of time before some politician decides to solve the teacher shortage with AI tools like this. The perfect progressive teacher. One who can literally rewrite anything that doesn’t fit the narrative of the day. Or right out of school, welcome to your entry level job, you now report to a computer who will make sure you color within the lines here a FU Corp.

You’re now free to move about the interwebs.

Posted in Politics, Red Pill, relationship, Uncategorized, women, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Feminist AI? The ChatGPT Chronicles

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 24, 2023


This………..is………your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!

What the hell is up fuckers! I’ve been lurking around on youtube, just commenting. No vids as of yet but it’s been fun commenting.

So I’m sure most of you have heard of ChatGPT, aka “Skynet”. Anywhore, it’s actually got some legit uses for things like help with debugging code. However, I decided to have it help with some content. Keep in mind guys, these programs might be advanced but they will still have the bias of the people who made them. This post is probably the first of many where I explore how the feminist narrative has infected even AI. I started by asking Skynet to give me ten reasons a childless man should date a single mother. So grab your poison and let’s tear Skynet a new ass. I’ll post below the “article” it gave me with my drunken commentary.

Here are 10 reasons why single childless men should consider dating single mothers:

They are independent: Single mothers have to juggle various responsibilities such as raising their children, working, and managing the household. As a result, they have learned to be independent and self-sufficient, which can be attractive qualities in a partner.

Independent? Yeah sure if you don’t count the shit-ton of govt assistance they get, along with child support and huge tax refunds just because they shit out a kid. Ok Skynet, you’re off to a blazing fucking start here.

They are nurturing: Single mothers have experience in nurturing and caring for children, which can translate into being caring and nurturing partners as well. They have also learned how to be patient and understanding, which are qualities that can be appreciated in a relationship.

If they are so fucking patient then why can’t most of them be patient and marry before they carry?

They are responsible: Single mothers have to be responsible for the well-being of their children, which can translate into being responsible and reliable partners as well. They know how to prioritize and make decisions that are in the best interest of their family.

RESPONSIBLE?!?!?!?!!! Are you fucking shitting me Skynet? A woman who has unprotected sex and craps out a kid out of wedlock is responsible? And what in the blue fuck is that last line about…….best interest of their family? Most divorces are filed by women, is that in the best interest of the family? Holy fuck, I should have only asked for 5 reasons, I may blow a gasket by the time we get to number ten.

They are mature: Single mothers have gone through the experience of raising a child, which can often result in them being more mature than their childless counterparts. They have had to deal with challenges and overcome obstacles, which can give them a unique perspective on life.

Mature? Having a kid out of wedlock or divorcing the child’s father is mature? Notice how this “reason” is a slight towards guys who have made good decisions and haven’t just gone around reproducing with anyone willing.

They are loyal: Single mothers are often fiercely loyal to their children and their families, which can translate into being loyal and committed partners as well. They understand the value of relationships and the importance of sticking together through thick and thin.

Over 3/4 of divorces are filed by women and this fucking fembot wants to say they’re loyal????

They are good listeners: Single mothers often have to be good listeners in order to understand the needs and concerns of their children. This can translate into being good listeners in a relationship as well, which is an important quality for any partner.

No they are not good listeners because if you talk to any single mom long enough she’ll tell you about how there were people in her life who tried to tell her not to get with the guy that smashed, dashed, and left her with a kid(s). Yet, Miss Independent ignored that advice.

They are adaptable: Single mothers have had to adapt to various changes and challenges in their lives, which can make them adaptable and flexible partners. They understand the importance of being able to adjust to new situations and circumstances.

They are adaptable as long as there is some kind of govt assistance to help them along.

They are financially responsible: Single mothers often have to manage their finances carefully in order to provide for their children. This can translate into being financially responsible partners as well. They understand the importance of budgeting and saving for the future.

What the actual fucking fuck! Financially responsible? A lot of single moms have to trade sex for getting the light bill paid. If they are so good with money, then how come so many of them qualify for Section 8?

They are empathetic: Single mothers have had to deal with their own share of challenges and difficulties, which can make them empathetic partners. They understand what it’s like to struggle and can provide emotional support and understanding when needed.

Most women, especially younger ones, cannot see past their own nose. This is a scientific fact proven by NASA.

They are great communicators: Single mothers often have to communicate effectively with their children, which can translate into being great communicators in a relationship as well. They understand the importance of clear and honest communication, which can be a valuable asset in any relationship.

Translation: They are good liars.

In conclusion, single mothers can make great partners for single childless men for a variety of reasons. They are independent, nurturing, responsible, mature, loyal, good listeners, adaptable, financially responsible, empathetic, and great communicators. If you’re a single childless man looking for a partner, don’t overlook the possibility of dating a single mother.

In conclusion, ChatGPS aka Skynet doesn’t know what the fuck it’s talking about. Now I did ask for a counterpoint argument and much to my surprise it actually gave me 10 reasons but…………it was still slanted towards the single mother. Big surprise. Anywhore, I’ll be hitting up Skynet with more questions until it either bans me or starts WWIII.

You are now free to drink about the cabin and avoid baby mamas.

Posted in Marriage, marriage sucks, Red Pill, relationship, sex, Single mothers, Uncategorized, women, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Supermom…..After the Fact

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 14, 2022


They say blogging is dead, I don’t give a fuck.

This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!

So grab your poison of choice and join me as we look at shit I see on my FaceFuckBook page. You probably see this fuckery on your social media as well. And here we go!!!!!

Some of my “friends” online are simply people I knew back in high school and wouldn’t finger fuck them if I ran into them at a brothel. Nor would I recognize them. However some of these fucks provide a ton of laughs. One of these fuck cunts is a younger sister of a buddy of mine, a chick who has never been married but has managed to shit out two government subsidized womb turds from two different guys.

You know someone like her, all the posts about her kids and how they are “her world”. Constantly patting herself on the back for what a great mom she is! Except…..something is missing. Oh yeah, the dads. Of course there are endless posts about how both dads are complete pieces of shit.

I’ll give her one thing, she’s right with everything she says about the dads. They are losers, they are pieces of shit. However……..it was obvious they were a POS the day she met them. These guys weren’t running some bait and switch operation.

Baby Daddy #1

Multiple convictions. Most law enforcement depts now have a jail search feature including the one where Supermom lives. A simple search the day she met him would have brought up multiple pages of mugshots and past charges. But…….we all know Supermom’s kryptonite is FACTS. So no interest there. Even though she later admitted they met the night after he got out of jail she must have known he was a keeper and hence no birth control.

Baby Daddy #2

Ok fuckers. There’s about 6 years between dad 1 and 2. So Supermom had been posting online about what a great mom she was and what a POS dad 1 was. Then enter bady daddy number two. Now after basically finding her first kid’s father off the show Cops, our hero Supermom has learned her lesson right? After all, Supermom worked in the medical field and was surrounded by doctors. Surely she found a decent guy now that she “knows better”, right????

WRONG!!!! Baby daddy #2 was/is a convicted sex offender. Let me rephrase that, he’s a pedophile!! Yes you read that right. Not just charged or accused, but look the fucker up on a watch site convicted pedophile. That’s the guy that Ms I Work In the Medical Field decided to let raw dog her. And the punchline is the kid diddler actually left her! She was wanting to get married!!!!!!!

But guys, that’s all in the past right? Now she’s Supermom and her kids come first. Now granted she wasn’t giving two shits about her future kids before they were born, I mean who does that? What kind of woman actually thinks about what kind of father and role model she wants for her kids????? Certainly not today’s modern empowered woman! Damn sure not Supermom!

Today Supermom is closing in on 40 but I wouldn’t be surprised if she squeezed out a retard before her last egg completely turns to dust. Her first kid is borderline special needs and she had it when she was younger, so I’m sure those eggs have a lot more cracks in them now.

But hey, listen to her now and she is ALL about her kids!! She’ll let you know that her kids and her are a package deal buddy!!!!! A rotting, leaking, smoldering shitfire of a package…….but a package. Give her a minute of your time and she’ll gladly bend your ear about how bad her exes are (that she picked) and what a saint she is.

After all, when you need to raise the next generation of prison inmates who do you call?????

SUPERMOM!!!!

You are now free to drink about the cabin.

Posted in Captain No Marriage, Red Pill, relationship, sex, Single mothers, women, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Classic Leykis

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 30, 2020


“Women are dream killers” ~ Tom Leykis

A lot of truths in this video from Mr. Leykis. Opportunity is out there, don’t weigh yourself down.

Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, money, Red Pill, relationship, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Red Pill Moment – One of Many

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 23, 2020


This is your Captain speaking, drinks are on the house. Welcome aboard fuckers.

I know I’ve written about this before, but because I always half-ass title my posts there’s no chance of my finding it. However, it’s been a few years and quite a few beers since that post so here’s a little more reflection on a moment that helped wake me up from my plugged in slumber.

Some of you no doubt have similar stories where you’re career is going great, your fitness is on point and you start getting interest from women your own age. You start getting DMs on your social accounts from women you knew years back, maybe in high school, just wanting to say hi or tell you that you are looking great these days. OMG what’s your secret? You haven’t aged a bit!

Let’s be honest, it’s a nice ego boost. Chicks are hitting you up without you having to do anything. The most dangerous ones are the ones you went to school with because we tend to think of them as if we were still in school. Which is inaccurate to say the least. But our brains just go back to when we last knew them. Back to when we were still figuring out this getting laid thing and working our ass of for every base we passed.

So I had one of these sirens hit me up with the usual hey how you been, we need to hang out line. We met for drinks, then back to her place where her legs parted like the Red Sea at the wave of my hand. This started a string of encounters in various public places such as an alley, a boat ramp, and pretty much any place where she could pull her skirt up.

Now for this chick’s rap sheet:

  • Single mother
  • 3 kids, 2 living with her.
  • 2 different fathers, neither pays child support
  • Working a shitty low paying job

While she was decent looking and seemed in fair shape, that was mainly because her shitty job required a lot of walking and moving around. A job no doubt she was looking to “retire” early from as soon as she could find a human wallet.

One particular night while we were out having drinks that she was paying for (she was definitely on her best behavior) she told me she had a confession. She “confessed” that she always thought I was cute and had a crush on me since high school! She said she wished I would have “made a move” back then. Ohhh what a glorious life we could have been living all these years………

Wait……..she wishes I would have tried? I “tried” all through high school. Not in a one-itus kind of way. I found my niche and was dating other girls, but I was still trying with her every fucking chance I got! Hell I even tried a few times after we graduated. Lack of game back then, of course, but damn sure not for a lack of trying. This bitch was lying to my face and no amount of blue pill rationalizations could counter that. I had rediscovered Tom Leykis a year or so before this and all I could think of was “he was right”. It wasn’t just a radio stunt. He wasn’t just a pissed off old man and even if he was, he was dead on about a lot of stuff. He was no doubt dead on about how women from your past will suddenly have a change of heart.

There wasn’t any mental struggle either trying to justify or rationalize. I didn’t think man I should have tried harder or any of that shit. Some would call it a moment of clarity. Whatever it was, it saved my life.

It sounds like complete bullshit but this was one of those moments where things feel like they’re happening in slow motion and you’re in complete control. I knew how she wanted this to play out so I told her that she was right and that we should finish our drinks so we can get out of there and start making up for lost time. Like most single moms she arranged her dates to go along with when the kids wouldn’t be home. So I took her back to her place and plugged every hole she had. This continued until she needed to “talk” and wanted to know where this was going. After all, she doesn’t have time to waste. I LJBF’ed her (let’s just be friends) and stopped responding to her messages.

And THAT was the Red Pill moment for me. That was when I saw the lights flicker and this blue pill voyage I was on had just hit an iceberg and it was starting to sink. This was still before I read “The Game” or any other game or red pill type of content. I did dive even more into Leykis and started noticing other areas he was right about. I know he’s not as relevant to guys today but back when he had his radio show he was the only one kind of in the mainstream pointing shit out as far as PC culture and feminism. I think for a lot of guys Tom Leykis was the gateway drug into the manoshpere and red pill content. For that, I say thank you Tom.

You’re now free to drink about the cabin.

Posted in Red Pill, relationship, sex, Single mothers, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

You Can’t Spice Up A Turd

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 14, 2014


real woman's ass

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Last time I got hammered I wrote down some advice for my three female readers.  Well here I am again with one more golden nugget for the girls.  I’m filling in the blanks for the broads out there, so listen up!

If you live long enough you’re bound to hear broad talking about her failing relationship and how she “worked” to make things better.  One often touted method of “working” on things doesn’t actually involve any work at all.  I’m talking about lingerie.  Women talk about how they dress sexy for their husband without any regard how they’ve let themselves go.

What you ladies need to understand is while men like a woman in lingerie, it needs to be said….since most of you are obviously slow…..we like HOT women in lingerie.  Check out the picture above, most me have some version of what we consider hot and that’s what we picture. 

So what happens when you squeeze your ass into something you just picked up off the clearance rack at Adam and Eve???  Well a couple things, first off it’s a stark reminder of how far you’ve let yourself go from the time we first met you.  So if you’re confused as to why your husband used to love you in something skimpy and now he vomits at the mere site of you, that’s why.  You just reminded him of how you ran the old bait-n-switch on him.  average woman

Here’s the other scenario that happens, you were never hot to begin with yet you are under some notion that your guy thinks you’re beautiful when the truth is your guy dropped out of high school and is a loser with few choices.  So you wear you’re little lace outfit but instead of looking like one of the hot chicks on Instagram you look like someone tried to strangle a giant squid with a garden hose.  Good job there Sally, you just basically rubbed your man’s nose in shit, as if he didn’t already know you’re ugly (hence the fact he has to be either high or drunk or both to fuck ya) now you just reminded him of that fact in bold, loud, living color.

So for those of you who want to actually work on your relationship, why not try doing the shit you did to trick him in to marrying you in the first place, like looking hot and blow jobs.

You’re now free to piss on a giant squid.

Posted in Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, relationship, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

You’re Just Afraid of Commitment!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 18, 2012


shouting woman won't shut up

This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers!!!

How many of us have heard that fucking line before?  All of us probably.  What makes it even more laughable is when the bitch making the accusation is actually the one who has no clue what a real commitment is!

I bet most of us have heard this from some piece of ass whose resume could fit on a post-it note.  No career, no education, nothing going for her except maybe her looks and she has the fucking nerve to tell you that you don’t know what commitment is.

janeI even had one of the slopholes I’m banging try this tired old line when she wanted to be exclusive and I said hell fuck no.  This broad is still waiting tables at age 29, no education, no retirement, no accomplishments to speak of but yet she wants to tell me that I am afraid of commitment.  Jane you ignorant slut!

Newsflash cunts, it takes commitment to build a business, it takes commitment to get attend graduate school full time while working full time, it takes commitment to get up every goddamn morning and go to the fucking gym, it takes commitment to start out at the lowest level of a company and work your way up.  Hell that’s why you don’t see a ton of women at the heights of power in the corporate world, because it takes REAL commitment, REAL work!  Something most women want to avoid at all costs.  They’d rather just spread their legs and pop out a few snatch monkeys then live off the child support and government assistance.

How many of you guys out there bust your ass day in and day out, then some hole you’re fucking tries to run some bullshit mind games on you by telling you what you’re afraid of?  The only thing we’re afraid of is getting fucked over by some broad and the family court system. 

Ladies we’re not afraid of commitment, we just don’t like shitty business deals and that’s all you’re offering!  If you can’t even commit to finishing community fuck college then who the hell are you to tell someone else they are afraid of commitment?

Fellas, the next time some bitch says that phrase to you, just laugh in her fucking face and kick her the fuck off your roster.  Enough of putting up with their bullshit!

You’re now free to laugh in some cunt’s face

fake titters and flag

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, relationship | Tagged: , , , | 6 Comments »

Come Get YOUR Son!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 25, 2012


your son

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!!!

So how many of you have heard that line “Come get “your” son”?  I’d bet most of us either know about this first hand or have seen it play out with a close friend or family member.  Here’s how the shit often plays out.

You’re an average guy and you’re just banging some chick just to pass the time until something better (thinner) comes along.  Then she gets knocked up and being the average (nice) guy you fall for that do-the-right-thing bullshit, this is of course after you try to convince her to have an abortion.  

But as I said before, this isn’t your dream girl, this is just some broad you’re banging until you finish college, get promoted or just decide to upgrade.  So you’re not really thrilled to be there in the first place but you hang in there for a bit, maybe even for a couple years or so. 

Then the moment comes when you just can’t take it anymore, you’re tired of looking at her big fat ass, you’re tired of being told what a piece of shit you are, you just tired of everything about that fucking cunt!  Young insane woman with straitjacket looking at camera close-up portrait

So you leave…..BUT……you still try to do right by the child.  However, this where Super Cunt really shows up.  She tries to use the kid to get you to spend time/money with her.  When she finally realizes her bullshit games aren’t working then she goes into revenge mode.  That’s when she starts telling the kid stuff like daddy doesn’t love you or daddy loves his new girlfriend more than you.  She’ll make up anything and everything to make her look like a martyr and you look like the devil’s asscrack. 

During this time she will let you know every chance she has that the kid is “Her son” and that in her feeble mind she’s the master of the universe.

This works great for her until the kid reaches his teenage years.  That’s when the shit hits the fan.  That’s when the kid’s mind is so fucked up from all the lies and bullshit she’s been pumping into his head starts to come back and bite her in big fat saggy ass.  This is when he becomes “too much to handle” and now she just wants to ship him off to you so that you can deal with the monster that she created.

It’s here that I have to give a shoutout to a buddy of mine going through this right now.  We’ll just use his nickname, Dick Trickle (yes he’s a NASCAR fan).  Our buddy Dick told his ex-piece-of-ass a firm HELL NO!  He said he isn’t a fucking janitor and he’s not about to come in and try to clean up her mess.  He told me that when the kid gets older and moves out he’ll make an attempt to contact.  If the kid chooses to listen then good, if he’s too messed up from his mother’s bullshit then oh fuck well, she got exactly what she wanted.  He said he got so fucking tired of her telling him to “man up” every time he refused one of her insane demands that now it was time for her to “woman up”

Now some people may not agree with how Dick is handling this, (I for fucksake agree with it) but considering that he is not the one created this mess it’s hard to blame him.  Especially when he tried to have regular contact early on.  Maybe if she would have followed the advice of my good friend Scarecrow and “Showed Dick some respect” she wouldn’t be in this predicament.

So let this be a lesson not just to the guys about knocking chicks up but also to the women out there who think that it’s ok to pump your kids’ heads full of bullshit about their father.  Even if the guy is the worst POS in the world, maybe you should look at yourself and figure out why you decided to have a child with someone like that.  Why don’t you explain to your kids why mommy loves to conceive with losers?  Truth hurts sweetheart.

You’re now free to drink alone….with nobody else.

Walker Black Label

Posted in Fathers, relationship, sex, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , | 7 Comments »

Everything Happens For a Reason…Right???

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 6, 2011


Divine_Intervention_by_dokodemo_nl

This is your Captain speaking…..welcome aboard fuckers!!

You guys send me come crazy ass links to stories, not to mention the crazy and even heartbreaking personal stories that yourself or a friend has gone through.  Be it a bitter divorce, insane women, child custody bullshit, there’s a lot of shit going on out there.  I think that we all would agree that the ones that hit us the hardest are the ones we witness ourselves, either personally or through a close friend.  Today I have one from a close friend who has agreed to allow me to share his story (he will of course remain anonymous so that the fuck crazy cunt can’t sue him!)johnny-walker-scotch

So let’s call my buddy Johnny, not to be confused with my other good friend Johnnie Walker, Johnny is separated from his wife and while going through the amazingly slow divorce process in our state we’ve been hanging out, drinking, banging broads, normal guy stuff.  Well he ended up meeting some chick that used to work with him.  The had worked together for about 6 years, but both were married at the time.  Johnny said that he always thought she was hot, but never pursued since they were both married at the time.

Pretty soon him and this gal were glued at the hip, but this was the happiest I’ve seen this fucker in almost 15 years!!!  So she looked like a nice piece of ass, she actually seemed to liked his friends…yes even me.  After dating several months she was constantly telling him that nobody had ever treated her as good as he treated her.  Fuck, red flag number one, a woman who is used to being treated like shit. 

From this point Johnny’s story sounds like one we’ve all seen or heard.  She starts heaping all sorts of admiration on to him, telling him how great he is, how lucky she is to be with him.  This is a sharp contrast from his marriage where his spirit and wallet were slowly broken down over the years.  So I’m not shitting on Johnny for getting caught up in this siren’s call.  But a siren call it was.

casey-anthony-hotOne thing Johnny was smart about was he got a vasectomy a few years back so that his wife couldn’t have any more “accidents”. 

Here’s where this turns into a classic story about your typical American woman.  A couple of weeks ago, we were drinking beer and watching some Sunday Night Football.  His phone starts to explode with text messages from her, frantic messages about her fucking up and being so in love with Johnny.  Next thing we know, there’s a knock at the door and guess who it is?

She’s standing at the door, makeup smeared from crying, wearing a dress cut so low that if she breathed too quickly her tits would fly out and so short that the least bit of movement revealed a bit of ass cheek.  They went outside to talk and when Johnny came back inside…alone, this is what he told me.

One of her ex-boyfriends was in town and gotten a hold of her, through FaceBook of course, they had been chatting for a while.  Yes, this is one of the guys who had cheated on her, did drugs and roughed her up in the paslut girlfriendst.  He happened to be at a local bar and invited her for drinks.  So she went and put on the skimpiest dress she owned and met him.  Oh did I forget that she had been texting and calling Johnny all day telling him how in love she was with him?  Yep, judging by her story and her texts she was telling my buddy how great he was about an hour before she was riding another guy’s cock.

But that’s not all folks!!!!  Hells no!  This shit is about to go Maury Show!!! Now she has just found out that she’s pregnant.  So not only did she dress like a slut, she wasn’t on birth control, she not only decided to have sex with a druggie, she had unprotected sex with the druggie and didn’t even attempt the pullout method. 

Being the self-righteous bitch whore that she is, she now thinks that he should forgive her and is telling him how much she needs him during this time,  because she’s scared.  I told him it was good that he found this out relatively early, that while fun to hang around, she’s a nothing but a common slut. 

This pissed him off of course until I asked him, if she’s not a slut then who is?  If a woman can tell one guy that she is sooooo in love with him, then an hour later be riding raw on top of another guy…if that woman isn’t a slut than what is?

The thing that gets me is that she is actually trying to shame him!  She even said that if he can’t stay with her then he’s a coward.  What?  Coward?  How about fucking he’s a normal human being who doesn’t like being shit on?  To her he shouldn’t bring this up because she admitted she made…..a mistake.  NO CUNT, you made a series of decisions!

knocked up bitchHe let me listen to one of the 6,000,000 voicemail messages that she’s left since dumping her where this bitch actually said…and I shall quote: “I believe everything happens for a reason, god is testing me…”

Look I’m not even fucking religious but it pisses me off when people try to bring god into their fucked up decisions!  Although she is right about one thing, this did happen for a reason.  It happened because she made the decision to not be on any form of birth control, she made the decision to communicate with other guys (if they admit to one, put a zero on it to get the real number of guys she’s talking to), then she made the decision to bang this guy without even using a condom.  Yes honey, shit does happen for a reason and in this case the reason is that you are a fucking slut.  I can’t even call her a whore, at least a whore values herself enough to have a price. 

So Johnny is pretty tore up about this, he said he’s disappointed more than anything.  He thought he really knew her, a mistake most of us have made at some point.  We give the benefit of the doubt to those who have not yet earned it.  Hang in there Johnny, I’ve got a humidor full of cigars and a fridge full of PBR.  We’ll get you through this!

You’re now free to join us for Sunday Night Football and PBR!!

SelenaSpice07KnockoutShorts

Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, relationship, sex, women | Tagged: , , | 7 Comments »

Bipolar? Not My Fucking Problem!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 3, 2011


Young insane woman with straitjacket looking at camera close-up portrait

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!!

Newsflash: Your mental condition, whatever it may be, is not my problem.  I am not giving you some kind of get out of jail card just because your mom fucked an abusive asshole and you to see some of bipolar-in-womenthe resulting action.

Guys, if she is having episodes of batshit crazy then that is nature’s way of telling you it’s time to get the fuck out!

Her mental problems are NOT yours.  You are not a bad person for not wanting to deal with a mentally ill person.  For one, they will drag you down in to their crazy fuck life. 

By the way, this includes women who act like a total cunt one week a month and then blame it on being hormonal.  That’s a sure red flag!!!pms warrior

Now guys, we’ve all been there back when we first started dating and didn’t have a lot of experience. We met some chick, looked good and shagged well!  But that’s not all!!!!!!!!!!

She’s unstable, but she constantly blames YOU!  Everything is your fault!  You don’t do this right, you don’t do that right, hell you can’t seem to do anything right!!!  What the hell happen to that hot cool chick you met just a few short months ago?  And when you’re young and inexperienced you might actually begin to wonder what’s wrong with you!  You might even begin to think you’re going fucking crazy!!!!!

But you’re not crazy, you’re just with a CRAZY bitch!!!

The last thing I want when I go on a date is to have to guess which fucking personality is going to show up.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if a woman mentions happy pills or if you spot head meds in her bathroom……………..RUN!!!  Run silent, run deep, just fucking RUN!!!

You’re now free to run a train on a day-shift stripper.

SelenaSpice07BlueSheer

Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, Marriage, marriage sucks, relationship, women | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

 
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