Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for the ‘Single mothers’ Category

My Kids Come First…After My Poor Decisions

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 19, 2015


This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!

Anyone else sick and fucking tired of all these wenches talking about how their kids come first?

Also have you noticed that many of these broads talking about this usually are single mothers who picked a loser to reproduce with, now they bitch about him being a loser?

The most important decision a woman can make is who the father of her children will be and most women completely and utterly fuck that decision up.  Don’t tell the everyone the kids are your world then five minutes later talk about how their father can’t come around because he has warrants out for his arrest.

If you truly gave two fucks about your womb turds you would have cared before you shit them out.  You would have made sure they had at least a fighting chance or at the very least you would have made sure the father had steady employment and wasn’t racking up frequent flyer points at the local jail.

But you didn’t do that, did you Supermom?  No you didn’t give a fuck who knocked you up.  So now we don’t give a fuck about you or any of your bullshit about how you put your children first.   Running around with 3 fucking kids with 3 different last names, you don’t give a damn about your kids.  You’re a waste of oxygen and definitely a waste of taxpayer money.

You’re now free to kick these bitches to the curb.


Posted in Single mothers, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Single Moms? No Deal!!!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 30, 2014

single mom

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Man, are there some delusional fucking bitches out there or fucking what!!!

I tell you what, when I say good-bye to the corporate world I definitely won’t miss all these bat-shit crazy women at the workplace.

There’s one skank in particular and I probably don’t even need to describe her, you could probably fucking guess.  Overweight…..hold up…she’s fucking fat, two kids from a loser on disability and she’s about to turn 30.

But wait folks, she is telling everyone who will listen (and anyone else in earshot) about how 30 is going to be the start of her new life.  Sure she wasted her 20s on some loser and even has the stretched out vag to prove it!  She’s decided at 30 to get her shit together…….well not really, but a girl can dream right?

As you might guess, the chorus of fat and fugly friends are telling her the same horseshit all women tell each other about how it’s not too late for her to find a great guy.  About how any guy would be lucky to have a woman like her.  She’s beautiful and if a guy can’t see that it’s his loss….

Are these bitches serious?  I know I see that shit all over social media too, where a butt-fucking ugly bitch posts a picture and all her fat and fucked in the head friends tell her how beautiful she is.  Personally I don’t think these bitches believe it when they tell that shit to other women, but ironically they actually believe it when it’s told to them.fat-woman-gym

So how about that awesome deal our over the hill and NFL sized gal has to offer some lucky white knight?  Wow, let’s start with the two bastard children who are both below the age of 10.  Hope you don’t plan on doing anything with your life for the next ten years Mr Lucky Guy because the only thing you’ll be doing is paying for kids who fucking hate you.  Think she’ll be getting child support? Doubt it, even if she does it’ll be the bare minimum and you won’t see any of it.  You better call your doctor for an appointment to get snipped because as Tom Leykis has been telling us for years, these skanks will get pregnant again, whether you want another womb turd in the house or not!!!  Let’s not forget the fact that loser she hates so much will be stopping by your house, or even better she’ll have to take the kids to him where she’ll be able to get some dick on the side for old time’s sake.

Let’s not forget that body of hers that is now wrecked because she gave her best years to some loser.  Oh sure she’ll tell you how she hates him, but just remember, he fucked her back when the pussy was actually tight.  She can’t even hold her piss now, good luck getting off.  I’m sure she’ll also tell you how now that she’s older and worn out, she’s now in her sexual prime even though her body and vagina aren’t even good enough to be in a salvage yard!

I could just go on and on forever about this awesome deal, but it’s safe to say that any guy who would get in line for a woman like that deserves what he gets.

Listen guys, it’s not your job to play cleanup when these broads fuck up their lives.  All you’ll end up doing is fucking up your own life.  Don’t even entertain the thought!

You’re now free to visit Thailand.



Posted in money, Single mothers, women's studies | Tagged: , , , | 6 Comments »

Pay For Your Own Dreams…..Cunt!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 4, 2013

welfare bitch

This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the other day I’m eating my lunch and at the table next to me is a group of 3 broads and one guy.  The broads are talking about one of their cunt friends who only makes minimum wage but wants a baby.  They were talking about what a GREAT idea this was.

Well the dude spoke up and asked how could someone support a baby on minimum wage because he was having a hard time just supporting himself on more than minimum wage.

Without batting an eye one of the fat pigs said that she wouldn’t have to worry because there were all kinds of government programs to help her loser breeder friend.  In other words, you and I have to pick up the fucking tab.

Talk about a sense if fucking entitlement!  The idea of actually working to achieve something just doesn’t cross these cunts pea-brained minds!  They expect someone else to foot the bill.

Of course their entitlement doesn’t stop there, once they shit out 2 or 3 welfare babies from 2 or 3 different guys…..that’s when they want to settle down with a nice guy.  That’s when YOU to pay the bill for their bastard womb turds and their big fat lazy asses!

It’s no wonder more and more men are opting for foreign women.  American women are nothing but a shit sandwich with extra shit!

Pay for your dreams of being lazy and crapping out kids?  Fuck you cunt, pay for it yourself!!!!

You’re now free to piss in a single mother’s face.

Posted in Captain No Marriage, Single mothers, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , | 9 Comments »

Who’s In Your Wallet???

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 23, 2012


This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!!!

So I wanted to take some time to speak to those of you who struggle just to keep the fucking lights on in your piece of shit apartment or shack of a fucking house that you’re renting.  Maybe you’re busting your ass to go to school and work full-time or you are just starting out in your career. Perhaps you’ve started your own business and haven’t started earning much yet.

This isn’t just going to be a post about how I’ve been where you are and hang in there and all that bullshit.  Although that is true.  What I want to address is a very specific landmine that you will encounter, probably many times, between now and when you get to where you want to be.

Right now you probably have an endless supply of single mothers and other chicks in need of some kind of fucking rescuing.  You need to do everything you can to avoid getting tied down with any of these bitches.  Stay focused on why you are going through all the hell and sacrifice right now to achieve your goals and dreams because that’s what they are, YOUR goals and dreams.  You are NOT going through all this shit just to subsidize some broad’s poor decisions.

What made me think of this was a guy we hired a while back where I work.  The guy is a veteran, he worked a blue collar job for a while and put himself through college.  Now he’s with a professional firm making a good salary, but fat bitchhe had to bust his ass to get here.  Like most firms we have administrative help that typically consists of uneducated women, many of whom are single mothers who now that they’ve been left with kids from some loser(s), they suddenly want to find some sucker to foot the bill.

This guy became involved with one such bitch who has two kids from two different guys, neither of which pay child support.  Go figure.  Anywhore, he starts dating this bitch and is basically being her Captain Save A Dumb Bitch Who Has Made Multiple Shitty Life Choices.  And yes I do mean multiple shitty choices, this broad is in debt, credit cards, evictions, repossessions, you fucking name it.  The only thing she brings to the table is a worn out vag, stretch marks, and a what was probably a nice body 10yrs ago but now is just a chunky shell of what was.

This fucking guy is riding in on his retarded white horse, forgetting all the work and sacrifice that it took for him to get where he is, forgetting all the things he was going to do and the lifestyle he wanted to live.  This guy is lowering his standard of living to prop up hers and clean up the mess that multiple guys left her with.  Guys that got to fuck her back when she was still hot!  He doesn’t even get that!  He gets the fupa and fatback!!

For me, I didn’t bust my ass to get where I am today to subsidize some freeloading cunt’s hopes and dreams.  I’m not going to drive a fucking Corolla or goddamn minivan just because some bitch got knocked up by a bunch of other guys and now she needs “help”.   Fuck that and fuck you bitch if you think I’m picking up your slack.  If you think I’m some kind of damn charity where my blood, sweat and tears will pay for the wages of your fuckery then you are sadly fucking mistaken!

Don’t even lose sight of why you are working your fucking ass off fellas, you are doing it for YOU!!  Not some disposable piece of ass.  You need to look out for number fucking one and never lose sight of that!

You’re now free to live the lifestyle you deserve and worked for.


Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers, women's studies | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Playboy Playmates are no Exception

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 26, 2012

90s playboy cover

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!

So the net and entertainment shows are a buzz about Jenny Mccarthy posing for play boy at just a few months shy of being 40.  So fucking what?  For one Playboy is notorious for their photoshopping and airbrushing skills.  We all know that when it comes to Playboy what we see is not what we get. 

And to all the old hags who look at Jenny and think that they too can still be Playboy hot at 40…….you dumb broads need to wake the fuck up.  Let’s do a quick comparison here. 

First Jenny back around 1993 when she was hot……

jenny mccarthy when she was hot

Now let’s look at over the hill Jenny.

jenny mccarthy now

Pretty clear isn’t it?  Yes even if I look at a more “flattering” picture of her one thing is clear……women do NOT get hotter as they age.  That’s why they try to rope you into marriage as soon as fucking possible with what little bit of looks they do have in their 20s.  They know that shit is short lived!

Although they don’t like to admit that they know it.  This is obviously a last ditch ego boost for Ms Mccarthy as the dives off the cliff.  Now I’m not saying that 40yr old Jenny isn’t worth a quick bone, but that’s all it’d be worth.  And the fact is she is in the top 1% of American women as far as looks, that’s the sad fucking part.  This is our fucking best and we still look like horse jizz next to the other countries.

So guys, no matter how hot your little girlfriend is now, take a good look, hell you better take lots of pictures too because as each day passes, so does her beauty.  That’s why she’s trying to lock you in with marriage and/or fucking rugrats.  Don’t fall for this smoke and mirrors donkey-show these broads are putting on.

The best thing guys can do with women is to treat them the same way Seal Team 6 treated Osama Bin Laden.  Go in under the cover of darkness, hit the target fast and hard, then fade off into the night sky. 

Ignore all the feel good bullshit out there, women do not improve with age.  Yes I know there are some porkers who don’t get off their ass and lose the weight until their 30s but if they hadn’t been so fucking lazy and lost the weight early on (or never gained it) then they would have been hotter when they were younger.  All women are hotter at 20 than at 40, yes they can still  be fuckable, but some of us drink a lot and therefore fuckable is a moving target.

You’re now free to hop into your hot tub time machine and go back and fuck Jenny Mccarthy when she was smoking hot. 

tits and hot tubs

Posted in Captain No Marriage, sex, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , | 12 Comments »

Come Get YOUR Son!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 25, 2012

your son

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!!!

So how many of you have heard that line “Come get “your” son”?  I’d bet most of us either know about this first hand or have seen it play out with a close friend or family member.  Here’s how the shit often plays out.

You’re an average guy and you’re just banging some chick just to pass the time until something better (thinner) comes along.  Then she gets knocked up and being the average (nice) guy you fall for that do-the-right-thing bullshit, this is of course after you try to convince her to have an abortion.  

But as I said before, this isn’t your dream girl, this is just some broad you’re banging until you finish college, get promoted or just decide to upgrade.  So you’re not really thrilled to be there in the first place but you hang in there for a bit, maybe even for a couple years or so. 

Then the moment comes when you just can’t take it anymore, you’re tired of looking at her big fat ass, you’re tired of being told what a piece of shit you are, you just tired of everything about that fucking cunt!  Young insane woman with straitjacket looking at camera close-up portrait

So you leave…..BUT……you still try to do right by the child.  However, this where Super Cunt really shows up.  She tries to use the kid to get you to spend time/money with her.  When she finally realizes her bullshit games aren’t working then she goes into revenge mode.  That’s when she starts telling the kid stuff like daddy doesn’t love you or daddy loves his new girlfriend more than you.  She’ll make up anything and everything to make her look like a martyr and you look like the devil’s asscrack. 

During this time she will let you know every chance she has that the kid is “Her son” and that in her feeble mind she’s the master of the universe.

This works great for her until the kid reaches his teenage years.  That’s when the shit hits the fan.  That’s when the kid’s mind is so fucked up from all the lies and bullshit she’s been pumping into his head starts to come back and bite her in big fat saggy ass.  This is when he becomes “too much to handle” and now she just wants to ship him off to you so that you can deal with the monster that she created.

It’s here that I have to give a shoutout to a buddy of mine going through this right now.  We’ll just use his nickname, Dick Trickle (yes he’s a NASCAR fan).  Our buddy Dick told his ex-piece-of-ass a firm HELL NO!  He said he isn’t a fucking janitor and he’s not about to come in and try to clean up her mess.  He told me that when the kid gets older and moves out he’ll make an attempt to contact.  If the kid chooses to listen then good, if he’s too messed up from his mother’s bullshit then oh fuck well, she got exactly what she wanted.  He said he got so fucking tired of her telling him to “man up” every time he refused one of her insane demands that now it was time for her to “woman up”

Now some people may not agree with how Dick is handling this, (I for fucksake agree with it) but considering that he is not the one created this mess it’s hard to blame him.  Especially when he tried to have regular contact early on.  Maybe if she would have followed the advice of my good friend Scarecrow and “Showed Dick some respect” she wouldn’t be in this predicament.

So let this be a lesson not just to the guys about knocking chicks up but also to the women out there who think that it’s ok to pump your kids’ heads full of bullshit about their father.  Even if the guy is the worst POS in the world, maybe you should look at yourself and figure out why you decided to have a child with someone like that.  Why don’t you explain to your kids why mommy loves to conceive with losers?  Truth hurts sweetheart.

You’re now free to drink alone….with nobody else.

Walker Black Label

Posted in Fathers, relationship, sex, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , | 7 Comments »

Bitch, You’re NOT My Dad!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 21, 2012

deadbeat mom

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!

So this past weekend was Father’s Day and I’m sure you fuckers have noticed the same trend over the years that I have.  Father’s Day has somehow become Single Cunt Can’t Find a Man Father’s Day.

The shit was REALLY bad on fucking Facebook.  The fucking anger some of these broads have is so deep that they can’t even entertain the thought that the reason their kids don’t have a dad is looking at them in the mirror. 

If a guy would have gone on Facebook on Mother’s Day and said happy mother’s day to all the women who don’t dump their kids off on someone else while they go to the club or to all the women not strung out on drugs………he would have been burned alive!

But even that is not what pisses me off the most.  What pisses me off the most is that about half of these Father’s Day comments are coming from fucking guys.  These goddamn pussies who never developed balls because their mom probably ran their dad off!  You know who I’m talking about, these are the same guys that when some warpig of a female posts some picture of her sweaty ass on her page, these motherfuckers give her 10 million likes and a bunch of comments about how good she looks.pussy motherfucker

These fucks never pass up an opportunity to kiss a woman’s ass, no matter how big and ugly that ass is.  They’re chasing pussy by trying to appease it, at some point you’d think they’d look at their lack of results and come up with a new plan.  Of course they don’t, they just keep putting bitches on pedestals and wishing them Happy Single Cunt Can’t Find a Man Father’s Day.

You’re now free to smack your bitch up.

F1 Babe

Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, Fathers, Marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Financial Hail Mary

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 6, 2012


This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!!

I don’t know about you fucking fuck fuckers but I’m getting tired of seeing stories like this where you have a professional athlete who makes millions of dollars only to be bankrupt the moment they step off the field.   Whether it’s the TO story like above or the recent stories of how 78% of NFL players are broke within 2 years of retiring, it’s fucking insane and I’m here to say that the main drain on these guys’ finances is NOT their fucked up spending habits, although that doesn’t help.  It’s getting fucked up with women.

Take TO for example, over $44,000 a goddamn month for child support?  Are you fucking shitting me?  So each bitch gets $11k a month just because she money grubbing bitchspread her fucking legs? Fuck you cunt, it doesn’t take that much to raise a fucking kid.  Get a fucking job of your own!!

Now these guys don’t just need financial education so that they understand how shit like interest works and to keep them from “investing” in every bullshit scheme that comes down the pike.  They need someone to come in and explain how the family court system works and show these fuckers just how much money they could end up paying some bitch.

They need to see guys who are out of the league but still have to pay their ex-wives tens or hundreds of thousands of fuck dollars each year even though they no longer make jack shit!!!

They need someone to remind them that THEY are the ones in charge of their lives and not to let some cum pond talk and whine and cry them into marriage or children.  These shit-stained hoes aren’t bring anything to the fucking table, these guys need to learn to tell these bitches to shut their fucking hole unless it has their dick in it.

Articles like this piss me off because they like to focus on the cars, houses and the bad investments these guys make.  Usually with shit like that the guy just pays cash for it.  It’s the ONGOING liabilities that fuck these guys.  Liabilities like fucking alimony and child support but the politically correct assfucks that write these articles are too fucking scared to call a spade a spade. 

Yes these guys tend to blow money on stupid shit.  Yes they listen to the wrong people, but if most of them weren’t paying outrageous motherfucking child support and/or alimony to some jizz jockey then they’d actually have some of their fucking money left.  I’d wager they’d have most of it left!

You’re now free to invest in another case of beer.


Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, money, Single mothers | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

Birth Control…..Cheaper Than Prisons

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 20, 2012


This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!

So it seems a lot of women’s groups are up in arms over birth control and the conservatives are up in arms about fucking birth control.  Everybody is talking about birth control.  Of course nobody is talking about how men have pretty much zero choice when it comes to birth control.  Wear a rubber or get sterilized, but you don’t hear us bitching. 

And as far as the women bitching, most of the womdeepthroaten bitching are either dried up and over the hill or they’re so damn ugly that nature has provided them with built in birth control aka their face.  I mean seriously, how many attractive women under 40 even know who the vice president is?  Ever try to explain politics or money to a chick?  Waste of fucking time!

Anywhore……here’s my oversimplified and alcohol-fueled take on the situation.  So Obummer wants to give birth control to poor bitches and of course use tax dollars to do so, right?  Well ok lets run with this one.  (I’m ignoring the religious mandate thing because I don’t give a fuck what the Pope says….and because I’m drunk.)

prisonIf the poor bitches have the kids then we have to pay the little cunt stains WIC, food stamps and fucking school lunches.  Then their whore mom needs a bigger section 8 apartment along with other assistance to pay her utilities and of course a gov’t cell phone (yes they have those).  Then when the little shitheads get in trouble because they don’t have a father figure around we have to pay for more juvenile detention centers.

That’s not fuck all folks!!  When the fucking womb turds get older, drop out of school and start fucking up and breaking laws then we have to pay for more police police protection.  Once the police start collecting these fuckers we have to pay for more judges and public defenders.  Then we have to pay for more prisons to house these fucking fuck fuckers!!

To hell with politics on this one!  Call me fuck crazy, but birth control sounds a hell of a lot cheaper!!

You’re now free to take the following action:  If you’re walking through a parking lot and you see a baby seat in a car.  Smash the window out Fight Club style, take the baby seat and leave a condom where the baby seat was.

*Special thanks to comedian Doug Stanhope

Posted in avoid marriage, money, Politics, Single mothers | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Single Mothers

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 13, 2012

Single mother

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, money, sex, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

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