Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Archive for the ‘Single mothers’ Category

Delusional Fucking Bitches

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 12, 2012

muffintop tattoo

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!

Man what the fucking fuck is wrong with women these days?  They are simply fucking delusional!  On so damn many levels!!

This shit has been going on for years.  I can remember way back when I had some bitch who thought she would be slick and try to sleep around on me and I busted her.  I of course dumped her ass and the first words out of this cunt’s mouth was “You’ll never find another woman like me”.  Really?  Well damn I sure was hoping I could rustle me up another cheating skank.  Sucks to be me!

These are the same kind of women who when you’re with them you’ll notice that all your arguments seem to focus on what you are supposedly doing to her.  Never about any of the bat shit crazy stuff she pulls, nope it’s all about YOU!  The world revolves around her vagina.

If you’re with a woman who likes to tell you what a “good” woman she is, fucking run!!!  If she truly is a good woman then you’ll fucking know without her telling you.

Does she tell you how lucky you are?  Again, this is like the good woman thing, best to fucking run now while you’ve still got your balls!

These women like to talk about all they have to offer but truth is that they bring nothing to the fucking table.  Well……….that’s not entirely true.  A lot of women bring a steaming pile of shit to the table and want you to believe it’s fucking steak!  They bring their emotional baggage, their fat fucking asses, their mental illnesses and of course they love to bring kids from other men into the mix.

Fuck you cunts.  American women are a pump n dump at best, most of the time they’re not even worth that.

You’re now free to smack a bitch at the table.


Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

This One’s For Da Ladies….

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 28, 2011

ASSume da position

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard you fucking fuck fuckers!!!

So over the weekend I ate at one of the most entertaining lunch venues around, a place where a guy can always look and laugh at the final resting place of most Ameriskanks, I’m talking about Rubychillifridaygardenlobsterhorn.  There you will always find some shrill and her friend at the bar, way past their prime complaining about men.  So I’ve decided to help them out and explain some shit to them.

Their issue?  Men only want one thing from them.  Sex.sagging old tits

Our subjects were in their late 30s or early 40s, you could tell that they used to be hot, but time and high mileage had clearly taken it’s toll.  And these aren’t the older women you see in the gym that actually have a decent body, oh no these two birds were just trying to get by with stuffing their sagging tits into a pushup bra.  PBR wouldn’t even do the trick with these broads, you’d need something stronger like Colt 45 or Steel Reserve. 

Ladies, the reason guys only want sex from you is because that is all you have to offer.  This goes for women of any age.  Women who have their shit together emotionally, physically and financially don’t have this complaint. 

This reminded me of a high school classmate that I ran into a while back, she made the comment that all that hits on her are either really old guys or really young guys.  Well sweetie, successful guys don’t have to settle for a single mom with 3 kids from 2 different guys.  Mystery solved, call me fucking Shercock Holmes.

Now do most guys want sex, fucking duh!!!!!  However a lot of guys would love to find that one really great chick like the one I mentioned above, the mythical woman who actually has her shit together.  Although you’d probably have more luck finding a golden unicorn and fucking it in the ass, anywhore…until we find either her or the unicorn we’re just going to keep using you for the only purpose you could possibly serve…..a hole.

You’re now free to fuck a unicorn in the ass.

unicorn hoe

Posted in avoid marriage, boobs, marriage sucks, sex, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Don’t Shit On My Goddamn Table You Fucking Cunt-tard!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 22, 2011

thanksgiving side dish

This is your Captain speaking…..welcome aboard fuckers!

I tell you crazy fuckers what, the shit I hear in the company cafeteria never ceases to amaze or piss me off.

Fat cunt 1 and fat cunt 2 are a couple of tables away but are talking loud enough so that the entire fucking county can hear them.  They are blathering on about how men don’t appreciate them and about how they bring “a lot to the table”.   Now ladies listen up, just because you bring something to the table doesn’t mean that the other person wants it.

Do these women bring a lot to the table, why yes, in so many ways however none of them are good if you’re a guy.

First off, they’re clearly attention whores.  You always know they’re around long before you see them because they make sure they talk loud enough so thatcasey everyone knows they’re there.  While they are young, they do not give two shits about their appearance and are pushing two bills.  Let’s not forget these chicks didn’t have time to go to college so they have a nice low level, low paying job.  Who knows what other mental disorders they have, treated or untreated. And the best thing they’re bringing to the table?  Why of course multiple kids from multiple losers!  HOT DAMN SIGN ME UP!

Yes these cunt-tards do bring a lot to the table, I actually have to agree with them on that, too bad they don’t bring anything worthwhile to the fucking table.  But how often have you heard this?  Tons I’d bet!

Even if the chick is smoking hot chances are that’s all she’s bringing is her looks and her vagina.  Neither of which will be worth looking at 10 years from now.  So even if she’s hot it’s still best to just hop in for a test drive, ride it hard and promptly return the keys before any payments are due.

The United States (and other Western countries) are full of these entitlement princesses that think that their mere presence is a gift to god himself.  I wouldn’t take the time to piss in these bitches faces, it’d be a waste of PBR.

You’re now free to piss in a strippers face.

Hey fuckers, just wanted to tell you that the Zero Tolerance Man is fucking back and you can find him at so get your asses over there! 


Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

Shit That’s Pissing Me Off Today…

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 15, 2011


What’s up fuckers! 

You know what’s really pissing me off right now?  Women who EXPECT other people, like you and I, to help foot the bill for their kids that they can’t afford!

While eating lunch at an unnamed chain restaurant, let’s call it Rubychillifridaygardenlobsterhorn and in the booth behind me were these two bitches in their late 20s, the one was crying her eyes out about not knowing what to do now that she’s pregnant.

Something must be in the fucking water because when I turn on the local news there’s always a story asking people to help some poor single mother with 3 kids from 5 different guys.  Yes, we must help her save her house or feed those crumbcrunchers.  The shit’s everywhere!!  Anyways…back to my fuck story.

Apparently this stupid cunt doesn’t even have a job with health insurance, so she was telling her friend that she was soooooo worried about being denied Medicaid.  She told her cunt friend that “I need help, I can’t do this alone.”  Hmm, maybe you should have found a man, but that’s too fucking old school for you isn’t?

You should have thought about that before dumbass.  There are just too many types of birth control out there, not to mention the morning after pill for me to buy this line of shit.  She wanted a baby, she didn’t give two shits worth of thought as to how she’d actually raise the kid or the quality of life that child would have.

If I went around saying fellow taxpayers should fund my dream of my own private cruise ship filled with alcohol and staffed with chefs and horny Brazilian women and 2 midgets people would tell me how stupid I was.  They’d tell me to get a job and fund my own fucking fantasy.

Well ladies, that’s what you should fucking do.  Nobody owes you a dime, if you want something then do what men do…..plan and work for it.

Peace out fuckers, I’ll see you on the cruise ship!


Posted in Captain No Marriage, money, sex, Single mothers, women | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

Planned Parenthood

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 26, 2011


Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

More Proof (as if you need any) That Single Mothers are Bad News!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 24, 2011


What’s up fuckers!

There’s an excellent article over at Niceguy’s Page written by Oxygenthief called “Dodging a Bullet”. 

A perfect title for a tale about a close encounter of the skank kind.

Enjoy and always remember what Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre taught us….


Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Oppressed Woman You Are Full of Shit!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 31, 2011


This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!

You’ve talked to this chick before, the “oppressed” woman with her sobbinb stories about how unfair life is.  Everything and everyone is against her.  It’s a wonder she’s made it this far, or so she says.  It’s everyone’s fault but her own, society, her parents, her skin color, even god.

I was listening to one such bitch the other day ramble on about how stupid thughard it is for her.  However in her ramblings she left out some very important backstory.  Like the part where she was involved with and got knocked up by felons.  Yes, that’s plural, felons. 

Now you can probably guess the next part of her story, she has to raise the bastard kids on her own.  Well “on her own” meaning healthy support from the gov’t.  So now everyone from men to her employer is against her, at least that’s her fucking story.

fat bitchWell dear it should be obvious why any man with even a modest amount of success would avoid your dumb ass.  What guy would want to take over the full bill for two other men’s mistakes?!!  You let drug dealers bust load after load in your pussy then you want the guy with the stable career to come in and clean up the mess?  Stupid fucking cunt.

Oh and your employer, well maybe if you could go a whole week without having to leave early or take a mental health day then they might actually see you as an asset to the company.  Mental note to you dumb broads out there, coming in late and leaving early are not ways to forward your career.  Unless you’re trying to forward your ever expanding ass out the fucking door.

So while racism and sexism do exist, it is rarely the driving cause of a person’s woes.  It wasn’t this woman’s skin color, fate, or her god that fucked her life up, it was her string of bad decisions that SHE made that fucked her life up and continue to fuck her life up.  Bitch, the problem is YOU!

You’re now free to smack your bitch up.

Rights Managed

Posted in Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Avoid Marriage and Avoid Single Mothers!!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 24, 2011

tits nun

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

I know many of you were worried that I was taken up in the rapture that happened this past Saturday. But fear not, I am still here, as are you.  So let’s get this shit cracking!

Good news travels fast folks and it didn’t take long for some single mothers trying to hock their tired old wares on your Captain.  Yes my friends, these women are trying to convince me to not just buy; but grossly overpay for a vehicle that is high mileage, thoroughly abused, and in serious need of some major body work!!!

classic_car_auctionNow a few of these clunkers are in decent shape considering all the wear and tear that’s been put on them by guys in the past.  You’ve been there right, the used car salesman puts a nice coat of wax on the old banger.  It looks great from the road when you drive past at 60 mph.

Then you turn around and pull into the lot to get a closer look and that’spiece of shit when you see that they parked it so the side that’s smashed in is facing away from the road.  You see the tires are flat and bald.  You notice the paint is cracked and looks like warm shit.  Not to mention that to get the thing running you need a fucking NASCAR pit crew.  Even then it mostly just sputters and smokes a lot.

Sound like anyone you know?  Like the kind of chick who looks great in jeans, then when you get them off of her you feel like you’re participating in the fucking moon landing!!! 

saggy titsAnd the tits, OMFG the tits!!!  Major source of false advertising there!!  Ladies, I know they make bras that can make you look really good with your shirt on, but eventually you’ll have to take that shirt off and we will see your rack that looks like someone vomited into a couple of gym socks from where you cranked out a bunch of kids.  Plus ladies if you are an A cup, your water bra isn’t fooling shit!!!!

So beware of these charlatans gentlemen!  Don’t fall for it, don’t do the U-turn, just keep on driving right past!  I haven’t even gotten to all the fucking baggage these broads carry around…..I’ll do that next time.  Same fuck time, same fuck channel.

You’re now free to motorboat your sister’s best friend.

Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, Marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Avoid Marriage Files: Women’s Bullshit

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 9, 2011


This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!

Yet again I hear a perfect of women’s bullshit while on the job.  This falls into the category of “not all women are like that”, a topic we’ve covered before but since this bitch sees fit to bring it up at work all the time I’ll bring it up here.

This is the chick who got knocked up by a loser and had to drop out of college, then married the loser and decided to have a second kid with the loser.  My prediction is of course that she’ll be pregnant with a third kid from this loser by year end.  Oh, and she’s on gov’t assistance so you and I are paying for her little rugrats.  Just thought I’d throw that little fact in.trailer trash bitches

This chick and one of her “proud” single mother friends were talking about how if they left the loser they were with that they wouldn’t take anything.  “He could have it all!” as the one sloppy bitch put it.

Yes, have it all!!!  But all of what?  All of their Wal-Mart book cases that fall apart the moment you fart on them?  All of their over-priced, low quality rent-to-own furniture?  All the riches of some guy who doesn’t even make $20k a year at the age of 30?  Wow!!!  That’s so fucking nice of her!!!!

Women like this love to try to snag a decent guy now that they’ve been knocked up multiple times by a loser.  But gentlemen, do NOT fall for this bullshit!  The only reason these cunts wouldn’t take anything from their loser lovers is because there isn’t shit to fucking fuck take!!!!!!

That’s like me saying I wouldn’t fuck Oprah to help the war effort.  So fucking what?  I wouldn’t of fucked her anyways!!!!!!!

Motherfuck fucking goddamn ass raping fuck these dumb cunts drive me crazy!!  But on a happy note, we all know that most women don’t discover what a 401K is until they’re around age 56.  So these dumb human Xerox machines will be eating catfood when they get old.  Joke’s on you tramp!

You’re now free to move about the trailer park!


Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , , , , | 10 Comments »

Alimony Goes Belly Up

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 17, 2011

                      boobs belly dancing

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!

Yet another great link dropped into my lap from Blackchild.  It’s a one page article from the New York Post that you can see here.a_belly_dancing ho 

Now we all know idiots who call into work, then post pictures of them out at the beach or on a lake and later wonder how they got busted ( and why they got fired).  This broad fits right in with that group of idiots. 

Being your typical NYC ball-busting bitch, she was looking to get LIFETIME ALIMONY from her soon to be ex husband because she was a greedy bitch who doesn’t want to work disabled. 

Disabled except for the fact she was able to spend several hours a day belly-dancing.  Then our Mensa member decided to blog about her spending several hours a day belly dancing.  Then her hubby entered her blogs as evidence and now her hula hoop swinging ass will now have to get a job. (yes I know hula hoops are not a part of belly dancing……..unless you’re in a strip club)

However, read what happened to her, she still got two years of alimony ($400 a month) not much but still since she can obviously work, why give her ANY?  Plus she still gets 40% of the proceeds from the sale of the house that probably was paid for 100% by the husband.

belly dancingSo basically you have another of a case where a woman is busted trying to commit FRAUD and nobody gives a shit.  Poor oppressed woman, must be tough not having to live by the same laws that the rest of us have too. 

Let’s see, the CDC say’s average life expectancy is about 78, which for her old ass would have meant 35 years of payments at $850 per month for a nominal total of $357,000!!!  So in other words this bitch tried to mug her husband for well over a quarter of a million dollars and she gets nothing for it!  Nice, really fucking nice.

So guys this is what you get with an American woman, a fraudster.  Yes, marriage is all about love, just sign on the dotted line.

You’re now free to drink Pabst Blue Ribbon and watch some Shakira videos with the sound turned off and Ozzy playing in the background.

Posted in avoid marriage, boobs, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers | Leave a Comment »

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