Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘alimony’

Work From Anywhere!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 18, 2016


This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers!!

Don’t worry about the title of this post, I won’t be trying to sell you on the latest MLM to come down the pike.  I am going to take a minute to offer some drunk advice that can apply to any age but especially for the 20-somethings.

I don’t have to tell you that it’s easier than ever to have some kind of income producing business online.  You’ve probably already read countless articles and watch youtube videos about all the benefits of not having a 9-5 and being tied to a job at a specific location.

Well here’s one benefit all the gurus probably failed to mention.  It’s a way to make sure you never get stuck having some broad’s hand in your wallet.  This isn’t about manning up or any of that bullshit.  I’m talking about you keeping your money and not paying it to some chick you banged, even if you were dumb enough to marry the bitch.

If you have a regular job here in Merica, the nanny state will ass rape you in the public square and garnish your wages.  Your employer will gladly go along with the scheme because at that moment they know you’re fucked and even more of a slave to the company than you were before.

However, if you make your money online you don’t have to have any connections to the US.  You can smile at the judge, not say a word and pick up your shit and move.  No you don’t have to live with pirates in Somalia, there are plenty of desirable places you can park your ass and your money out of reach from money-grubbing bitches.  I’m not going to list them because…..well…….Google.

What I’m saying is even if you don’t have to use the nuclear option of leaving the country to avoid paying some broad it still gives you freedom.  Even if you just have a skill that can be used in another country.  I know this sounds totally crazy to some people but if you ever find yourself in a courtroom and the judge is telling you how much you are going to be paying in alimony to some chick, possibly for life, it won’t sound so fucking crazy then.  It doesn’t sound crazy to the guy who isn’t seeing his kids because his ex called 911 on him before he even got home from work and found the police waiting for him.  It doesn’t sound crazy when suddenly it becomes your only option to live a decent life.

You’re now free to move about the globe.

Posted in avoid marriage, money, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

You’re Just Doing It Wrong!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 23, 2015


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers! 

Ever get into a discussion about marriage and women with that one guy who thinks there isn’t a problem?  To him it’s simple, all the OTHER guys getting fucked are simply doing it wrong.

Yep, we’re all fuckups who don’t know what we’re doing.  But this guy, he’s going to do it “right”.  He says shit like this:

  1. He’s going to keep his wife happy

  2. He’s not going to give her a reason to cheat

  3. He’ll treat her the way she wants to be treated

  4. Blah, blah, fucking blah

Some of these guys suffer from a delusion similar to what some have described as the Disney Princess Syndrome in women.  I guess for guys we can call it the Colonial Times Syndrome, because you’d have to hop into a hot tub time machine and go back to the colonial days to find a woman who fit into the traditional sense of marriage.

They simply want something that doesn’t exist while at the same time refusing to see the world in front of them.  I’ve even asked these guys if they’ve ever met a woman close to what they’re looking for.  Of course the answer is no, but they don’t let facts get in their way, they’re partying like it’s 1799!!!

The problem is later on when these same guys call a show like Tom Leykis or email a site like this one to talk about how their little princess turned out to be a self-absorbed, mentally ill, cheating, money-loving bitch.  Wow, who knew?

I’m not saying you shouldn’t want a family or a chick that’s faithful. What I’m saying is before you make something a goal, make sure it still exists. I’d love to go saber-tooth tiger hunting with my dentist.  That’s what I want dammit!!!  But what I want doesn’t fucking matter because what I want died out a long time a go, just like the girl you’re looking for.

You’re now free to go hunting with your dentist.

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Why I Support Gay Marriage and Adoption

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 8, 2013


Gay_Marriage_Women

This is your Captain speaking, sorry about that landing in San Fran, but……….Welcome aboard fuckers!!!!!!!

Ok, you probably never expected me to support any kind of marriage but hear me out fuckers.  Some of you probably already know my angle on this so here we go!!!!!!!

Listen, our family court system is FUCKED!!!  We all know that, if you’re a man you might as well lube up your ass and grab your ankles because you will get royally screwed in court by your ex, the lawyers, the whole fucking system!!!

As we’ve talked about here and other people have brought up in other venues, the only time they change a law that’s unfair to men is when it affects the little women too.  Just look at the case in Florida where the governor vetoed a bill that would have eliminated lifetime alimony.  I mean we can’t have that now can we?  What would the poor little gold-digging whores do?rm

So what we need guys is more bitches thrown on our side of the fence.  What we need is a nice pretty young thing to get with some manly looking broad and the two divorce.  It would be even better if they adopted a kid too, that way the manly bitch could get ass raped just like any man.

Things aren’t going to change until women start to feel the pain too, then it will suddenly become a national priority, there will be pages of editorials of how the system is broken and unfair.

I personally don’t give two shits who you’re fucking, this isn’t about gay, straight or sheep lovers.  The marriage failure rate for gay people will be just as shitty as it is for the rest of us.  So hang on to your butt plugs and rubber fists gay people because this is one ride that won’t make you explode with pleasure.  You have just boarded the Shit Town Express!!!!

I’ve tried to warn the LGBT community that marriage was a shitty deal, but you fucks refuse to listen, so now I want you to get exactly what you’re asking for, because that’s the only way men will get what I’m asking for. The system is broken people, take off your Elton John rose colored glasses and try to see what the fuck I’m saying.  Read the comments on this blog and others like it.  You don’t want this.

However, since the gay community seems to think they know more than the rest of us, fuck em.  I look forward to the day when some crying cunt in on the Today show talking about how her ex-wife took her for everything she owned.  Welcome to our world cunt.

You’re now free to do whatever the fuck you want.

Brasil ass rocks

Posted in marriage sucks, Politics, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Trends

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 10, 2011


This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Lots of divorce stories in the news this week.  I can’t help to notice a trend in some of the celebrity divorces coming about. 

Take Charlie Sheen for example, married in 2008, now has to pay $55hospital nursery,000 a month, yes a fucking MONTH!!!….for child support.  Ashlee Simpson also filed for divorce after her 3 year marriage but not before she found time to shit out a kid also.  

Now this not just a celebrity deal, I see it all the time.  Woman goes from being perfect girlfriend to never happy bitch wife and is knocked up, by accident of course within the first year of the marriage.  Then before the kid even is barely out of diapers the couple some how “grows apart”. 

A lot of times if the guy is well off, she’ll crank out two or three kids in rapid succession, be a stay at home mom and secure both a healthy alimony and child support payment from the poor sucker who married her ever expanding ass.

don't want kidsTom Leykis used to tell his listeners to wait until you’ve been married 5 years before you have kids.  That is of course if you were just determined to be married and to raise a family, children were the only reason he’d ever be ok with marriage however he would still point out that while it was good for the child it was still not good for the man.  I completely agree.

I also agree with waiting 5 years.  Just think of all the relationships that were in the shitter by year 3 or 4!!  I know lots of guys whose wives conveniently got knocked up right before they decided they wanted a divorce.  Leaving the guy stuck paying an 18 year annuity, tax free for her!!

Gentlemen, your sperm are like blank checks or a debit card with the pin written on the back.  Actually worse because if a thief steals your debit card he can only get what’s in there today.  If a woman gets a hold of your sperm she gets her claws into what you have for the next two decades!!!!

You’re now free to blow a load in her eye.

 

nice beach ass

 

Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

What Happens In England……..Probably Won’t Stay In England

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 26, 2010


 

This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers!

First off, many thanks to Blackchild for bringing this story to my attention.  It’s a story from the UK’s Daily Mail about a lotto winner who’s ex-wife that he divorced back in 2000 was able to get her hands on over $3 million (US dollars) of his lotto winnings.

greedy-woman

It wasn’t enough that her child support increased from just over $300 a month to over $3000 (US dollars), no that wasn’t enough for this cunt who is spending the money on her new guy.  Hey, any bets on how long new guy sticks around after she blows the money?

Keep in mind that this guy had already intended to give his ex wife a “big gift”.  If you ever needed evidence that when it comes to Western women that being a nice guy NEVER pays, there you go.

It’s bad enough that there’s this notion that when a couple is married and the man is successful that the woman had something to do with his success even though most times she’s actually a handicap.  But how in the blue hell did we get to the point where a woman is entitled to money years after the divorce? 

So since she’s entitled to increases in his wealth, what about decreases?  It’s basic finance, if you want to share in the gains you should equally share in the losses.  Maybe men who find themselves in financial turmoil should sue their ex-wives so that they can share in the liability?

That would be equal and isn’t that what you girls want?

You’re now free to pay hookers with scratch-off tickets.

Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Alimony: A Lottery

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 4, 2010


Posted in Marriage, money | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Accustomed to a Certain Lifestyle

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 16, 2010


This is your Captain speaking……………….welcome aboard fuckers.

First off, yes I know some men get alimony.  It happens.  In Chile a girl survived a 13-story fall, it happens.  Mostly alimony is the man paying for past use of a vagina.  But why?  Because she “grew accustomed to a certain lifestyle”.


WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING FUCK ASS FUCKING COCKSUCKING FUCK!!!!!!

So if I switch jobs, can I tell my employer that he has to give me a month of vacation every year simply because my old employer did?  What if I was accustomed to it?  Sounds fucking retarded, right?  Because it is, but somehow our legal system has it ass-backwards once again.

So what about what the guy was accustomed to?  What if he was accustomed to the attractive woman that he dated and she chops off her hair and porks up the minute her lips touch the wedding cake?  What if he was accustomed to getting his dick sucked on a regular basis………..never mind……that’s over once her lips touch the wedding cake too!!!

Bottom line is that neither person is entitled to JACK FUCKING SHIT.  If a relationship goes south, you move on.  There shouldn’t be financial penalties.  If a woman is in a marriage and she chooses to crap out kids instead of a career that could support her, that was HER decision.  If she got a degree in women’s studies instead of going to medical school, then that was HER decision.   So when the relationship is over, it should be fucking over!!

Just another reason why there is no benefit to a man to get married.

You are now free to kick the bitch down the stairs.


Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

 
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