Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘american women suck’

Chick Leaves Marriage….but ONLY after Shitting out a Kid

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 27, 2016


This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Not that this will surprise anyone who reads this blog, but over at the Suckington Post they have a story from a single mom……big surprise…….talking about how having her son gave her the strength to leave her husband.

Yes after years of marriage it wasn’t until she shat out a womb turd that she “realized” that her husband was verbally and emotionally abusive.  No folks not until she had locked down that 18+ year annuity did she realize she needed to leave her marriage.  Funny how that shit works.

She mentioned that she grew up with two parents but for some reason she decided on her own that her son didn’t need that.  No like most Western women she has decided that she’ll raise him to be perfect little gentleman, nothing like the guy she spent so much time spreading her legs for.

But that’s not all folks…………if you wander down to the comment section you’ll see several women say that they could have written the same dumbfuck story.  Isn’t that special?

Also throughout the story she makes sure to reference the kid as HER son, as if she had some sort of virgin birth.  She also mentioned how she didn’t have much money and would have to work……..brace yourselves……FULL TIME……..gasp!!!  A woman working full time, what kind of sorcery is this?  That poor little princess!!

It’s stories like this that I wish I could sit down with the guy and get his side of the story.  Like how he probably worked his ass off to support her and how the “abuse” was actually her constantly bitching about him working to take care of her and how marriage wasn’t the fairy-tale she thought it should be.

This is just one of thousands of examples of what marriage has become today.  Marriage is a shit sandwich for guys and that’s probably an insult to shit sandwiches!

If you guys aren’t tuning into the Tom Leykis show to catch the family law hour every other Tuesday, you need to start.  Or if you’re a lazy fuck like me, just subscribe and listen to it whenever, that segment alone is worth the money!  They talk about crazy shit like this all the time!

I just don’t know what else to say, that article is pure fuckery and so are the majority of women.  Just use em and lose em.  That’s all you can do and as they say in the UFC…”Protect yourself at all times”

You’re now free drink about the cabin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

You’re Just Doing It Wrong!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 23, 2015


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers! 

Ever get into a discussion about marriage and women with that one guy who thinks there isn’t a problem?  To him it’s simple, all the OTHER guys getting fucked are simply doing it wrong.

Yep, we’re all fuckups who don’t know what we’re doing.  But this guy, he’s going to do it “right”.  He says shit like this:

  1. He’s going to keep his wife happy

  2. He’s not going to give her a reason to cheat

  3. He’ll treat her the way she wants to be treated

  4. Blah, blah, fucking blah

Some of these guys suffer from a delusion similar to what some have described as the Disney Princess Syndrome in women.  I guess for guys we can call it the Colonial Times Syndrome, because you’d have to hop into a hot tub time machine and go back to the colonial days to find a woman who fit into the traditional sense of marriage.

They simply want something that doesn’t exist while at the same time refusing to see the world in front of them.  I’ve even asked these guys if they’ve ever met a woman close to what they’re looking for.  Of course the answer is no, but they don’t let facts get in their way, they’re partying like it’s 1799!!!

The problem is later on when these same guys call a show like Tom Leykis or email a site like this one to talk about how their little princess turned out to be a self-absorbed, mentally ill, cheating, money-loving bitch.  Wow, who knew?

I’m not saying you shouldn’t want a family or a chick that’s faithful. What I’m saying is before you make something a goal, make sure it still exists. I’d love to go saber-tooth tiger hunting with my dentist.  That’s what I want dammit!!!  But what I want doesn’t fucking matter because what I want died out a long time a go, just like the girl you’re looking for.

You’re now free to go hunting with your dentist.

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Year off for shitting out kids??

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 10, 2015


What’s up fuckers!  This is your Captain speaking!!!  Welcome the fuck aboard!

First off, a quick shout out to fucking Norway, why?  Because I’m drunk, that’s why.

So NetFlix and Microsoft have recently announced that they’re helping the mothers of the world out by offering a shitload of paid leave for when they get knocked up.  This is the song all the little ladies love to sing, the song about how you really can have it all.  Right ladies?

Wrong! Take a year off paid huh?  Here’s how you broads are fucking yourself right in your wage gap.

What do you think will happen when it comes time for a raise?  Yes I know the company can’t hold that against you and they shouldn’t.  However you also don’t get any credit for shit that happened while you were gone.  Here’s how many companies administer raises.

Managers get a set amount for raises/promotions which are based on MERIT.  Guess what, your lifestyle choice of shitting out a kid has just as much merit as my new redneck hot tub equipped with rope lighting.  Merit means shit you’ve gotten done at work.  Chances are if you haven’t been at work, you haven’t done shit.  I’m going to give the raises to the people who were doing your job while you were gone.  Not because I hate mothers but because that is fair.  I reward performance, not absence.

Also when it comes time for promotion the people we think of first are the ones who are actually there.  So don’t get pissed off when you come back and I’ve promoted the 300lb lesbian as your new boss. You’re out of site out of mind bitch.  Just like I would be if I took a year off to go buttfuck Trappist monks while they made beer.  And yes, I’m comparing buttfucking monks to shitting out a kid.  At least in my case I’d have to climb a mountain or some shit.

Anywhore, my point is women need to give up this fantasy of having it all and this “balance” bullshit.  If you’re balanced, then you’re not doing shit.

You’re now free go buttfuck some monks and steal their beer.

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , | 5 Comments »

Revenge of the Manbeast!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 7, 2014


bigfoot

This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers!!!

So while nobody bats a thousand, the site Business Insider usually does a decent job with tech and business news, but the other day I saw this story come across my newsfeed.  It’s a story about how some broad was teased for being ugly back when she was 12 and now 10 years later one of the guys who used to bully her asked her out and she finally was able to get her “revenge”.  What made it even worse was the comment above was the link said that this “took guts”. 

First off, how this ended up on a business website is fucking beyond me and it was written by a guy, go figure.  To quickly address the content of the article, she set up a date with the guy then stood him up by giving the waiter a note to deliver to the guy.  All the note did was let the guy know he dodged the fucking crazy train!  On top of that, the article included the guy’s response, which unlike her letter, was mature and thought out.

I don’t get why this is even a fucking story. Shit like this happens to pretty much every guy who makes something of himself.  Story goes like this…..Young guy can’t get attractive women his own age to even acknowledge he’s alive then fast forward 15 or 20 years and the tables are turned.  Women his age are falling over themselves to get his attention.  Tom Leykis has been talking about this shit for years and we’ve all lived it. Where’s our story?

The good news for us is we don’t need no stinking story, we’re living the good live while bitches our age are living la vida government assistance with their multiple cunt turds from multiple losers.  That’s what I call revenge, laughing all the way to the bank.

You’re now free to live the good life.

cheerleader NOT from america

 

 

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Why I Support Gay Marriage and Adoption

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 8, 2013


Gay_Marriage_Women

This is your Captain speaking, sorry about that landing in San Fran, but……….Welcome aboard fuckers!!!!!!!

Ok, you probably never expected me to support any kind of marriage but hear me out fuckers.  Some of you probably already know my angle on this so here we go!!!!!!!

Listen, our family court system is FUCKED!!!  We all know that, if you’re a man you might as well lube up your ass and grab your ankles because you will get royally screwed in court by your ex, the lawyers, the whole fucking system!!!

As we’ve talked about here and other people have brought up in other venues, the only time they change a law that’s unfair to men is when it affects the little women too.  Just look at the case in Florida where the governor vetoed a bill that would have eliminated lifetime alimony.  I mean we can’t have that now can we?  What would the poor little gold-digging whores do?rm

So what we need guys is more bitches thrown on our side of the fence.  What we need is a nice pretty young thing to get with some manly looking broad and the two divorce.  It would be even better if they adopted a kid too, that way the manly bitch could get ass raped just like any man.

Things aren’t going to change until women start to feel the pain too, then it will suddenly become a national priority, there will be pages of editorials of how the system is broken and unfair.

I personally don’t give two shits who you’re fucking, this isn’t about gay, straight or sheep lovers.  The marriage failure rate for gay people will be just as shitty as it is for the rest of us.  So hang on to your butt plugs and rubber fists gay people because this is one ride that won’t make you explode with pleasure.  You have just boarded the Shit Town Express!!!!

I’ve tried to warn the LGBT community that marriage was a shitty deal, but you fucks refuse to listen, so now I want you to get exactly what you’re asking for, because that’s the only way men will get what I’m asking for. The system is broken people, take off your Elton John rose colored glasses and try to see what the fuck I’m saying.  Read the comments on this blog and others like it.  You don’t want this.

However, since the gay community seems to think they know more than the rest of us, fuck em.  I look forward to the day when some crying cunt in on the Today show talking about how her ex-wife took her for everything she owned.  Welcome to our world cunt.

You’re now free to do whatever the fuck you want.

Brasil ass rocks

Posted in marriage sucks, Politics, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

One Rib

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 22, 2012


This joke has been around for a while, but it’s still worth a read.  Enjoy.

 

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?"

Adam said, "Lord, I don’t have anyone to talk to."

God said, "Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a ‘woman’. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give ‘love’ and compassion whenever needed. She will never question your behavior or the company you keep. She will support you and understand that you have important decisions to make throughout your life and don’t have time for nonsense…"

Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?"

God said, "An arm and a leg…"

Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"

average american woman

Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, women | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

This One’s For Da Ladies….

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 28, 2011


ASSume da position

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard you fucking fuck fuckers!!!

So over the weekend I ate at one of the most entertaining lunch venues around, a place where a guy can always look and laugh at the final resting place of most Ameriskanks, I’m talking about Rubychillifridaygardenlobsterhorn.  There you will always find some shrill and her friend at the bar, way past their prime complaining about men.  So I’ve decided to help them out and explain some shit to them.

Their issue?  Men only want one thing from them.  Sex.sagging old tits

Our subjects were in their late 30s or early 40s, you could tell that they used to be hot, but time and high mileage had clearly taken it’s toll.  And these aren’t the older women you see in the gym that actually have a decent body, oh no these two birds were just trying to get by with stuffing their sagging tits into a pushup bra.  PBR wouldn’t even do the trick with these broads, you’d need something stronger like Colt 45 or Steel Reserve. 

Ladies, the reason guys only want sex from you is because that is all you have to offer.  This goes for women of any age.  Women who have their shit together emotionally, physically and financially don’t have this complaint. 

This reminded me of a high school classmate that I ran into a while back, she made the comment that all that hits on her are either really old guys or really young guys.  Well sweetie, successful guys don’t have to settle for a single mom with 3 kids from 2 different guys.  Mystery solved, call me fucking Shercock Holmes.

Now do most guys want sex, fucking duh!!!!!  However a lot of guys would love to find that one really great chick like the one I mentioned above, the mythical woman who actually has her shit together.  Although you’d probably have more luck finding a golden unicorn and fucking it in the ass, anywhore…until we find either her or the unicorn we’re just going to keep using you for the only purpose you could possibly serve…..a hole.

You’re now free to fuck a unicorn in the ass.

unicorn hoe

Posted in avoid marriage, boobs, marriage sucks, sex, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Happy Marc Rudov Day!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 14, 2011


What’s up fuckers, I found this over at ScareCrow’s site. An awesome vid about feminism.  Well worth the time to check out and while you’re at it check out Marc’s site.  I’ve been listening to the radio archive section where you can hear some recent interviews about NO-mance Day, or as it should be called……Marc Rudov Day!


As ScareCrow would say…”SHOW DICK SOME RESPECT!”

The Story of Feminism–as told by WOMEN from maxtll on Vimeo.


Posted in money, relationship, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Enter the Inferno

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 10, 2011


What’s up fuckers.  I was on YouTube checking out thong videos and I took some time to check in on Chapin’s Inferno and found this gem.  He does some great work and this just one of millions of fine examples.  Enjoy fuckers.

Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

Expired Cunt Wants Me To Pay For Old Vagina!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 18, 2010


This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!!

A while back I talked about my lack of interest in my class reunion, however I eventually decided to go along with some good friends of mine who I still keep in touch with. There was also a particular female “friend” there also that I have been conversing with via email before the reunion.

This particular woman is someone who I had an interest in back in high school but was unsuccessful in banging her back then. Even after graduation I’d run into her every now and they, we even went to dinner back before I knew any better. Of course back then she was in her twenties and no doubt had plenty of offers rolling in while at that point in my life I had a blue collar job making a shitty hourly wage.

Fast-forward 3 kids and 2 different fathers later for her and an MBA and good paying job for me…………….and what do you know. When we started talking this time there was a spark!! Love is in the goddamn stankin’ air!! Imagine that! But wait folks, that’s not all. She even confessed that she liked me back in school too! Oh happy happy joy joy!!! Then she told me that she wished I had asked her out back then!!

Hang on a second………..I detect a flaw in the slaw here.  For fuck sake I tried, I did shit I’d never do now to get that pussy! It was not lack of effort on my part! Don’t you just love how women twist shit around? Let’s take a look at what really went the fuck on.

THEN:then

NOW:now

 

In her 20s she was getting all kinds of offers and little Miss Princess could be as picky as she wanted! But now that her ass is knocking on 40 with “multiple baby daddy syndrome” kicking her in the teeth………..she suddenly has a change of heart. Thank goodness my lucky stars!! Oh, did I mention that this chick doesn’t have any kind of career or education to fall back on; her 401k is finding a guy (sucker) to lock in and make him pay!! Speaking of paying, do I even have to mention that one of the father’s is a loser who doesn’t pay child support? Big surprise I know.

Now that all the good prospects have dried up, oh yes now she wants me to come in with my Captain Save-A-Hoe cape and pay all the bills. Pay for the fun all other guys had who got her in her prime, back when the ass was still firm, the tits pointed straight ahead and the pussy was still tight. Yes, now she wants a one on one serious relationship.

To quote an old Saturday Night Live skit…..”Isn’t that special!”

You are now free to bang hookers in Europe.

Posted in money, relationship, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

 
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