Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘breasts’

FGOP

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 21, 2010


This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers.

Here’s a little diddy from pualingo.com about the Fat Girl Overhead Photo.  Don’t fall for this scam gentlemen!!

“A deceptive camera angle showing a decent (or sometimes hot) picture of a girl who is actually much less attractive than she presents herself to be online.

Coined by internet dating guru David M, the FGOP is a technique used by UGs and warpigs to make themselves look more attractive in online pictures and profiles. While it is understandable to choose the best pictures when presenting oneself online, the FGOP goes beyond just picking good pictures to outright deception: using sneaky camera angles, strategic cropping, and perspective techniques to grossly distort the attractiveness of the girl in the photo.

Example of an FGOP”

don't be fooled!

Reality sucks!

You’re now free to demand the bitch shows herself on webcam.

Posted in sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Women plan to do fucking nothing!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 18, 2009


This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers.

As I was making my way back from lunch today, I ran into a female co-worker from my old dept.  This chick used to be a smoking hot blond with an awesome body.  Of course she was single then……..now a married woman, she has chunked up, cut her hair and constantly complains of migraines and other medical issues.


The latest revelation from this chunkster is that she is going to law school, not really a new claim, but considering that she’s been in community college for over 3 years does leave some doubt to her claim.  She also said that she wants kids in the future.

So let’s review and pretend that she does actually go to law school one day.  She’ll graduate with tons of debt then have a kid, no career established and her “lucky” husband will be left with not only her massive student loans but the cost of raising the little crumb crunchers that she wants.  Typical American lazy bitch, doesn’t want real work, just wants to satisfy her own little fantasy that exists only in her overweight jizzed trapped mind.  I can see why the other guy she was with ran like hell when the idea of marriage came up.

That guy had it right, wear the pussy out while she’s hot, the guy now has a fat, gassy, cranky version of what she used to be and he gets to pay all the bills!  Wow, sign me up for that!

You’re now free to drink about the cabin!



Posted in Marriage, money, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Times are tough…….Let’s have a BABY!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 26, 2009


This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!

Tonight’s article is sponsored by Hurricane Malt Liquor, 8.1% ABV.

Riddle me this fuckers………

How many of  you work with women who complain about how hard things are financially then the next thing you know, the other women in the office are throwing this bitch a fucking baby shower!

The same woman who was complaining about how much daycare costs, how hard it is on a limited income, talking about how expensive kids are, etc…. and suddenly they decide that having another kid is a great idea!

WomanWithKids

Of course a few months after shitting out another fetal turd, they go right back to how hard things are financially and how their job doesn’t pay them enough!   Yeah, instead of making the connection between their own actions and their life situation, they blame someone else, in this case their employer!

Typical American woman bullshit, they like to do what they want and blame someone else for their problems.  They can’t make the connection between the fact that because they have zero education and keep shitting out kids…………they can’t figure out why they don’t have any money and they can’t figure out why successful men don’t want a fucking thing to do with these used up retarded cunts.  They have 2 or 3 crumb crunchers by 3 different felons and they can’t figure out why their life is fucked up.  You stupid fucking 3-day old left in the sun bait buckets!

Just another reason to avoid these worthless entitlement whores!  They aren’t worth the price of a free rubber from the fucking free clinic!

You’re now free to drink malt liquor about the cabin fuckers!


Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Class Reunion? Fuck No!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 17, 2009


This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers.

The subject of class reunions came up with a friend of mine.  He was looking forward to his, much like a used car dealer looks forward to going to the auto auction to buy up a bunch of clunkers.  I can understand his game, these formerly hot chicks are the ones who were too stuck up to date guys their own age when they were in high school.  Now these chicks are old hags with stretch marks, fat rolls and kids from different men.

I guess it would be a bit of revenge to bang these former hotties, but that’s a game I’ll have to sit out on.  Not because I’m too good, but to be honest I now have enough money to be able to afford these women’s 18yr old daughters.  I remember hearing Tom Leykis talk about this years ago and once again the man was right!!!

The last thing I want is a woman my own age!  If that’s what I liked, I’d stay married!

3middleagewomenflips

Old hags like these are for broke guys!

As men get older we have more of what women want, as women get older they have LESS of what men want.

You’re now free to bang younger, hotter bitches.

Posted in money, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

To all the “woman-haters” out there!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 4, 2009


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers…..

I’ve spoken before about how certain over the hill female “friends” of mine have told me that I hate women.  Why?  Because I said that marriage holds NO benefit for men and that I will NEVER  get married again.

Yes, because I don’t want to risk financial ruin, I am a woman hater.  They never list any logical reasons why my statement is false, they simply attack me as a woman hater.  Funny how they’ll still have sex with such a woman hater and funny how someone who “hates” women is still banging away.

It’s also curious as to how it’s always the over 30, beyond their sell-by-date bitches that are making all these comments.  I’m sure because I don’t like cunts who just let themselves go, I’m sure that makes me a woman hater too.  I guess that I should lower my standards and look past all the younger, hotter, less drama chicks and bang chicks my own age.

Yeah right!  Fuck these Sex In The City, out of shape, droopy assed, saggy vomit-filled sock puppet tit whores!

Just another example of how women are incapable of using logic.  Just another example of how American women are living in a fantasy world where they are the queen of their castle.  More like queen of the fucking double wide!  Most American women are nothing more than glorified trailer trash.  Let’s take out the trash gentlemen!

Hump and Dump!  No living with these bitches!  No babies!  Follow your dreams and goals!  You’ll have more pussy than you know what to do with!  If wanting a great life that I enjoy makes me a woman hater, then so fucking be it.  Fucking cunts!  They complain about guys just wanting pussy, hasn’t it dawned on them that’s because that’s all these cunts have to offer?

Ask a woman about her opinion of small cap vs mid cap stocks.  Ask her about which front the military should focus on in the war on terror.  Sex is all women are good for.  Just treat it like a urinal, use them and get the fuck out!

Rock on fuckers!

You’re now free to move about the fucking cabin!



Posted in Marriage, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

To the young guys.

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 19, 2009


This is your Captain speaking……….welcome aboard fuckers.

This is a message for all the younger guys out there.  I know it sucks because attractive women your age are not giving you the time of day right now, but trust me.  Keep working on your career and your dreams and you will be amazed at how great your life will be.  You have NO idea how successful you can or will be when you’re 19, 20 or even 25.  The last thing you want to do is to get bogged down with some bitch and even worse if you knock the bitch up.

I’m not saying that you have to pay for pussy like a hooker, although there is some truth to that, but what I’m saying is that the more successful you become, the more doors will open and the more options you will have in your life.  Not just with women, but with every aspect of your life.

It kills me to see young guys settle for some local piece of ass that they knocked up and end up giving up all their hopes and dreams, just to slave away to support some bitch and “do the right thing”.  Well, that’s the wrong fucking thing gentlemen!

Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by settling down with your highschool sweetheart.  Don’t date single mothers and do not have a serious relationship until AFTER you have realized your dreams.  Even then, a serious relationship offers no benefits to a guy that he cant get by banging multiple women.

Stay true to yourselves guys, don’t fall into the money pit of marriage and kids.  Live your life the way that you want it and not how some bitch is nagging you to live it.

Until next time fuckers.

You’re now free to move about Wall Street.

Posted in Marriage, money, pua, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Cunts are never happy!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 10, 2009


This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers.

There’s an old guy from Brooklyn on YouTube who did a video about how no matter what you do for a woman, it’s never good enough.  Well, the Kid from Brooklyn is right!

When I married my wife I was working a blue collar job and going to school.  Of  course AFTER the marriage she loved to tell me how my back-breaking labor and attending class didn’t compare to her government office job.  Why?  Because she had to supervise 3 or 4 people.  Nice huh.

Now I’m going to school full-time to get my MBA and I work full time in the financial industry making 3 times as much as I did then and guess what?  Yes, her low level government job is sooooooo much more stressfull than my full time job and student status.

They’re never fucking happy, they never lose that bullshit victim mentality.  Not to mention the fact that when she talks to her jabber-jaw fucking friends, she tries to take credit for what I’ve done.  Nevermind the fucking fact that I can’t even study in my own home.

That’s right, its just like on Sundays fellas, you’ve been there when its game time and that’s when she decides to fire up the vaccum.  Its passive aggressive bullshit like that, always interupting, complaining about some stupid shit, anything to keep me from doing my work but yet the bitch wants to take fucking credit.

Having a wife has been a handicap when it comes to my career and my education.  Hands fucking down!

Don’t make the same mistake I made guys.  If you aren’t meeting the women that you want to meet, look up some PUA information, its everywhere on the web and it does work.  DO NOT FUCKING SETTLE!!!!

divorce


It make take me a minute to get out, but I am getting the fuck out of this mess and I am NEVER getting married or living with a bitch ever again!

You’re now free to do shots about the cabin……

Posted in Marriage, pua, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

So What are You Missing Out On?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 22, 2009


This is your Captain speaking and once again……………….Welcome Aboard Fuckers!!!

This one goes out to all the guys who are married, living with, or have a steady girlfriend.  I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “Don’t let life pass you by”, but that’s exactly what we’re doing gentlemen.  Getting married is letting life pass you by at the speed of light.  Let’s start with the obvious stuff that passes by….

Can you even count the number of cute waitresses that have passed you by?

hot waitress

And let’s not forget the cute cashier…..

flo

But of course we all realize the mistake we’ve made in choosing just one woman and all the opportunities that pass us by everyday.  But there’s others, like what if you feel like stopping by a few gun shops, or just drive to the beach without having to pack half the garage with you, or stop by a friends house for a few beers, or just being able to spend your days the way that YOU want to spend them.  Now that is where life is passing us by.

Being married is like living with your parents when you were 13, you know that if you stay out too late, you’re in trouble, and don’t forget to check in.

nag, nag, nag

Nag, nag, fucking nag, that’s what we listen too while our lives are passing us by.  It’s time for this to stop gentlemen.  I know it’s not always as easy as throwing your shit in your car, we can thank our legal system for that.  But make a plan, put away a few bucks here and there, being active and actually doing something to plot out your escape will be liberating just by itself.

Life is out there waiting for us, haven’t we let enough of it pass by?

You are now free to drink about my ballsack.

Posted in Marriage, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Why bother moving out of your parent’s place?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 15, 2009


This is your Captain speaking,

My question is not to suggest that people never move out. It is in reference to the fact that when a man gets married, he ends up right back in the same situation he was in when he was 16.

The place really isn’t his, he damn sure can’t set up the house like he wants, the bitch decorates. He has to ask permission for his friends to come over to watch the fight and God forbid that he wants to go over to that friend’s house that she doesn’t like. Yep, like 16 all over again, feeling trapped and looking forward to moving the fuck out.

Who do women act like a man’s mother? Who the fuck is telling them that this a good idea? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, one mother is enough!! Women, especially American women are just a bunch of mentally unbalanced, controlling bitches and men need to learn that women really are good for one thing, sex. Fuck em’ and chuck em’.

Men need to lose this scarcity mindset and realize than there’s a constant stream of new pieces of ass turning 18 every fucking day!!!

super-hot-thong

Don’t give in to these war pigs that you have to drink 4 quarts of malt liquor just to be able to look at her mismatched, discolored, sagging tits.

warpig-thumb

fat-girl-thong

Let’s step it up and let’s step out and make one final move out into our own place again! And once you have your freedom gentlemen, NEVER give it up again. If a chick wants to move in then it’s time for you to move on.   Kick her ever-expanding ass to the fucking curb!

You’re now free to grab your shit and go!

Posted in Marriage, pua, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Is She a Regular, or just in-between suckers?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 21, 2009


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers…….

As a long standing member of Gold’s gym, I have seen countless people start and eventually stop their workout habits.  I have become pretty accurate over the years of predicting how long someone will hang in there.

One interesting occurrence is how you will see certain women join the gym, you can tell that they have been neglecting trying to keep themselves up for a while.  But to their credit, they will work their fat asses off to the point where they are looking pretty bang-able.

Then they suddenly disappear.  They just stop going.  Their workout partner isn’t sure what happen, they’re just a no-show.  So one day, usually several months even a year or so later you see this overweight female who looks kinda familiar………….”but it can’t be the chick I’m thinking of” , you say to yourself.  But sure enough, it’s her.

overweight-woman-treadmill-150

She worked out long enough to reel in the next sucker, then her lazy ass quit working out.  Typical bait and switch, dog-n-pony show that American women are famous for.  You think you are getting a woman who takes pride in her appearance, then WHAM, the lazy cunt reveals her true lazy colors.

Of course, the reason is that she’s “comfortable” and you should like her for more than her body, even though it was the body that got your attention in the first place.

This is just like women who lose weight for their wedding day and then pork back up once the guy is locked into the marriage contract.  Then they wonder why the guy cheats.  Of course he’ll cheat, he feels duped and he was duped!!  He thought he was getting one thing but wound up with something completely different and fatter.

So if you see a chick in the gym or meet a women on the street or where ever, how can you tell is she really works out or is she is just between suckers and is only faking it until someone takes the bait?

One good way is to look at her shoulders and arms.  For women, these areas take a while to get nice tone, plus it requires attention to diet too.  Now I’m not saying she has to have arms like Arnold, but toned.  The fact that it takes a while to attain this toned look means that she is not one of those people who work out when things are “right”.  If she has a toned upper body then she’s been working out through thick and thin and not just when its convenient or when the planets are aligned.

woman_lifting_weights

Don’t be fooled by a nice body with no tone, unless you are in it for the short term, then it doesn’t matter, you can just tap the ass while she looks hot and kick her man-cow looking ass to the curb when she starts packing on the pounds.

You should never depend on one woman for your sexual needs, that’s one of many reasons why marriage is such a bad deal for men.

Strike while the ass is hot fellas, hump em’ and dump em’!

You’re now free to move about the gym….

Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

 
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