Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘child support’

You’re Just Doing It Wrong!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 23, 2015

This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers! 

Ever get into a discussion about marriage and women with that one guy who thinks there isn’t a problem?  To him it’s simple, all the OTHER guys getting fucked are simply doing it wrong.

Yep, we’re all fuckups who don’t know what we’re doing.  But this guy, he’s going to do it “right”.  He says shit like this:

  1. He’s going to keep his wife happy

  2. He’s not going to give her a reason to cheat

  3. He’ll treat her the way she wants to be treated

  4. Blah, blah, fucking blah

Some of these guys suffer from a delusion similar to what some have described as the Disney Princess Syndrome in women.  I guess for guys we can call it the Colonial Times Syndrome, because you’d have to hop into a hot tub time machine and go back to the colonial days to find a woman who fit into the traditional sense of marriage.

They simply want something that doesn’t exist while at the same time refusing to see the world in front of them.  I’ve even asked these guys if they’ve ever met a woman close to what they’re looking for.  Of course the answer is no, but they don’t let facts get in their way, they’re partying like it’s 1799!!!

The problem is later on when these same guys call a show like Tom Leykis or email a site like this one to talk about how their little princess turned out to be a self-absorbed, mentally ill, cheating, money-loving bitch.  Wow, who knew?

I’m not saying you shouldn’t want a family or a chick that’s faithful. What I’m saying is before you make something a goal, make sure it still exists. I’d love to go saber-tooth tiger hunting with my dentist.  That’s what I want dammit!!!  But what I want doesn’t fucking matter because what I want died out a long time a go, just like the girl you’re looking for.

You’re now free to go hunting with your dentist.

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Delusional Fucking Bitches

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 12, 2012

muffintop tattoo

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!

Man what the fucking fuck is wrong with women these days?  They are simply fucking delusional!  On so damn many levels!!

This shit has been going on for years.  I can remember way back when I had some bitch who thought she would be slick and try to sleep around on me and I busted her.  I of course dumped her ass and the first words out of this cunt’s mouth was “You’ll never find another woman like me”.  Really?  Well damn I sure was hoping I could rustle me up another cheating skank.  Sucks to be me!

These are the same kind of women who when you’re with them you’ll notice that all your arguments seem to focus on what you are supposedly doing to her.  Never about any of the bat shit crazy stuff she pulls, nope it’s all about YOU!  The world revolves around her vagina.

If you’re with a woman who likes to tell you what a “good” woman she is, fucking run!!!  If she truly is a good woman then you’ll fucking know without her telling you.

Does she tell you how lucky you are?  Again, this is like the good woman thing, best to fucking run now while you’ve still got your balls!

These women like to talk about all they have to offer but truth is that they bring nothing to the fucking table.  Well……….that’s not entirely true.  A lot of women bring a steaming pile of shit to the table and want you to believe it’s fucking steak!  They bring their emotional baggage, their fat fucking asses, their mental illnesses and of course they love to bring kids from other men into the mix.

Fuck you cunts.  American women are a pump n dump at best, most of the time they’re not even worth that.

You’re now free to smack a bitch at the table.


Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »


Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 10, 2011

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Lots of divorce stories in the news this week.  I can’t help to notice a trend in some of the celebrity divorces coming about. 

Take Charlie Sheen for example, married in 2008, now has to pay $55hospital nursery,000 a month, yes a fucking MONTH!!!….for child support.  Ashlee Simpson also filed for divorce after her 3 year marriage but not before she found time to shit out a kid also.  

Now this not just a celebrity deal, I see it all the time.  Woman goes from being perfect girlfriend to never happy bitch wife and is knocked up, by accident of course within the first year of the marriage.  Then before the kid even is barely out of diapers the couple some how “grows apart”. 

A lot of times if the guy is well off, she’ll crank out two or three kids in rapid succession, be a stay at home mom and secure both a healthy alimony and child support payment from the poor sucker who married her ever expanding ass.

don't want kidsTom Leykis used to tell his listeners to wait until you’ve been married 5 years before you have kids.  That is of course if you were just determined to be married and to raise a family, children were the only reason he’d ever be ok with marriage however he would still point out that while it was good for the child it was still not good for the man.  I completely agree.

I also agree with waiting 5 years.  Just think of all the relationships that were in the shitter by year 3 or 4!!  I know lots of guys whose wives conveniently got knocked up right before they decided they wanted a divorce.  Leaving the guy stuck paying an 18 year annuity, tax free for her!!

Gentlemen, your sperm are like blank checks or a debit card with the pin written on the back.  Actually worse because if a thief steals your debit card he can only get what’s in there today.  If a woman gets a hold of your sperm she gets her claws into what you have for the next two decades!!!!

You’re now free to blow a load in her eye.


nice beach ass


Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Deadbeats and Dumb Bitches

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 13, 2010

This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!

So I’ve been fucking around on FaceBook lately, with my laptop in one hand and a bottle of Johnnie Walker in the other.  I ended up on a page about deadbeat dads.  Post after post of women whining about how they haven’t gotten child support from their exes.


Yes to their surprise they let a guy who was a drug addict or an abuser or just plain loser knock them up… and now ……they are amazed that these guys aren’t paying child support.  How is this possible?  These women all have magic vaginas right?

WRONG!  Actually in the beginning these women loved all the things about these guys that they’re now bitching about.  They loved the dope smoking addict because he was such a free spirit.  The controlling, abusive guy really made her pussy drip with anticipation because he was a guy who knew what he wanted.

Of course having to support not only yourself and your kid or kids but also your loser boyfriend/husband gets old after a while.  Now these women want to cry “deadbeat” as if the guy has changed, but he hasn’t. 


This is just another example of women always playing the victim card.  Poor delicate little flowers they are…… ass!  These guys were deadbeats from day one!  It’s not the guys fault, it’s the poor decision making on the part of the women to have children with losers!  

So girls before you complain about how much of a loser your kids’ father…..or for most of you fathers……..before you start bitching just remember that YOU picked this guy.  YOU got pregnant and decided that it’d be a fan-fucking-tastic idea to have a baby with a loser.  YOU did this!  Put your big girl panties on and shut the fuck up!

You’re now free to smack your bitch up.


Posted in relationship, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 24 Comments »

Even Famous Pussy Has a Biological Clock That Rings Louder than Big Ben!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 12, 2010

This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers!!

Have you seen this article?  I’ll wait a minute while you read… Jessica Biel, who appears in the latest A Team movie is “desperate” for a baby from Justin Timberlake.  Hmmmm……I wonder why, oh wait I see why, she 28!!!! That’s like 45 in Hollywood years!  My advice to JT, GET THE FUCK OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!

She’s been banging around having a good time and now she wants that guaranteed 18 year annuity known as a baby.  I know what you’re saying, she has her own money, right?  At the moment, yes.  But haven’t you noticed how in Hollywood that the same group of leading men are getting older, but that they make sure that the female actresses that play opposite of them stay the same age.  You don’t see Brad Pitt playing opposite Sharon Stone, hell no, they get the newest, hottest piece of ass they can find.

At 28 Biel is no longer the hottest or youngest.  So she needs to lock in some mega child support that you can only get from a famous actor/musician/athlete.

But gentlemen this happens at all levels, not just Hollywood, it’s happening on your street, maybe it’s happened to you.  You’re dating some broad and things are going well until………………………….she hits you with the “I’m not getting any younger” speech.  Suddenly just having a good relationship is no longer enough for her.  Of course these are the same chicks on and Plenty of Fish who have headlines like “I’ve had my fun” or “Not into playing games”.

What this means is that she’s banged every Tom, Dick, and Harry Balls in the city and now that she has 150,000 miles on the odometer she wants to settle down and have YOU pay for her.  Sometimes one or four of the bad boys that she used to bang has left her with a little present in the form of a child.  Of course bad boy doesn’t pay any child support so she needs someone to “step up” or whatever other line of bullshit they try to pass off as honorable.  The bottom line is that as  a guy you want NO part of this mess.

As soon as a chick even hints of a baby you need to stop having sex with her immediately!!!!  Don’t make a 18yr gamble that the condom won’t slip or break.  Don’t hope that she won’t accidentally forget to take her pill or that she won’t poke a hole in your condoms.  Just like Justin Timberlake could replace Biel with an equally hot or hotter piece of ass, that’s what you need to do the moment she says she wants a child.  I don’t give a fuck if your Justin Timberlake or Joe 6 Pack, you need to run!  Run hard, run silent, run deep, just fucking run!!!

You’re now free to shove peanuts up some sky cunt’s ass.

Posted in money, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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