Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘cunt’

Why I Support Gay Marriage and Adoption

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 8, 2013


Gay_Marriage_Women

This is your Captain speaking, sorry about that landing in San Fran, but……….Welcome aboard fuckers!!!!!!!

Ok, you probably never expected me to support any kind of marriage but hear me out fuckers.  Some of you probably already know my angle on this so here we go!!!!!!!

Listen, our family court system is FUCKED!!!  We all know that, if you’re a man you might as well lube up your ass and grab your ankles because you will get royally screwed in court by your ex, the lawyers, the whole fucking system!!!

As we’ve talked about here and other people have brought up in other venues, the only time they change a law that’s unfair to men is when it affects the little women too.  Just look at the case in Florida where the governor vetoed a bill that would have eliminated lifetime alimony.  I mean we can’t have that now can we?  What would the poor little gold-digging whores do?rm

So what we need guys is more bitches thrown on our side of the fence.  What we need is a nice pretty young thing to get with some manly looking broad and the two divorce.  It would be even better if they adopted a kid too, that way the manly bitch could get ass raped just like any man.

Things aren’t going to change until women start to feel the pain too, then it will suddenly become a national priority, there will be pages of editorials of how the system is broken and unfair.

I personally don’t give two shits who you’re fucking, this isn’t about gay, straight or sheep lovers.  The marriage failure rate for gay people will be just as shitty as it is for the rest of us.  So hang on to your butt plugs and rubber fists gay people because this is one ride that won’t make you explode with pleasure.  You have just boarded the Shit Town Express!!!!

I’ve tried to warn the LGBT community that marriage was a shitty deal, but you fucks refuse to listen, so now I want you to get exactly what you’re asking for, because that’s the only way men will get what I’m asking for. The system is broken people, take off your Elton John rose colored glasses and try to see what the fuck I’m saying.  Read the comments on this blog and others like it.  You don’t want this.

However, since the gay community seems to think they know more than the rest of us, fuck em.  I look forward to the day when some crying cunt in on the Today show talking about how her ex-wife took her for everything she owned.  Welcome to our world cunt.

You’re now free to do whatever the fuck you want.

Brasil ass rocks

Posted in marriage sucks, Politics, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Scientists Discover Living Dinosaur!!!!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 1, 2013


Fossil

CUNT-O-SORE-ASS. 

They believe it to be carnivorous and dangerous to approach.  It you see one make sure you head in the opposite direction and do NOT make eye contact with it!

Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Happy Marc Rudov Day!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 14, 2011


What’s up fuckers, I found this over at ScareCrow’s site. An awesome vid about feminism.  Well worth the time to check out and while you’re at it check out Marc’s site.  I’ve been listening to the radio archive section where you can hear some recent interviews about NO-mance Day, or as it should be called……Marc Rudov Day!


As ScareCrow would say…”SHOW DICK SOME RESPECT!”

The Story of Feminism–as told by WOMEN from maxtll on Vimeo.


Posted in money, relationship, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

I Want More Money Because I Have A Gaping Hole Between My Legs!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 2, 2011


This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard you fuckers!

So this is what I hear at work today…….”I deserve a raise, this place is lucky to have me, blah, blah, I’m a stupid bitch blah, blah, blah.”

A little bastupid bitchckground on this chick:

  • Likes to leave the office early claiming she’s going to “work from home”.
  • Takes frequent mental health days.
  • Claims she knows more about the company than everyone else in the office, more than the board, more than the founders of the company, more than god.
  • Has to ask a million stupid ass questions every time she’s in a meeting just to try and show everyone how “smart” she is.

Well dear, here’s the truth, YOU are lucky that the company has kept you.  YOU are fucking lucky to even have a job since if you did get fired you’d be out on your ass without any education to back you up.  YOU might try showing the fuck up to work and staying your ever-widening ass in your fucking for a full goddamn day. 

The glass ceiling does exist, BUT it’s a self-imposed glass ceiling.  Your life is a result of your decisions girls.  If you choose to have kids in order to lock into a man’s wallet then don’t expect to be vice president or director.  People in those positions have to show up to work……….every day…………sometimes our days off (actually at this level there are no days off really).

Business is not the fucking Special Olympics, sorry Sarah Palin no free pass on this one.  Girls if you want the same results as men in the work place then you need to put in the same amount of effort.  Until then shut your goddamn tuna hole!

You’re now free to shit in the park.

beach ass

Posted in money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

The Next Generation of Beaten Dogs

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 16, 2010


This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers.

So I made a comment on a site about Marriage 2.0 (no not the Spearhead article).  My response was simply that there is no benefit to a man to get married, because there isn’t.  The following is a response I received to my comment.  I of course interjected my alcohol fueled commentary highlighted in red.

I’m not naming this person because this young man represents a lot of young guys that have grown up with the internet and probably have little or no interpersonal skills out in the real world.   Enjoy fuckers.

mangina

  • Marriage actually guarantees quite a bit, for those who are willing to make the sacrifice and do for more than themselves. Sounds like a recipe to get fucked!

  • Marriage guarantees that you will: have the opportunity to grow in selflessness, be able to have a more keen sense of self and others, understand the intricacies of other people centeredness, What? You have to have a mommy to help you be a better person, you can’t grow on your own?

  • have a family of your own, grow in emotional intelligence, increase your income and your wealth, Whoa!  Stop right the fuck there nitwit.  Unless you’re a loser marriage does not increase your wealth, especially when you live in a community property state as most of us do.  Talk to some guys who are paying out the ass in child support for kids she wanted and alimony to her while she’s shacked up with her next victim. Ok, let’s continue on…

  • enjoy the benefits of a consistent and fulfilling sex life, Holy diluted sense of how the real world works Batman!  What the fuck do we have here!!!  This kid needs to talk to some of the guys he works with that’s been married for a few years.  I don’t know of any married guys talking about how their sex life kicks ass or how after they signed on the dotted line how she keeps herself in tip top shape.  In fact, we hear the exact opposite.  Sure there are some guys who get it regularly but even then you’re getting the same old tired shit regularly.,

  • have companionship and loyalty, Loyalty?  Women initiate 70% of divorces.

  • build a true home, see the world, build your local community, provide assistance to kids who don’t have a home, and take out the garbage. Take out the garbage?  That’s the best you can come up with for a benefit?
    Who wouldn’t want to try that?!

  • I was once a single male. Not much out there. This where the real problem surfaces for this young man.  He was probably raised by a single mother who taught him to be a nice guy and we all know how much nice guys get laid.  So then he finally found someone with a vagina who would give him the time of day he jumped in with both feet, overlooking all her faults because he was just desperate and without options.

 

  • You take a risk either way. If you’re not dating a woman you date your job. If you’re dating someone that you like, but don’t want to get married to, you never have a fulfilling relationship outside of sex. If she wants to be with you and not get married as well, you move in together and then you have a psuedo-marriage. Never live with a bitch!!

 

  • So the benefit there, is that you don’t have to come up with lawyer fees, but you have to find a security deposit for your next apartment…lol. Which isn’t hard if you have a career, give up your dream of being a shift manager at Wendy’s and you might be able to afford the security deposit.

You are now free to send cock pics to random chicks.  You know they like it.

Posted in Marriage | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Expired Cunt Wants Me To Pay For Old Vagina!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 18, 2010


This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!!

A while back I talked about my lack of interest in my class reunion, however I eventually decided to go along with some good friends of mine who I still keep in touch with. There was also a particular female “friend” there also that I have been conversing with via email before the reunion.

This particular woman is someone who I had an interest in back in high school but was unsuccessful in banging her back then. Even after graduation I’d run into her every now and they, we even went to dinner back before I knew any better. Of course back then she was in her twenties and no doubt had plenty of offers rolling in while at that point in my life I had a blue collar job making a shitty hourly wage.

Fast-forward 3 kids and 2 different fathers later for her and an MBA and good paying job for me…………….and what do you know. When we started talking this time there was a spark!! Love is in the goddamn stankin’ air!! Imagine that! But wait folks, that’s not all. She even confessed that she liked me back in school too! Oh happy happy joy joy!!! Then she told me that she wished I had asked her out back then!!

Hang on a second………..I detect a flaw in the slaw here.  For fuck sake I tried, I did shit I’d never do now to get that pussy! It was not lack of effort on my part! Don’t you just love how women twist shit around? Let’s take a look at what really went the fuck on.

THEN:then

NOW:now

 

In her 20s she was getting all kinds of offers and little Miss Princess could be as picky as she wanted! But now that her ass is knocking on 40 with “multiple baby daddy syndrome” kicking her in the teeth………..she suddenly has a change of heart. Thank goodness my lucky stars!! Oh, did I mention that this chick doesn’t have any kind of career or education to fall back on; her 401k is finding a guy (sucker) to lock in and make him pay!! Speaking of paying, do I even have to mention that one of the father’s is a loser who doesn’t pay child support? Big surprise I know.

Now that all the good prospects have dried up, oh yes now she wants me to come in with my Captain Save-A-Hoe cape and pay all the bills. Pay for the fun all other guys had who got her in her prime, back when the ass was still firm, the tits pointed straight ahead and the pussy was still tight. Yes, now she wants a one on one serious relationship.

To quote an old Saturday Night Live skit…..”Isn’t that special!”

You are now free to bang hookers in Europe.

Posted in money, relationship, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

What Kind Of Fuckery Is This???

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 14, 2010


This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Check this shit out, I’ll drink a beer while I wait….

First off, let me say something to this guy that he probably never heard from his wife.  Thank you.  Thank you for your service to this country.

So this guy has to pay over thirty grand in alimony for the rest of her life, plus another ten grand for child support.  I mean his ex-wife who is a fucking nurse gets half of his military retirement?  What the fuck for?  Why didn’t she have her own retirement?  What happened to all this equality bullshit.  Oh that’s right, women only want to be equal when it suits them, the rest of the time the bitches want to play the victim.

Now this guy is much nicer than me, no surprise there.  I do NOT agree that she is entitled to his military retirement.  In fact, in today’s society if a woman chooses to depend on a man and ends up with nothing then she should get nothing, because here in the grown-up world we have to live with the consequences of our decisions girls.  Crazy concept, I know.  There should NEVER be alimony!! 

At the very least if you don’t have a job, then no alimony check and no child support check.  If you can’t hold down a goddamn job then you don’t deserve to take money from someone who can, you lazy cunt!  Go fuck yourself.

At least if I get a professional hooker she tells me upfront how much money she’s going to take, which is 1000 times more honest than 99.999999999% of American Women.

You’re now free to hire a professional. 

 

 

Posted in Marriage, money, relationship, women | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Alimony: A Lottery

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 4, 2010


Posted in Marriage, money | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Too Good to be True???

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 2, 2010


This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Sometimes you have to take these bitches with a grain of salt.  Yes even my sarcastic ass knows that not ALL American women are fucked up, just 99.99999% of them are.  So there is a chance that I might meet one that is cool, just like there’s a chance I might win Power Ball, catch a unicorn or shit a golden turd.

So what happens when you meet that one that’s fan-fucking-tastic!!!  I mean she’s great, cool to hang with, likes your friends, and of course sucks the fucking color off your dick!  To quote the great philosopher Kenny Loggins, this is when you are in “The Danger Zone”.  This is when you can get easily distracted by her firm ass and excellent oral communication skills.

Don’t let your guard down gentlemen!  Take a step back and evaluate the situation as if you were giving advice to one of your drinking buds.   It will give you a much better picture of what you really have on your hands.  Recently, I’ve found myself in this same exact situation and when I did step back and mulled things over with my good friend Johnnie Walker here are some of the red flags that I found whipping in the wind.

Multiple kids, multiple fathers. (who don’t pay child support)
Previous “serious” relationship was abusive.
Complains about not finding any “good” men.
Radical spike in interest after learning of career path
Lots of male friends, very few female friends.
No goals, career or otherwise.  (waiting on Prince Charming)

    The list goes on, but you get the picture.  It’s easy to ignore the warning signs when someone is swallowing your load; especially when they do their best to hide them. Until next time fuckers.

    You’re now free to drink scotch on the rocks.

    Posted in sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

    GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 30, 2010


    Nothing like drunk emailing some skanks you bang on the side.  Goddamn you Alcohol!!!  You win this round, but I’ll be back tomorrow!!!!!


    Posted in pua, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

     
    %d bloggers like this: