Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘dads’

Time and Time Again

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 26, 2011

This is your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers!

So how many of you have gotten the “don’t give up” speech when you’ve said that you will NEVER get married again?  Usually from a woman of course, which makes sense since most women suck at math.

Statistics vary but it’s pretty well accepted that around 2/3 of all second marriages fail and 3/4 of all third marriages fail.  Oh yes, you’re smarter this time, right?  You sure are Skippy, just like you thought the first time you got on this merry-go-round that you’d be in the 50% of first marriages that didn’t fail. 

Listen, leave the fucking gambling to the guys in the World SerLawyersies of Poker….(or is it Poke-Her?)

You need to ask yourself why you are even considering this, when you get your answer then you solve THAT particular problem instead of fucking yourself in the ass a second or third time in court.  If you love lawyers that much then take yo azz to law skool!!! 

If you are a broke fuck and chubby Diana is the only one that will fuck you then get your shit straight and stop being a loser.  If you were never a ladies man and you’re worried that it will be worse now that your older…..well read up on some game.  Not that game is the end-all be-all, but it’s a starting point if you don’t have a shit-fuck clue.  Go check out some guys like Assanova or the dozens of other blogs out there. 

If SHE is pushing you then you really need to ask why!  Is she in debt?  Is she tired of staying in shape to attract a man and she can’t wait to pork up to 563lbs, is she one of those women who claims that she’s “already had her fun” and now wants you to foot the bill?  A chick with no life plan, no retirement (except you), no career, no life savings?

If that’s the case then fuck her (don’t knock the bitch up) until she moves on to another sucker.  You just keep looking out for you because in the end that’s who has to live with your choices, YOU, numbnuts.

You’re now free smoke in the cabin and yell “BITCHES AIN’T SHIT!”



Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Half-Assed Happy Father’s Day

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 20, 2010

This……….is your Captain speaking.    Welcome aboard fuckers!

I’m guessing I’m not the only one who has logged on to their FaceBook account today to see all the Father’s Day comments only to notice the striking difference between the comments for Father’s Day and the type of comments for Mother’s Day.

Today I saw a lot of “disclaimers” on the comments like saying that this only applies to “real men” and so on.  I saw no mention of “real women” on Mother’s Day.  I also saw a lot of bitching by women about deadbeat dads.

Ladies, the only reason we have deadbeat dads is because you continue to have babies with deadbeats.  You also have to understand that if you try to make a guy stay with you by getting pregnant, chances are he’ll haul ass.

Or if a condom breaks, that’s not “God’s” way of telling you to have a kid, that’s a fucking defect in the condom!!  If you decide on your own to bring that baby into the world against the guys wishes then don’t bitch when he’s not out there throwing baseballs back and forth with little waterhead.   And let’s be honest, you should know ahead of time what kind of guy you’re fucking.  Usually if you question a woman enough, she soon admits that the guy was a loser when she met him but she thought her magic vagina would change him.

I saw numerous comments about guys getting women pregnant and leaving, well ladies you have around a dozen forms of birth control and on top of that you have morning after pills and abortion.   You can accidentally get pregnant, but there’s no such thing as an accidental birth.

If a guy were to give women the same types of slick comments on Mother’s Day, he’d be publicly skewed!!  As Marc Rudov says, we have an 11th commandment in this country, “Thou Shall not Criticize a Woman”

You’re now free to smoke in the bathrooms.

Posted in Marriage, money, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments »

Never say never? Well fuck you Cunt!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 25, 2009

This is your Captain speaking…..

“Never say never”, a phrase I hear often in connection with the prospect of remarrying. I wonder…..exactly how many times do you have get screwed by something to realize that it’s not working. Although I can see why women have this attitude, they have nothing to lose from marriage, they get to leave at the very worst, the same they came into the marriage. Now how many guys can say that?

But to be fair, not everyone was telling me to “never say never”. Of course the men understand, or at least the ones who are good with women understand, the manginas and pussy-beggars (to borrow a phrase from Thugtician), those guys view marriage as their only chance to get laid, as if marriage was ever good for that.

However my female friends and coworkers are actually split on this often touted advice on remarriage. When I looked at who said what, it broke down nicely into two distinct groups. The hotter and younger women agreed, which makes sense because they are in their prime also and for now, have no shortage of men at their disposal, so no surprise that they are not worried about things. The other group, the group that clings to marriage even though several of them are failures in marriage (divorced), they have at least one or more of the following attributes. Over 30, overweight, average or below average looks, uneducated, and/or no career (needs a provider).

So basically the only ones who believe in marriage are the men and women who have no other options. Some things you can say “never” to. Show me a person who doesn’t ever say “never” and I will show you a person who is not a leader. I’ll show you someone who cannot make their own decisions. I’ll show you a loser.

You are now free to move about the fucking cabin.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

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