Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘dick’

Shit To Read A.K.A. My Half-Assed Blog Review

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 6, 2011


                   feminism 1

This is your Captain speaking……….welcome aboard fuckers!

Ok, I have a shit-ton of shit in my blogroll.  Some stuff if quite different than what you will read here and that’s by design.  I figure no use in linking to a bunch of carbon copies of the same ole shit.  As my pile of blogroll shit gets stacked higher and higher it could become difficult to notice new shit.

Hence, my half-assed blog review.

I found one funny ass blog a while back. Men-Factor.  Not just a funny blog but also a very truthful one, which makes sense since great humor is often based off well known truths.  I laughed so hard at that particular post I had to run outside and shit in the neighbor’s front yard.  Because it’s oh so funny and oh so true.

So take some time to check out the Scarecrow’s blog, Men-Factor and show DICK some respect!

You’re now free to go aimlessly fuck around Al Gore’s internet

I told you this review shit was half assed…………..


 

Posted in Marriage, money, relationship, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Female Sexual Prime Myth?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 1, 2009


This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers!

OK, I’m sick and tired of listening to these overweight middle aged broads talk about how they are in their “sexual prime” and that men their age can’t keep up.  For now, let’s ignore the fact that the simple sight of the average American woman naked is not a pretty sight and would be an instant boner killer.

Everyone knows that women are at their hottest the second that they turn 18 and it goes downhill from there.  However when they are young, they are getting plenty of attention from guys.  Its ATTENTION that women crave and when they’re young they can get lots of it without much trouble.  It’s been said by countless others and its worth repeating:

WOMEN ARE ATTENTION WHORES!


typical  30-something American woman

Fast forward 10 years and 55 pounds later and Ms. Fat and Sassy is finding that she’s about as desirable as a used turd at a yard sale.  Guys her age can afford chicks much younger and hotter.  The attention train has derailed for her.  So to combat this and to fill the never-ending Western Female ego, this idea that they are in their sexual prime was started.

Because sex is the only thing that they have left.  Now that their looks have vanished its their last and only card left to play.  Some guys will bang anything, mainly broke guys.  But for a woman, attention is attention and they don’t care where or how they get it.

The sexual peak thing is just another example of how women want their cake and eat it too.  They can’t accept the fact that as they age, they have less of what men want and as men age, we have more of what women want.

So they make up some shit to make themselves feel better because the last thing that any woman wants to hear is the truth!

You are now free to piss on a fat girl’s french fries.


Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Beware the Rebound Piece of Ass!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 20, 2009


This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!

Tonight’s entry is sponsored by Busch…..in the Real-Tree camo can.  That means no one can see me drink.  I’m stealth drinking motherfuckers!

Listen, although I love reading different MRA blogs and websites, I do not consider myself in that league of elite thinkers.  I’m just a regular guy who fucked up and got married.  My opinions mostly come from personal experiences and observations.  Now on to the bullshit!

At some point, either during or after a marriage/ltr, you’re gonna need a piece of ass.  What you won’t be aware of is just how rusty you will be.  I don’t really mean your skills about seducing some bitch, I’m talking about your skills governing the selection of that bitch.

It happens in all areas, MMA fighters talk about “cage rust” when they haven’t fought in a while and we all know that playing “the game” is a lot like combat.  What we forget is the little things.  Not the big red flags, but the smaller, less obvious signs that a certain bitch just isn’t worth it.  One of the things that can hinder your skills is when you are going through a shit-hole of a relationship yourself.  Hating having to come home every night will no doubt throw off even the most seasoned players game.

Mental illness is one of the trickiest things to sus out early on because so many women have gotten good at hiding it in the beginning.  Of course the signs become clear in hindsight and you want to kick yourself for not seeing it.  Here’s how I fucked up…….

A “friend” of mine (not a co-worker!!) recently went through a divorce.  She spent all her time talking to anyone who would listen about how bad her ex was.  Looking back, here’s the mental illness clue that I missed.  She said “He left me for an unattractive fat bitch”.

Now this “friend” isn’t smoking hot by any stretch of the imagination.  She’s a three quart girl at least.  By that I mean you need to drink at least three quarts of some old school Colt 45 before you’d consider fucking this bitch.  So if after 10+ years, this guy bolts to a fat chick, what the fuck is up with that?

Well, my dumbass found out.  She was great at first, she was one of those cool chicks that were fun to hang with, drank beer and sucked dick like a fucking machine!

I quickly found out how crazy she was when I sobered up and decided that my rebound phase was over.  In the standard line, she accused me of taking advantage of her.  Keep in mind that normally she likes to talk about how fucking “smart” she is, but suddenly Ms Genius got “taken advantage of”.  She isn’t that kind of girl, she’s never done that before, blah, blah, blah, you’ve heard it all before, all the fucking excuses.

I am amazed that her ex hung in there as long as he did.  This chick is a major drama queen, if something isn’t happening, then she manufactures something out of thin air.  In typical American fashion, this bitch has an over-inflated sense of entitlement.  To call her a muffin top would be an insult to muffin tops, yet she thinks she’s hot as she continues to pile on the pounds.

This bitch is one of the most manic depressive bipolar fucked up lame-brain bitches I’ve ever seen.

Talk about jumping into the cold water!  My spider senses are back now, I’m sniffing out mental illness every fucking where after this bullshit!  Luckily I was smart enough to not let this bitch know where I live!!!!  Holy worn out pieces of ass Batman!!!!!

So fellas, learn from my fuck up.  Take time to warm up and get yourself right.  Stay away from the three quart girls!!   Especially on the nights that you’ve drank three quarts!!

Forty ounces to Freedom Fuckers!

You are now free to drink about the cabin!

Posted in Marriage, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Brown Sugar Bullshit!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 11, 2009


This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers.

Tonight I came across a bowl full of crap in the form of a blog from “Brown Sugar”, its a blog that gives so-called advice to black women and in this rant she tries to explain why women with advanced degrees can’t find any men in their income bracket.   Total shit sandwich.

So often I hear from black women who have advanced or professional degrees that dating is hard out here for an educated black girl.

It seems there are many men who don’t find a super accomplished woman appealing. Or to be blunt about it, they’re just scared of a woman who may be smarter, more accomplished and (gasp) make more money they do.

So often however, when this topic comes up the men and their female apologists are quick to holler at the top of their lungs: THAT”S NOT THE CASE!!!!!!!  No they say, it’s the women who are the problem. These over educated sistas beleive their degrees should qualify them for wife status. They are leading with their degrees instead of being nice and flirty and smiling – ’cause of course we know that a woman needs to smile to get a man to say hello to her.

Actually women ARE the fucking problem.  Most of them are HUGE, plus-sized problems.

The truth is there are PLENTY of men who are intimidated by an intelligent, accomplished, successful woman. Many men want to feel like the King in their relationship an that can be difficult when their Quenn is better educated and making more dough than the King. There’s a reason why you see many successful, well off men with less accomplished women. The hot shot man cheating with his secretary, the nanny or his Argentinian mistress on his equally yoked wife is such a common occurrence we’re not even surprised by it anymore.

“Less accomplished” or hot?  I believe the word this cunt was looking for was hot.  That’s what successful men want and that’s the kind of women success brings, why would we settle for something less?

So yes, I think may black women are finding themselves at a disadvantage in the dating world when the step out in all of their educated, successful career glory. However I would ask if the guy who has a problem with ambitious, accomplished women is the guy you really want? I mean think about it: this guy feels so threatened by a woman who has her own that he would avoid them at all costs., why are you upset that he’s not talking to you? Is this the type of guy you really want?

Ambitious? About what?  Using up all their sick time by the end of January?

Just as there are plenty of men who find the idea of dating a woman as accomplished than they are repugnant there are plenty who see that as a requirement in any woman they date. The intelligent ambitious gal is the one they want. They want a woman who can match their own fire and see that as an asset not a liability. These are they type of me you want to date, this is where you want to focus your energy. And if you feel you’re always meeting the guys who have problems with your level of education and success, you need to find other places to hang out.

Ok enough of this overweight cunt, the bottom line is that women with advanced degrees are usually just plain fucking ugly.  Let’s be honest, I didn’t see a lot of hot chicks in my MBA classes, usually average or way, way below fucking average.  Ugly women have more time to study because they aren’t being bothered by guys to go out on dates.  They have the extra time to hit the books!

If they think that we want to have sex with their overbearing, overweight asses, then to borrow a line from Judas Priest “You’ve got another thing comming”

You are now free to move about the fucking cabin!

Posted in money, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

To all the “woman-haters” out there!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 4, 2009


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers…..

I’ve spoken before about how certain over the hill female “friends” of mine have told me that I hate women.  Why?  Because I said that marriage holds NO benefit for men and that I will NEVER  get married again.

Yes, because I don’t want to risk financial ruin, I am a woman hater.  They never list any logical reasons why my statement is false, they simply attack me as a woman hater.  Funny how they’ll still have sex with such a woman hater and funny how someone who “hates” women is still banging away.

It’s also curious as to how it’s always the over 30, beyond their sell-by-date bitches that are making all these comments.  I’m sure because I don’t like cunts who just let themselves go, I’m sure that makes me a woman hater too.  I guess that I should lower my standards and look past all the younger, hotter, less drama chicks and bang chicks my own age.

Yeah right!  Fuck these Sex In The City, out of shape, droopy assed, saggy vomit-filled sock puppet tit whores!

Just another example of how women are incapable of using logic.  Just another example of how American women are living in a fantasy world where they are the queen of their castle.  More like queen of the fucking double wide!  Most American women are nothing more than glorified trailer trash.  Let’s take out the trash gentlemen!

Hump and Dump!  No living with these bitches!  No babies!  Follow your dreams and goals!  You’ll have more pussy than you know what to do with!  If wanting a great life that I enjoy makes me a woman hater, then so fucking be it.  Fucking cunts!  They complain about guys just wanting pussy, hasn’t it dawned on them that’s because that’s all these cunts have to offer?

Ask a woman about her opinion of small cap vs mid cap stocks.  Ask her about which front the military should focus on in the war on terror.  Sex is all women are good for.  Just treat it like a urinal, use them and get the fuck out!

Rock on fuckers!

You’re now free to move about the fucking cabin!



Posted in Marriage, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

To the young guys.

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 19, 2009


This is your Captain speaking……….welcome aboard fuckers.

This is a message for all the younger guys out there.  I know it sucks because attractive women your age are not giving you the time of day right now, but trust me.  Keep working on your career and your dreams and you will be amazed at how great your life will be.  You have NO idea how successful you can or will be when you’re 19, 20 or even 25.  The last thing you want to do is to get bogged down with some bitch and even worse if you knock the bitch up.

I’m not saying that you have to pay for pussy like a hooker, although there is some truth to that, but what I’m saying is that the more successful you become, the more doors will open and the more options you will have in your life.  Not just with women, but with every aspect of your life.

It kills me to see young guys settle for some local piece of ass that they knocked up and end up giving up all their hopes and dreams, just to slave away to support some bitch and “do the right thing”.  Well, that’s the wrong fucking thing gentlemen!

Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by settling down with your highschool sweetheart.  Don’t date single mothers and do not have a serious relationship until AFTER you have realized your dreams.  Even then, a serious relationship offers no benefits to a guy that he cant get by banging multiple women.

Stay true to yourselves guys, don’t fall into the money pit of marriage and kids.  Live your life the way that you want it and not how some bitch is nagging you to live it.

Until next time fuckers.

You’re now free to move about Wall Street.

Posted in Marriage, money, pua, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Cunts are never happy!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 10, 2009


This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers.

There’s an old guy from Brooklyn on YouTube who did a video about how no matter what you do for a woman, it’s never good enough.  Well, the Kid from Brooklyn is right!

When I married my wife I was working a blue collar job and going to school.  Of  course AFTER the marriage she loved to tell me how my back-breaking labor and attending class didn’t compare to her government office job.  Why?  Because she had to supervise 3 or 4 people.  Nice huh.

Now I’m going to school full-time to get my MBA and I work full time in the financial industry making 3 times as much as I did then and guess what?  Yes, her low level government job is sooooooo much more stressfull than my full time job and student status.

They’re never fucking happy, they never lose that bullshit victim mentality.  Not to mention the fact that when she talks to her jabber-jaw fucking friends, she tries to take credit for what I’ve done.  Nevermind the fucking fact that I can’t even study in my own home.

That’s right, its just like on Sundays fellas, you’ve been there when its game time and that’s when she decides to fire up the vaccum.  Its passive aggressive bullshit like that, always interupting, complaining about some stupid shit, anything to keep me from doing my work but yet the bitch wants to take fucking credit.

Having a wife has been a handicap when it comes to my career and my education.  Hands fucking down!

Don’t make the same mistake I made guys.  If you aren’t meeting the women that you want to meet, look up some PUA information, its everywhere on the web and it does work.  DO NOT FUCKING SETTLE!!!!

divorce


It make take me a minute to get out, but I am getting the fuck out of this mess and I am NEVER getting married or living with a bitch ever again!

You’re now free to do shots about the cabin……

Posted in Marriage, pua, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Bitches Gone Wild!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 5, 2009


This is your Captain speaking……… welcome aboard fuckers.

Ever notice that whenever a woman does something wrong that there is always an excuse?  How many times have you heard phrases like “It’s not my fault, I’m just really sensitive right now..”, or “I’m hormonal”, the list goes on and on.  They always have some excuse for their bad behavior, for acting like a child or just plain being a cunt.


STFU-Bitch_do_you


One of their favorite tools is “Backward Rationalizing”, where she does something then rationalizes it after the fact.   Have you ever had sex with a broad and afterwards she blames alcohol, or her emotional state (horny?), or one of women’s favorites is the man “tricked” them.

Wait……tricked them?  How is that possible ladies?

What happened to being so smart, independent, intelligent and all that other crap you talk nonstop about?   What about that women’s intuition that you love to go on and on about, isn’t that “never” wrong?  And aren’t all men just stupid dogs lead around by our cocks?  How could we possible fool oh so high woman?

Here’s the other part that’s complete bullshit.  Men are just suppose to accept a woman’s bad and/or childish behavior and not say or do anything about it.  We’re just suppose to accept their snide remarks and redundant  questions.

Fuck that!  Women are like urinals…….no wait, most urinals are probably a lot cleaner and have had a lot less visitors.     Ok, women are like a port-a-potty.   You should  just hold your breath, use them and get the fuck out!

toilet


You are now free to fuck about the cabin……..

Posted in sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

So What are You Missing Out On?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 22, 2009


This is your Captain speaking and once again……………….Welcome Aboard Fuckers!!!

This one goes out to all the guys who are married, living with, or have a steady girlfriend.  I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “Don’t let life pass you by”, but that’s exactly what we’re doing gentlemen.  Getting married is letting life pass you by at the speed of light.  Let’s start with the obvious stuff that passes by….

Can you even count the number of cute waitresses that have passed you by?

hot waitress

And let’s not forget the cute cashier…..

flo

But of course we all realize the mistake we’ve made in choosing just one woman and all the opportunities that pass us by everyday.  But there’s others, like what if you feel like stopping by a few gun shops, or just drive to the beach without having to pack half the garage with you, or stop by a friends house for a few beers, or just being able to spend your days the way that YOU want to spend them.  Now that is where life is passing us by.

Being married is like living with your parents when you were 13, you know that if you stay out too late, you’re in trouble, and don’t forget to check in.

nag, nag, nag

Nag, nag, fucking nag, that’s what we listen too while our lives are passing us by.  It’s time for this to stop gentlemen.  I know it’s not always as easy as throwing your shit in your car, we can thank our legal system for that.  But make a plan, put away a few bucks here and there, being active and actually doing something to plot out your escape will be liberating just by itself.

Life is out there waiting for us, haven’t we let enough of it pass by?

You are now free to drink about my ballsack.

Posted in Marriage, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Is She a Regular, or just in-between suckers?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 21, 2009


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers…….

As a long standing member of Gold’s gym, I have seen countless people start and eventually stop their workout habits.  I have become pretty accurate over the years of predicting how long someone will hang in there.

One interesting occurrence is how you will see certain women join the gym, you can tell that they have been neglecting trying to keep themselves up for a while.  But to their credit, they will work their fat asses off to the point where they are looking pretty bang-able.

Then they suddenly disappear.  They just stop going.  Their workout partner isn’t sure what happen, they’re just a no-show.  So one day, usually several months even a year or so later you see this overweight female who looks kinda familiar………….”but it can’t be the chick I’m thinking of” , you say to yourself.  But sure enough, it’s her.

overweight-woman-treadmill-150

She worked out long enough to reel in the next sucker, then her lazy ass quit working out.  Typical bait and switch, dog-n-pony show that American women are famous for.  You think you are getting a woman who takes pride in her appearance, then WHAM, the lazy cunt reveals her true lazy colors.

Of course, the reason is that she’s “comfortable” and you should like her for more than her body, even though it was the body that got your attention in the first place.

This is just like women who lose weight for their wedding day and then pork back up once the guy is locked into the marriage contract.  Then they wonder why the guy cheats.  Of course he’ll cheat, he feels duped and he was duped!!  He thought he was getting one thing but wound up with something completely different and fatter.

So if you see a chick in the gym or meet a women on the street or where ever, how can you tell is she really works out or is she is just between suckers and is only faking it until someone takes the bait?

One good way is to look at her shoulders and arms.  For women, these areas take a while to get nice tone, plus it requires attention to diet too.  Now I’m not saying she has to have arms like Arnold, but toned.  The fact that it takes a while to attain this toned look means that she is not one of those people who work out when things are “right”.  If she has a toned upper body then she’s been working out through thick and thin and not just when its convenient or when the planets are aligned.

woman_lifting_weights

Don’t be fooled by a nice body with no tone, unless you are in it for the short term, then it doesn’t matter, you can just tap the ass while she looks hot and kick her man-cow looking ass to the curb when she starts packing on the pounds.

You should never depend on one woman for your sexual needs, that’s one of many reasons why marriage is such a bad deal for men.

Strike while the ass is hot fellas, hump em’ and dump em’!

You’re now free to move about the gym….

Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

 
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