Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘divorce’

Work From Anywhere!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 18, 2016


This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers!!

Don’t worry about the title of this post, I won’t be trying to sell you on the latest MLM to come down the pike.  I am going to take a minute to offer some drunk advice that can apply to any age but especially for the 20-somethings.

I don’t have to tell you that it’s easier than ever to have some kind of income producing business online.  You’ve probably already read countless articles and watch youtube videos about all the benefits of not having a 9-5 and being tied to a job at a specific location.

Well here’s one benefit all the gurus probably failed to mention.  It’s a way to make sure you never get stuck having some broad’s hand in your wallet.  This isn’t about manning up or any of that bullshit.  I’m talking about you keeping your money and not paying it to some chick you banged, even if you were dumb enough to marry the bitch.

If you have a regular job here in Merica, the nanny state will ass rape you in the public square and garnish your wages.  Your employer will gladly go along with the scheme because at that moment they know you’re fucked and even more of a slave to the company than you were before.

However, if you make your money online you don’t have to have any connections to the US.  You can smile at the judge, not say a word and pick up your shit and move.  No you don’t have to live with pirates in Somalia, there are plenty of desirable places you can park your ass and your money out of reach from money-grubbing bitches.  I’m not going to list them because…..well…….Google.

What I’m saying is even if you don’t have to use the nuclear option of leaving the country to avoid paying some broad it still gives you freedom.  Even if you just have a skill that can be used in another country.  I know this sounds totally crazy to some people but if you ever find yourself in a courtroom and the judge is telling you how much you are going to be paying in alimony to some chick, possibly for life, it won’t sound so fucking crazy then.  It doesn’t sound crazy to the guy who isn’t seeing his kids because his ex called 911 on him before he even got home from work and found the police waiting for him.  It doesn’t sound crazy when suddenly it becomes your only option to live a decent life.

You’re now free to move about the globe.

Posted in avoid marriage, money, Uncategorized, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

You Piece of Shit with Your Work Addiction!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 29, 2015


don't get married

This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Well the Huff-Vagina-Post website has taken yet another massive shit.  Check it out here.  An article about how staying in a bad marriage is a bad idea, which sounds pretty right? I mean who wants to stay in a shitty marriage?

But hang on a second fuckers, what does the author not like about her marriage that is making her so miserable after 17years?  What pain is she having to endure, what sacrifices, what misery?  Is her husband abusive?  Does he beat the dog shit out of her when ever his Kraft mac-n-cheese is cold when he gets home?  Does he call her names in front of the Pope?  Is he fucking her one hot friend behind her back?

Nope, he works his ass off to support her and the two kids she wanted.  Yep that’s it.  No seriously, that’s it!!!  That’s her complaint. In fact, here’s the quote:

“My soul was dying, slowly, subtly in my dysfunctional marriage. He had betrayed me with his work addiction and his emotional absence from our lives.”

Are

You

Shitting

Me!!!!!!!

Her soul was dying???  He betrayed her….by working???  Are you guys listening, this poor bastard was working his dick off for this entitled princess and she turned around and used that against him as grounds for not just divorce, but to blast him for the whole world to see how he made her miserable.  The title of the article describes her marriage as a “true tragedy”. 

Funny how this hit her just after her second child turned a year old.  Crazy how that tends to work, now that she has him on the hook for a nice annuity, NOW suddenly she’s unhappy.  Now her heart cries out in agony and strife. 

This what awaits you in a marriage these days.  Don’t look at what your parents or grandparents did, they literally got married in a different century.  THIS is the steaming pile of shit that you have to deal with today as a man.  You can bust your ass to give your little princess everything she ever asked for and more and she’s still not happy.

While I’m not surprised in any form or fashion by this article, it still pisses me the fuck off and it should piss you the fuck off too!  The only thing this guy could have done is to not get married (and a vasectomy is always a good idea).  This dude was fucked right out of the gate, he never had a chance and he probably never even knew it.  He thought he was doing what he was “supposed” to do. 

Guys, don’t do it, just don’t fucking do it.  If you don’t believe me then just head on over to the Tom Leykis show and listen for a spell.  Every other Tuesday he has attorney Adam Sacks on to discuss family law.  If you only listen to that hour of the show it will save your goddamn life!

That’s all for now, I got a bottle of scotch to finish polishing off.  Later fuckers.

You’re now free to opt out of marriage.

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , | 7 Comments »

Trends

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 10, 2011


This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Lots of divorce stories in the news this week.  I can’t help to notice a trend in some of the celebrity divorces coming about. 

Take Charlie Sheen for example, married in 2008, now has to pay $55hospital nursery,000 a month, yes a fucking MONTH!!!….for child support.  Ashlee Simpson also filed for divorce after her 3 year marriage but not before she found time to shit out a kid also.  

Now this not just a celebrity deal, I see it all the time.  Woman goes from being perfect girlfriend to never happy bitch wife and is knocked up, by accident of course within the first year of the marriage.  Then before the kid even is barely out of diapers the couple some how “grows apart”. 

A lot of times if the guy is well off, she’ll crank out two or three kids in rapid succession, be a stay at home mom and secure both a healthy alimony and child support payment from the poor sucker who married her ever expanding ass.

don't want kidsTom Leykis used to tell his listeners to wait until you’ve been married 5 years before you have kids.  That is of course if you were just determined to be married and to raise a family, children were the only reason he’d ever be ok with marriage however he would still point out that while it was good for the child it was still not good for the man.  I completely agree.

I also agree with waiting 5 years.  Just think of all the relationships that were in the shitter by year 3 or 4!!  I know lots of guys whose wives conveniently got knocked up right before they decided they wanted a divorce.  Leaving the guy stuck paying an 18 year annuity, tax free for her!!

Gentlemen, your sperm are like blank checks or a debit card with the pin written on the back.  Actually worse because if a thief steals your debit card he can only get what’s in there today.  If a woman gets a hold of your sperm she gets her claws into what you have for the next two decades!!!!

You’re now free to blow a load in her eye.

 

nice beach ass

 

Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Time and Time Again

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 26, 2011


This is your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers!

So how many of you have gotten the “don’t give up” speech when you’ve said that you will NEVER get married again?  Usually from a woman of course, which makes sense since most women suck at math.

Statistics vary but it’s pretty well accepted that around 2/3 of all second marriages fail and 3/4 of all third marriages fail.  Oh yes, you’re smarter this time, right?  You sure are Skippy, just like you thought the first time you got on this merry-go-round that you’d be in the 50% of first marriages that didn’t fail. 

Listen, leave the fucking gambling to the guys in the World SerLawyersies of Poker….(or is it Poke-Her?)

You need to ask yourself why you are even considering this, when you get your answer then you solve THAT particular problem instead of fucking yourself in the ass a second or third time in court.  If you love lawyers that much then take yo azz to law skool!!! 

If you are a broke fuck and chubby Diana is the only one that will fuck you then get your shit straight and stop being a loser.  If you were never a ladies man and you’re worried that it will be worse now that your older…..well read up on some game.  Not that game is the end-all be-all, but it’s a starting point if you don’t have a shit-fuck clue.  Go check out some guys like Assanova or the dozens of other blogs out there. 

If SHE is pushing you then you really need to ask why!  Is she in debt?  Is she tired of staying in shape to attract a man and she can’t wait to pork up to 563lbs, is she one of those women who claims that she’s “already had her fun” and now wants you to foot the bill?  A chick with no life plan, no retirement (except you), no career, no life savings?

If that’s the case then fuck her (don’t knock the bitch up) until she moves on to another sucker.  You just keep looking out for you because in the end that’s who has to live with your choices, YOU, numbnuts.

You’re now free smoke in the cabin and yell “BITCHES AIN’T SHIT!”

sports_beach_volleyball

 

Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

What Happens In England……..Probably Won’t Stay In England

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 26, 2010


 

This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers!

First off, many thanks to Blackchild for bringing this story to my attention.  It’s a story from the UK’s Daily Mail about a lotto winner who’s ex-wife that he divorced back in 2000 was able to get her hands on over $3 million (US dollars) of his lotto winnings.

greedy-woman

It wasn’t enough that her child support increased from just over $300 a month to over $3000 (US dollars), no that wasn’t enough for this cunt who is spending the money on her new guy.  Hey, any bets on how long new guy sticks around after she blows the money?

Keep in mind that this guy had already intended to give his ex wife a “big gift”.  If you ever needed evidence that when it comes to Western women that being a nice guy NEVER pays, there you go.

It’s bad enough that there’s this notion that when a couple is married and the man is successful that the woman had something to do with his success even though most times she’s actually a handicap.  But how in the blue hell did we get to the point where a woman is entitled to money years after the divorce? 

So since she’s entitled to increases in his wealth, what about decreases?  It’s basic finance, if you want to share in the gains you should equally share in the losses.  Maybe men who find themselves in financial turmoil should sue their ex-wives so that they can share in the liability?

That would be equal and isn’t that what you girls want?

You’re now free to pay hookers with scratch-off tickets.

Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

I’m Not That Kind of Girl

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 6, 2010


This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!

How often have you heard a woman talk about divorce, specifically about women who clean out their soon to be husbands and say “I’d never do that, I’d only want what’s mine”.

innocent look

Of course when the marriage is over women tend to think that EVERYTHING is theirs, don’t they.

The ones that amuse me are the married ones who say that they don’t want their husbands money.  These women claim that if they left, they wouldn’t go after the guy because……….wait for it…………..wait………..they’re not that kind of woman.

What I’ve noticed about 99.9% of these women is that they are married to losers who don’t have any money to take in the first place.  So these suedo-saints are trying to take credit for something that is basically impossible.  Big deal honey, you won’t go after your pot smoking boyfriend who works part time in retail.  That’s mighty nice of you, I’m sure you could really cash in there.

These women talk as if they’re married to Donald Trump and could get some huge payday.  The only reason these women are saying they don’t want their husbands money is because you can’t get something that doesn’t exist.  Classic sour grapes! 

I guaran-fucking-tee that if these women were with guys bringing down six figures that their tune would change.  Suddenly they would claim that they somehow contributed to the guy being where he is.  Funny how that retarded saying about every successful man having a woman behind them doesn’t kick in when the guy spends his day asking people “paper or plastic” or is serving a life sentence in prison.

Fellas, when a woman says that she’s not that kind of girl, that’s your signal to run like the fucking wind.  Talk about a huge fucking red flag!  The women who yell the loudest about not wanting money, are the ones who are all about the money.  Avoid these bitches like the plague they are!

You’re now free to do whatever the fuck you want.

Posted in Marriage, money | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The Next Generation of Beaten Dogs

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 16, 2010


This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers.

So I made a comment on a site about Marriage 2.0 (no not the Spearhead article).  My response was simply that there is no benefit to a man to get married, because there isn’t.  The following is a response I received to my comment.  I of course interjected my alcohol fueled commentary highlighted in red.

I’m not naming this person because this young man represents a lot of young guys that have grown up with the internet and probably have little or no interpersonal skills out in the real world.   Enjoy fuckers.

mangina

  • Marriage actually guarantees quite a bit, for those who are willing to make the sacrifice and do for more than themselves. Sounds like a recipe to get fucked!

  • Marriage guarantees that you will: have the opportunity to grow in selflessness, be able to have a more keen sense of self and others, understand the intricacies of other people centeredness, What? You have to have a mommy to help you be a better person, you can’t grow on your own?

  • have a family of your own, grow in emotional intelligence, increase your income and your wealth, Whoa!  Stop right the fuck there nitwit.  Unless you’re a loser marriage does not increase your wealth, especially when you live in a community property state as most of us do.  Talk to some guys who are paying out the ass in child support for kids she wanted and alimony to her while she’s shacked up with her next victim. Ok, let’s continue on…

  • enjoy the benefits of a consistent and fulfilling sex life, Holy diluted sense of how the real world works Batman!  What the fuck do we have here!!!  This kid needs to talk to some of the guys he works with that’s been married for a few years.  I don’t know of any married guys talking about how their sex life kicks ass or how after they signed on the dotted line how she keeps herself in tip top shape.  In fact, we hear the exact opposite.  Sure there are some guys who get it regularly but even then you’re getting the same old tired shit regularly.,

  • have companionship and loyalty, Loyalty?  Women initiate 70% of divorces.

  • build a true home, see the world, build your local community, provide assistance to kids who don’t have a home, and take out the garbage. Take out the garbage?  That’s the best you can come up with for a benefit?
    Who wouldn’t want to try that?!

  • I was once a single male. Not much out there. This where the real problem surfaces for this young man.  He was probably raised by a single mother who taught him to be a nice guy and we all know how much nice guys get laid.  So then he finally found someone with a vagina who would give him the time of day he jumped in with both feet, overlooking all her faults because he was just desperate and without options.

 

  • You take a risk either way. If you’re not dating a woman you date your job. If you’re dating someone that you like, but don’t want to get married to, you never have a fulfilling relationship outside of sex. If she wants to be with you and not get married as well, you move in together and then you have a psuedo-marriage. Never live with a bitch!!

 

  • So the benefit there, is that you don’t have to come up with lawyer fees, but you have to find a security deposit for your next apartment…lol. Which isn’t hard if you have a career, give up your dream of being a shift manager at Wendy’s and you might be able to afford the security deposit.

You are now free to send cock pics to random chicks.  You know they like it.

Posted in Marriage | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

The Great Escape

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 31, 2010


This is your Captain speaking……………….welcome aboard fuckers.

Back on May 4th 2009, I entered my first damn post where I said I would chronicle my journey out of marriage.  Since then I have been stashing away cash, $5 here, $20 there into what I call a F U Fund.  This is because my wife and I had already separated once and got back together due to finances.  Since then, we have eliminated all joint debt and even some of our individual debt.  I needed my stash of cash because although I do have friends that would put me up if I was out in the cold, I do not have any family that I could shack up with for a few months while I got my affairs in order.  So I had to plan.


I planned for the worse.  I planned that the day I told my wife I wanted a divorce that I’d have to leave that day.  That day came and went this week, prior I had been looking at apartments.  I knew exactly where I would go.

However the worse did not happen.  Although I would compare my situation to the situation in the Gulf of Mexico and the BP oil spill.  The situation may seem under control now, but it could go to fuck at any minute.

Some things did go as I planned, I was the bad guy of course and she claimed to be the perfect wife.  She claimed I was just using her and that she was the only one contributing to the marriage, blah, blah, blah.

While I play an asshole on the internet, I do have one or two good qualities even though being civil can get you screwed over.  Currently we have agreed that this will not be a hasty, unguided split.  However, please remember the BP situation.  It could blow at any moment.  Right now the time frame for my departure is Nov-Dec.  I am still preparing for the worst.

You are now free to move about the cabin.

Posted in Marriage, money | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Average American Woman, Single Mother

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 24, 2009


This is your Captain speaking……..

I wish this was a gross exaggeration, but I see this every fucking time I go to the store.  Fucking sad.

Some men are a part of the problem, videos like this one with all these damn manginas and pussy beggars falling over this out of shape, sloppy ass female.  What is worse is that these women are walking around like they are Tyra Banks or some shit.  All because of a bunch of broke thirsty ass dudes who don’t have any game or self respect.  After all, why else would you talk to a fat or unattractive woman?

It’s sad, some of these women would actually be fuckable if they lost some damn weight.  But from their perspective, why should they?  They are already getting what they want…..ATTENTION.

I say let’s cut these attention whores off from their drug.

Step up your game gentlemen, fuck the women that YOU want to fuck, you deserve it.

You’re now free to fuck about the cabin.

Posted in Marriage, pua, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Women fuck themselves up or women and Hitler part 2

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 23, 2009


This is your Captain speaking…..

Yeah, so what, I’m repeating myself.  So fucking what, bitches do it all the time.

I’m just fucking tired of so called grown adult women blaming all their bad decisions on men.  They can’t fucking decide if they are the victim or if they want to be the “strong woman”.  Of course strong woman probably gets some kind of gov’t assitance, alimony, or child support.  In essence, support from a man.  That doesn’t sound very fucking strong or independent to me ladies, you lying cunts.

What are American women smoking these days?  Ever notice how NOTHING is these bitches fault, unless it happens to turn out positive of course.  How many times have you heard some cunt say this old line..?  “I was in college then I got pregnant…..”.  A dozen forms of birth control plus abortion and the morning after pill and she magically got knocked up and that why she works at Subway……….right.  Tell me another one bitch.

fat-women-bbw-singles

Everything is always the man’s fault.  If a woman cancels a date and the man isn’t mad, upset or causes a scene (like a woman would), then it’s not that he’s actually being mature, oh no that would imply that she’s in the wrong.  No, it’s that he “doesn’t care”.  Fuck you cunt and your piss ass mind games!

Fat-Women--4944

Its fucking amazing that in one sentence these bitches are in everyone’s face talking about how damn smart they are, then in the next how some guy took advantage of them during a vulnerable time.  Make up your fucking mind.  Are you independent or a fucking sock puppet?  The typical woman can’t seem to control what comes out of her womb or how much food gets crammed into her fat mouth.  And we’re just supposed to accept it?  Hell no, let these lazy fat cunts rot away with their 9 cats.

Women are like cars, it’s always better to lease than to buy and you can count on the fact that next year there will be newer and hotter models available.

You’re now free to move about my ballsack.

Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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