Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘facebook’

Zuckerburg Should Have Avoided Marriage and Unfriended Chan

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 22, 2012


This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!

So I’m sure you’ve all heard by now that newly crowned billionaire Mark Zuckerberg married his girlfriend Priscilla Chan.  Some say it was to look more professional to Wall Street, some are talking about how it was such a smart move to wait till after the IPO (invalid argument since he married in the worse state in the country for a man to get married in, California) but since most of the people reading this already know this was a dumbfuck decision on his part, let’s go a little deeper.

suckerberg_chanI’ve seen several arguments about whether or not he had a prenup.  As I mentioned, the guy got married in Cally, I’m sure it’d be really easy for Mrs. Zuckerburg (if she does actually take his name) to simply tell a judge that she has been there from day one and that Facebook is just as much hers as it is his.  Bing bang boom, prenup thrown out.

Yes a prenup might help protect his grossly overvalued Facebook stock but just ask Warren Sapp or any other professional athlete about what really drains your fucking wallet and they’ll be happy to tell you a tale about womb turds.  It will be interesting to see how long before Mrs Chan-Zuckerballs cranks out a little 18yr annuity.  The one thing that a prenup can’t do fuck all about.

No I’m not going to rip him a new one for making the biggest mistake of his life, let’s be honest.  Just like we can’t expect ghetto thugs to understand how money works (NFL, NBA, etc) we can’t expect some socially awkward geek to realize that he doesn’t have to still play the role of tool and socially awkward geek that women don’t like.

We all know someone like him, really smart geek finally meets a below average looking chick who gives up the pussy and he falls in love with her for fear that if he doesn’t lock this one down then it will be back to the hallows of loneliness that he felt before.  Just like you can take the thug out of the ghetto but not the ghetto out of the thug, you can give the geek all the tools he needs to live the life of an alpha male, but you can’t make him realize and use those tools.

You’re now free to punch someone who was dumb enough to actually buy Facebook stock.

me so horny

Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, Marriage, marriage sucks | Tagged: , , , , | 12 Comments »

Right Here, Right Now…….

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 21, 2010

This is your Captain speaking……………..welcome aboard fuckers.

Here’s a little diddy about my latest interaction with the common American worthless fucking cunt female.  It involves a bitch I went to graduate school with who sent me an email.  Keep in mind that the email address we’re talking about is one that I use whenever I sign up for a newsletter, or when I buy something and you have to enter an email.  So its pretty much full of junk and I don’t check it often.

So this entitlement whore sends me a message the other morning………….I of course didn’t answer because I didn’t log on to that account.  So the cunt FaceBook stalks me and sends me another email that evening…………..That’s right kids, the fucking cum dumpster entitlement skank couldn’t even wait 24 motherfucking hours for a response.

Read the following in your best bitch whinny voice:

“You didn’t respond to me.  I know you were online, I saw your post on FaceBook.  I know you always check your email……….blah, blah, bitch, bitch, blah”

When I read her bipolar emails a couple days later I sent the following response.

“I didn’t realize you knew my every move.  You should use your psychic abilities to play the stock market.  However I hope you like cats because with a vile attitude like yours that is who you will be spending your golden years with.  Good day madam.”

She responded, but I deleted without even reading it.  Her actions are typical of the mental illness that plagues most American women.  Everything is about them.

Yet they love to tell you how smart they are, their problems are always someone else’s fault.  Fucking old cat hags.  I should go shit in her mailbox.

You’re now free to shit in some cunt-whore’s mailbox.

Posted in women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Don’t want to get married? Then you must be a woman-hater!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 8, 2009

Hello Fuckers, This is your Captain Speaking……..

You know, it’s amazing.  You hear a lot about how we should learn from our mistakes.  Well, marriage has been the single most costly mistake I have ever made and I fucking refuse to do it again.  You would think that people would say that’s a wise choice.  After all, why repeat the biggest blunder of your life?

Well that’s not how some women see it.  Although not all women, once again the split among the women is predictable.  My younger hotter friends agree with my outlook and say that I should enjoy my life, the old bags over 30 who are carrying around 50 extra pounds, whiny shrill voices, they all tell me how sad it is.

Sad?  Sad that I’m smart enough to not repeat a mistake, which by the way, 2nd and 3rd marriages have even HIGHER divorce rates than first marriages!!  The truth is that these older bags are way past their sell by date and I am just entering my prime.  It seems like every day I have younger and hotter girls talking to me.  The old bags probably stomped their little feet when they were younger when they didn’t get their way and men fell for it…………until the looks slipped, the pounds added up, then the guys shifted their attention to younger, hotter and less bitchy women.

These bitter old cunts tell me that just because I don’t want to sign another contract to give away half my assets, that I must “hate women”.  Well they must hate men.   After all, why else would they try so hard to sell something that many of them have already failed at.  Yeah, some of these bitches telling me not to give up on marriage are divorced themselves!  Fucking hippocrites!

Fuck those overweight cunts.  I plan to get divorced and NEVER give up my happiness again.  NEVER have to worry about which personality I’ll come home to.  NEVER feel like I am 16 and still live at home.

Fellas, I say let these fat, bitter old war pigs live at home with their fucking 7 cats.  I will have standards.  NO AVERAGE WOMEN!!!!  And damn sure never limit myself to just one or two women.  It will be time to live and enjoy life, like a man should.

Fuck marriage and fuck used up old battle cunts.

You are now free to bang porn stars about the cabin….

Posted in Marriage, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

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