Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘found dead’

GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 30, 2010


Nothing like drunk emailing some skanks you bang on the side.  Goddamn you Alcohol!!!  You win this round, but I’ll be back tomorrow!!!!!


Posted in pua, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Even Famous Pussy Has a Biological Clock That Rings Louder than Big Ben!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 12, 2010


This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers!!

Have you seen this article?  I’ll wait a minute while you read…..so Jessica Biel, who appears in the latest A Team movie is “desperate” for a baby from Justin Timberlake.  Hmmmm……I wonder why, oh wait I see why, she 28!!!! That’s like 45 in Hollywood years!  My advice to JT, GET THE FUCK OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!


She’s been banging around having a good time and now she wants that guaranteed 18 year annuity known as a baby.  I know what you’re saying, she has her own money, right?  At the moment, yes.  But haven’t you noticed how in Hollywood that the same group of leading men are getting older, but that they make sure that the female actresses that play opposite of them stay the same age.  You don’t see Brad Pitt playing opposite Sharon Stone, hell no, they get the newest, hottest piece of ass they can find.

At 28 Biel is no longer the hottest or youngest.  So she needs to lock in some mega child support that you can only get from a famous actor/musician/athlete.

But gentlemen this happens at all levels, not just Hollywood, it’s happening on your street, maybe it’s happened to you.  You’re dating some broad and things are going well until………………………….she hits you with the “I’m not getting any younger” speech.  Suddenly just having a good relationship is no longer enough for her.  Of course these are the same chicks on Match.com and Plenty of Fish who have headlines like “I’ve had my fun” or “Not into playing games”.

What this means is that she’s banged every Tom, Dick, and Harry Balls in the city and now that she has 150,000 miles on the odometer she wants to settle down and have YOU pay for her.  Sometimes one or four of the bad boys that she used to bang has left her with a little present in the form of a child.  Of course bad boy doesn’t pay any child support so she needs someone to “step up” or whatever other line of bullshit they try to pass off as honorable.  The bottom line is that as  a guy you want NO part of this mess.

As soon as a chick even hints of a baby you need to stop having sex with her immediately!!!!  Don’t make a 18yr gamble that the condom won’t slip or break.  Don’t hope that she won’t accidentally forget to take her pill or that she won’t poke a hole in your condoms.  Just like Justin Timberlake could replace Biel with an equally hot or hotter piece of ass, that’s what you need to do the moment she says she wants a child.  I don’t give a fuck if your Justin Timberlake or Joe 6 Pack, you need to run!  Run hard, run silent, run deep, just fucking run!!!

You’re now free to shove peanuts up some sky cunt’s ass.


Posted in money, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Why bother moving out of your parent’s place?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 15, 2009


This is your Captain speaking,

My question is not to suggest that people never move out. It is in reference to the fact that when a man gets married, he ends up right back in the same situation he was in when he was 16.

The place really isn’t his, he damn sure can’t set up the house like he wants, the bitch decorates. He has to ask permission for his friends to come over to watch the fight and God forbid that he wants to go over to that friend’s house that she doesn’t like. Yep, like 16 all over again, feeling trapped and looking forward to moving the fuck out.

Who do women act like a man’s mother? Who the fuck is telling them that this a good idea? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, one mother is enough!! Women, especially American women are just a bunch of mentally unbalanced, controlling bitches and men need to learn that women really are good for one thing, sex. Fuck em’ and chuck em’.

Men need to lose this scarcity mindset and realize than there’s a constant stream of new pieces of ass turning 18 every fucking day!!!

super-hot-thong

Don’t give in to these war pigs that you have to drink 4 quarts of malt liquor just to be able to look at her mismatched, discolored, sagging tits.

warpig-thumb

fat-girl-thong

Let’s step it up and let’s step out and make one final move out into our own place again! And once you have your freedom gentlemen, NEVER give it up again. If a chick wants to move in then it’s time for you to move on.   Kick her ever-expanding ass to the fucking curb!

You’re now free to grab your shit and go!

Posted in Marriage, pua, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Is She a Regular, or just in-between suckers?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 21, 2009


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers…….

As a long standing member of Gold’s gym, I have seen countless people start and eventually stop their workout habits.  I have become pretty accurate over the years of predicting how long someone will hang in there.

One interesting occurrence is how you will see certain women join the gym, you can tell that they have been neglecting trying to keep themselves up for a while.  But to their credit, they will work their fat asses off to the point where they are looking pretty bang-able.

Then they suddenly disappear.  They just stop going.  Their workout partner isn’t sure what happen, they’re just a no-show.  So one day, usually several months even a year or so later you see this overweight female who looks kinda familiar………….”but it can’t be the chick I’m thinking of” , you say to yourself.  But sure enough, it’s her.

overweight-woman-treadmill-150

She worked out long enough to reel in the next sucker, then her lazy ass quit working out.  Typical bait and switch, dog-n-pony show that American women are famous for.  You think you are getting a woman who takes pride in her appearance, then WHAM, the lazy cunt reveals her true lazy colors.

Of course, the reason is that she’s “comfortable” and you should like her for more than her body, even though it was the body that got your attention in the first place.

This is just like women who lose weight for their wedding day and then pork back up once the guy is locked into the marriage contract.  Then they wonder why the guy cheats.  Of course he’ll cheat, he feels duped and he was duped!!  He thought he was getting one thing but wound up with something completely different and fatter.

So if you see a chick in the gym or meet a women on the street or where ever, how can you tell is she really works out or is she is just between suckers and is only faking it until someone takes the bait?

One good way is to look at her shoulders and arms.  For women, these areas take a while to get nice tone, plus it requires attention to diet too.  Now I’m not saying she has to have arms like Arnold, but toned.  The fact that it takes a while to attain this toned look means that she is not one of those people who work out when things are “right”.  If she has a toned upper body then she’s been working out through thick and thin and not just when its convenient or when the planets are aligned.

woman_lifting_weights

Don’t be fooled by a nice body with no tone, unless you are in it for the short term, then it doesn’t matter, you can just tap the ass while she looks hot and kick her man-cow looking ass to the curb when she starts packing on the pounds.

You should never depend on one woman for your sexual needs, that’s one of many reasons why marriage is such a bad deal for men.

Strike while the ass is hot fellas, hump em’ and dump em’!

You’re now free to move about the gym….

Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Who lies more? Men or Women?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 19, 2009


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers……….

Ok, so some of you might recognize the title of this post as a pickup line or opener used to chat up women.  But I’m actually asking the question.  When it comes to dating and relationships it’s obvious that women are the lie.  It was Albert Einstein who said “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not…”

Women put up the classic dog and pony show when you first meet them.  Then once they have you locked down either by marriage or by squeezing out a baby, that’s when they change.  Well not change, more like go back to their real slobby selves.

How often have you heard women talk about losing weight for their wedding?  And that’s exactly what they do, they lose the weight for that ONE day, then they pork up like the pigs they really are.  Plus, why aren’t they losing weight for the so-called love of their life?  Don’t they love the guy enough to lose the fat for more than one day.  Of course most American women are just way to fucking lazy to do that, it’s much easier for the fat pig to point to her wedding picture and say “see what I USED to look like”.

hotrussianbrides

For the guy the wedding picture is a reminder of how he fell for the classic bait and switch routine.  Hopefully some of these guys will use those pictures as reminders of who really does lie more!  That poor smuck actually thought he was getting the girl in the wedding pictures!!  Instead he got a fatter and more hostile version of the woman that he first met.  That’s why guys cheat, not to get something new, but to get something like they thought they had in the first place!

fat_lady

There is no benefit for a man to get married, unless he’s a complete loser.

You’re now free to drink about the cabin…..

Posted in Marriage, pua, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Are you Married to a SNIPER???

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 15, 2009


This is your Captain speaking……..

What’s up fuckers!  How many of you guys watch fights, either boxing or mma?  Ever notice how the guys throw tons of jabs and cut kicks.  Those punches and kicks never knock anyone out, but the damage from them adds up over the course of the fight.  You can’t really say it was one particular jab or kick that really made the guy hurt.

So anyone here married to a fucking sniper?

natasha-red-alert-3

Women fight in the same manner.  Often when they say “Well what have I done…”, you can’t pinpoint one incident, but you KNOW you’ve had the hell beaten out of you.

Like today, I’m home pretty much the same time every day and I unwind a minute before I go to the gym, the same gym I’ve been going to for YEARS.  Well the gas company was going to replace our regulator outside and needed someone to be here.  Well wifey decides to play the hero (the bitch just wanted to leave work early) because she said that “I’m not reliable”.

That’s what makes marriage so fucking evil.  Little shit like that the builds up, the constant fucking slick ass remarks when you’re out in public, all that shit adds up.  You can’t remember individual stuff, but just like the fight, it takes its toll.

Let’s dump these passive agressive bitches and use women what they were put here for……SEX.  No, not fucking babies, just sex.  Let some other sucker knock the bitch up, we just want the pussy.

You are now free to move about my ballsack.

Posted in Marriage, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Don’t want to get married? Then you must be a woman-hater!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 8, 2009


Hello Fuckers, This is your Captain Speaking……..

You know, it’s amazing.  You hear a lot about how we should learn from our mistakes.  Well, marriage has been the single most costly mistake I have ever made and I fucking refuse to do it again.  You would think that people would say that’s a wise choice.  After all, why repeat the biggest blunder of your life?

Well that’s not how some women see it.  Although not all women, once again the split among the women is predictable.  My younger hotter friends agree with my outlook and say that I should enjoy my life, the old bags over 30 who are carrying around 50 extra pounds, whiny shrill voices, they all tell me how sad it is.

Sad?  Sad that I’m smart enough to not repeat a mistake, which by the way, 2nd and 3rd marriages have even HIGHER divorce rates than first marriages!!  The truth is that these older bags are way past their sell by date and I am just entering my prime.  It seems like every day I have younger and hotter girls talking to me.  The old bags probably stomped their little feet when they were younger when they didn’t get their way and men fell for it…………until the looks slipped, the pounds added up, then the guys shifted their attention to younger, hotter and less bitchy women.

These bitter old cunts tell me that just because I don’t want to sign another contract to give away half my assets, that I must “hate women”.  Well they must hate men.   After all, why else would they try so hard to sell something that many of them have already failed at.  Yeah, some of these bitches telling me not to give up on marriage are divorced themselves!  Fucking hippocrites!

Fuck those overweight cunts.  I plan to get divorced and NEVER give up my happiness again.  NEVER have to worry about which personality I’ll come home to.  NEVER feel like I am 16 and still live at home.

Fellas, I say let these fat, bitter old war pigs live at home with their fucking 7 cats.  I will have standards.  NO AVERAGE WOMEN!!!!  And damn sure never limit myself to just one or two women.  It will be time to live and enjoy life, like a man should.

Fuck marriage and fuck used up old battle cunts.

You are now free to bang porn stars about the cabin….

Posted in Marriage, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Thugtician Classic

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 5, 2009


Happy 4th Fuckers, this is your Captain speaking……

This man is right on point.  Women hate guys like this, he doesn’t yell, he speaks well, and worst of all he uses logic.

Look him up on youtube, search for “Thugt1cian”, his other account got deleted by the feminist bitches.  Damn cunts hate the truth.

Thugtician Classic: Delusional Women

One last thing, God bless our troops.

You’re now free due to the sacrifice of a veteran………..

3h4upsc6ik

Posted in Marriage, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Sexual Myths and other feminist crap

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 2, 2009


This is your Captain Speaking……..

Ever been around some women and heard the old bullshit line about how women are at their “sexual peak” in their mid to late thirties?  That they are in the “prime” of their worthless lives.  What a crock of shit.  Of course its usually below average, overweight women who are making this comment.

Let’s talk about who peaks when.  Men and women peak opposite of each other.  Women peak around 18-20 and quickly go downhill after that.  The 19yr old guy is pretty much worthless in the dating world, but fast-forward 20 years and the tables turn.  Now the 39 yr old guy has his career going and is getting approached by that 18-22 age group that didn’t even know he was alive when he was that age.

Of course the woman, even if she works out, which is rare, is barely a shell of what she used to look like.  The only guys her age who want her are guys with very few if any options as far as dating women.  I don’t care how hot a chick is at 22, she won’t be near as hot at 32 and especially after they squeeze out a few rugrats.

So to make up for the fact that the only thing most women ever had going for them (youth) is now long gone, they make up this sexual prime myth.  Nice try cunts, that’s like trying to call a Ford Pinto a Jaguar.

average american woman

So guys, don’t fall for these overweight, overbearing, loudmouthed bitches, just skip these warpigs and fuck their 19yr old daughters.  But you better hurry, women these days aren’t wasting any time when it comes to packing on the fucking pounds.

You are now free to gangbang the sky cunts.

Posted in sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

No evidence of recent success, fuck Obama, single mothers are worthless.

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 27, 2009


This is your Captain speaking

I was just talking to a buddy of mine about the bullshit known as marriage.  He told me about his older uncle who was married for decades, much like my grandparents and probably much like your grandparents.  I commented that you don’t see that in recent generations.  All of my friends are divorced at least once.  No one even remembers their high school sweetheart, let alone is still with the bitch.

The explanation is simple though, American women stood for something back then where now all they stand for is the all mighty dollar.  And on top of that they usually can be found pigging out on the nearest dollar menu at the local fast food joint.  Talk about fucking swine flu!!!

American women now are not even worth the effort it takes to even speak too.  They have no sense of dignity, they let themselves go to the point where they look like fat hairy men.  No wonder guys have a “mid-life crisis”, if your wife was fat and sporting a mustache, you’d have a fucking crisis too.

But I digress, back in the day women were treated like ladies because they deserved to be treated as such, but now fellas, treat them like the backstabbing overweight overbearing bitches that they are.

Let’s go fuck some Brazilian chicks!

You are now free to move about the cabin.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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