Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘fuck’

A Loser’s Favorite Time of Year

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 1, 2014

money grubbing bitch

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Well fuck, it’s that time of year again isn’t it?  It’s that magical time when our wonderful government hands out millions of dollars in free money to those who neither earned it or deserve it.  Yep, it’s tax time bitches!!!

The single mothers sure love this time of year don’t they?  Then to top it off, I was listening to Tom Leykis the other day and he was talking about how the Terminator’s ex-wife did some piece about poor women.  After a brief Google search I found several “news” sites that were pimping this shit and passing it off as journalism.  One piece even had a picture of some 23yr old broad who was a single mother of two and worked as a waitress.  Poor Ms Waitress was struggling to pay her bills, isn’t that sad?  Of course the article said that the government (us) should bail bitches like this out.  Because it was clearly fate that made her poor and not her shitty decisions.

Well what the fuck, we do bail their dumbasses out, every fucking year!!!  You’ve overheard these bitches brag about the thousands of dollars they get back, far more than most of them paid in if they paid any in at all.  You’ll see these bitches living it up at, shopping at Target instead of Walmart, eating at fine dining establishments such as Red Lobster and Golden Corral.  If you work with any of these slackers you’ll notice absences sharply increase this time of year.

Then by May you’ll hear these same women talking about how broke they are or their piece of shit car broke down and they can’t afford to get it fixed.  We need to stop throwing money at stupid people.  They are poor because they want to be, they are poor because they never planned or worked to be anything else! These are the same fucks who will go to that tax service whose name rhymes with……cock…….and pay extra money to get a refund anticipation loan.  I mean what the hell, it’s not their money, they don’t give a shit if they have to pay out the ass interest charges, these bitches don’t even know what interest is!!!

We need to end this bullshit about kids being expensive, so are yachts but you don’t see the government helping me buy one of them!  I have to actually budget and work for shit I want, people who just want to shit out kids should have to do the same thing.

And don’t give me this kids are our future shit or that it’s the kids of today that will be my nurse or doctor when I’m old.  First off, the kids of today can’t even move out of the fucking house and live on their own.  You think these lazy fucks are going to stay in college long enough to become a fucking doctor?jail

A kid has better odds of wearing an orange jumpsuit at the local jail than he or she does of being president of a major company, a congressman or any of that other happy horseshit people like to spout off about when they’re talking about kids being our fucking future.  These future saviors can’t even carry on a conversation with another human face to face because they’ve spent their lives in their rooms jacking off to Justin Boober and One Erection.  So don’t tell me how your stupid fucking kids are the future of this country, at best your kids will have the same shitty as you do that is of course if you can ever get them out of the fucking house! 

You’re now free to spit on a poor person.

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Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Why I Support Gay Marriage and Adoption

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 8, 2013


This is your Captain speaking, sorry about that landing in San Fran, but……….Welcome aboard fuckers!!!!!!!

Ok, you probably never expected me to support any kind of marriage but hear me out fuckers.  Some of you probably already know my angle on this so here we go!!!!!!!

Listen, our family court system is FUCKED!!!  We all know that, if you’re a man you might as well lube up your ass and grab your ankles because you will get royally screwed in court by your ex, the lawyers, the whole fucking system!!!

As we’ve talked about here and other people have brought up in other venues, the only time they change a law that’s unfair to men is when it affects the little women too.  Just look at the case in Florida where the governor vetoed a bill that would have eliminated lifetime alimony.  I mean we can’t have that now can we?  What would the poor little gold-digging whores do?rm

So what we need guys is more bitches thrown on our side of the fence.  What we need is a nice pretty young thing to get with some manly looking broad and the two divorce.  It would be even better if they adopted a kid too, that way the manly bitch could get ass raped just like any man.

Things aren’t going to change until women start to feel the pain too, then it will suddenly become a national priority, there will be pages of editorials of how the system is broken and unfair.

I personally don’t give two shits who you’re fucking, this isn’t about gay, straight or sheep lovers.  The marriage failure rate for gay people will be just as shitty as it is for the rest of us.  So hang on to your butt plugs and rubber fists gay people because this is one ride that won’t make you explode with pleasure.  You have just boarded the Shit Town Express!!!!

I’ve tried to warn the LGBT community that marriage was a shitty deal, but you fucks refuse to listen, so now I want you to get exactly what you’re asking for, because that’s the only way men will get what I’m asking for. The system is broken people, take off your Elton John rose colored glasses and try to see what the fuck I’m saying.  Read the comments on this blog and others like it.  You don’t want this.

However, since the gay community seems to think they know more than the rest of us, fuck em.  I look forward to the day when some crying cunt in on the Today show talking about how her ex-wife took her for everything she owned.  Welcome to our world cunt.

You’re now free to do whatever the fuck you want.

Brasil ass rocks

Posted in marriage sucks, Politics, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Enter the Inferno

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 10, 2011

What’s up fuckers.  I was on YouTube checking out thong videos and I took some time to check in on Chapin’s Inferno and found this gem.  He does some great work and this just one of millions of fine examples.  Enjoy fuckers.

Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

I Want More Out of Life

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 27, 2010

This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!

I want a good life, that’s what I hear a lot from women who have spent their youth banging losers.  Funny how they weren’t looking for anything while some dope smoking idiot was dumping load after load into her as she kept shitting out kids.  Now that reality is beginning to set in and kick these bitches asses………now they want Poindexter from the IT department to step in and fill the financial void.

single mother 5

Single mothers wanting to start a “new” life, of course it’s only new if you don’t count all the fucking baggage they’re carrying around with them.  They want the new guy to pick up the tab for the loser who banged her back when she was at her hottest.  Now that she’s giving you the left overs, you also have to pay.  Awesome deal huh!

What’s crazy is these women who have spend most of their lives fucking losers suddenly have this incredible sense of entitlement!  They demand shit out of Poindexter that their old loser of a sperm donor wouldn’t even consider doing.  Now that they’re all worn the fuck out, now they want to have something meaningful.

I know it’s tempting sometimes guys.  Sometimes these women actually look good!  Just don’t forget it’s the ole bait n switch tactic.  Once she gets you locked in, here comes the pounds and there goes the long hair.  You can forget about good sex!  Blowjobs?  Not on your life!

Of course these are some of the same women who lament about not being able to find a good guy.  Bitch maybe the fact you have 3 or 4 kids is a fucking factor!!!  Do you really think another guy wants to jump in and start paying?  Yes everyone can make one mistake but when you let yourself get knocked up by a loser repeatedly, FUCK YOU!

You’re now free to blow a load in some cunt’s hair.


Posted in relationship, women | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »


Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 30, 2010

Nothing like drunk emailing some skanks you bang on the side.  Goddamn you Alcohol!!!  You win this round, but I’ll be back tomorrow!!!!!

Posted in pua, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Old Friends

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 11, 2010

This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!!

Old friends………..ever have that chick that you knew way back before all the bs set in between the sexes.  Back when you were just kids.  You kinda keep that fond memory alive over the years, even chat with her every once in a while.

Gentlemen it’s a fucking trap.   Hard to admit, but true.  A very good old friend of mine fits the bill.  She, at one time, was a great girl.  The hardest thing for me to do is to step back and take a honest look, not at the girl I used to know, but at the woman that is now there.

She was a petite, very cute blond, still is in fact.  But tell me is this story sounds familiar…..she got knocked up by a few bad boys and now she suddenly wants a real relationship.  Now she wants a “good guy”.  Now she wants someone to come in and be Captain Save-A-Hoe.

Fellas, the image of this former friend is one that has been made up over the years, please do not fall for this illusion.  The girl you knew is long gone, dead.  What you see now is just a shell, I know the memories are powerful, but trust me.  Your friend is dead, what is left is your typical American cunt.

I know it’s hard, but you have to take a step back and look at how she acts.  Granted there may even be flashes of what used to be when you were kids, but that’s all it is, just a flash in the pan.  What was once there has long since evaporated!  Don’t try to capture the past, just let it be and move on, in the end you will be happy that you did instead of settling like most people.

You’re now free to bang about the country.

Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

It’s Not My Fault, God Wants Me to Keep Shitting out Kids!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 28, 2010

This is your Captain speaking…………………welcome aboard fuckers.

We shall start with a fucking joke……………………

There once was a prediction of an imminent flood in Ohio. A warning was announced on the local radio and TV. The sheriff drove around to make sure everyone had evacuated the area. He came to one man’s house, found the owner still there, and told him to get into his jeep to avoid the coming flood. The man replied, “Don’t worry, the Lord will save me!”

Well, the floods came and the man had to go up to the second floor of his house. A rescue boat went by. “Get onboard, the flood is going to get even worse!” the rescue worker cried out.
But the man said, “Don’t worry, the Lord will save me!”

The flood did get worse! The man had to go up on his roof to avoid the rising water! A helicopter flew over his house. “Grab the rescue line,” they hollered to the man. “Don’t worry,” the man hollered back, “the Lord will save me!” The waters rose further, the man was washed away … and he drowned!
Thankfully, the man wound up in heaven. But, when the man saw God, he strutted right up to God and said, “Why didn’t you save me? I waited for you!”

God replied, “I sent you a jeep, a boat, and a helicopter! What more did you want me to do?! All you had to do was get onboard!!”

Now on more than one occasion I have heard women say that if they get pregnant that it’s because its God’s will.  If you ask these women what kind of birth control they are using they will say “a condom”, as in the guy is wearing the condom and they are using NOTHING.  That’s convenient, that way you can blame fate for your shitty life you stupid horse cunt.  Not to mention bringing another person into the world that you can’t fucking afford…………and the rest of us have to support little fathead because you can’t.  Nice, really fucking fuck nice.  By the way, is this the same God that promises 70 virgins to suicide bombers?  Just wondering.

Hold up bitch, 11 types of birth control and you use nothing?  Maybe the fact that your God has given you 11 types of birth control is a fucking hint you stupid meth-head.  And why is it the fat chicks who bitch about the pill making them fat?  First off, the pill is only 1 out of a dozen fucking types of BC available and second, your ass is already ten feet wide.

Of course to compound things, it’s usually the poor barely making it by types that have this type of attitude.  It’s easier to blame old guy sitting in the fucking clouds than to take responsibility for their own stupid decisions. “I was in college until I “got” pregnant.” It’s like Tom Leykis says, if a woman is not on some type of birth control, she wants a baby.  I agree, isn’t amazing how some chicks can bang away all through college and never get knocked up?  Yet somehow the waitress with the 10yr pin on her shirt gets morning sickness when she looks at a cock sideways.

It’s as if some people say “I’m a loser, now what can I do to compound the fucking situation?  I know…..I’ll bring another person into this world and teach them how to be a loser too!!  Besides, there’s lots of government programs out there to help me, I won’t even have to pay for it all!!  I’m a fucking genius!”

If you want to see the birth rate drop, give men the same number of options for BC that a woman has.  Give men the option to opt out just like a woman does after conception.  After all ladies, isn’t it equality you want?  Take some goddamn responsibility, your life is a direct result of the decisions you make girls.

You’re now free to tell the bitch you want paper instead of fucking plastic.

Posted in money, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Why So Pissed at Tiger?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 25, 2010

This is your Captain Speaking……………..welcome aboard fuckers.

Yes, I know.  Tiger Woods is the story that never dies, but why has it stirred so much emotion?  It’s pretty simple, it shows what men and women really want.

Tiger just wants to fuck and if most guys had his means that’s what they would do.  His actions reminds women what their men would do if they got that promotion, finished graduate school, or got a better job.  It reminds them that their guy would dump their worthless nagging asses in a heartbeat!

The actions of Tiger’s wife show guys what women are really after…………money.  Plain and simple, when the initial lust of the relationship wears off, its all about money.  All the talk about independent women is just a bunch of bullshit.  They’re only independent if they’re getting money from a man.

Tiger’s real mistake was getting married and having kids.  All that did was secure the transfer of assets from him to his aging trophy wife.

There is absolutely no benefit to a man to get married.

You are now free to bang the sky cunts about the cabin.

Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Right Here, Right Now…….

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 21, 2010

This is your Captain speaking……………..welcome aboard fuckers.

Here’s a little diddy about my latest interaction with the common American worthless fucking cunt female.  It involves a bitch I went to graduate school with who sent me an email.  Keep in mind that the email address we’re talking about is one that I use whenever I sign up for a newsletter, or when I buy something and you have to enter an email.  So its pretty much full of junk and I don’t check it often.

So this entitlement whore sends me a message the other morning………….I of course didn’t answer because I didn’t log on to that account.  So the cunt FaceBook stalks me and sends me another email that evening…………..That’s right kids, the fucking cum dumpster entitlement skank couldn’t even wait 24 motherfucking hours for a response.

Read the following in your best bitch whinny voice:

“You didn’t respond to me.  I know you were online, I saw your post on FaceBook.  I know you always check your email……….blah, blah, bitch, bitch, blah”

When I read her bipolar emails a couple days later I sent the following response.

“I didn’t realize you knew my every move.  You should use your psychic abilities to play the stock market.  However I hope you like cats because with a vile attitude like yours that is who you will be spending your golden years with.  Good day madam.”

She responded, but I deleted without even reading it.  Her actions are typical of the mental illness that plagues most American women.  Everything is about them.

Yet they love to tell you how smart they are, their problems are always someone else’s fault.  Fucking old cat hags.  I should go shit in her mailbox.

You’re now free to shit in some cunt-whore’s mailbox.

Posted in women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Hey Old Fucker!!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 14, 2010

This is your Captain speaking……………welcome aboard fuckers!!

Does any of this female psycho-babble sound familiar?

You’re just bitter!

Someone must have really hurt you.

You just hate women!

Not all women are like that……I’m not.

You just haven’t met the right woman yet.

Of course when that doesn’t work then they try this…………..

Don’t you want to grow old with someone?  (what they forget is to add is that someone will be bugging and nagging the living hell out of you until one of you dies!!!!)

I feel sad for you.

You’ll never know true love with that attitude.

Older guys didn’t just pull their attitudes out of a fucking straw hat.  They came from years of life experiences.  We need to listen to our elders, I know that’s crazy-talk nowadays, but trust me.  These guys aren’t saying to stay away from marriage because “they can’t get laid”.  They’re saying it because its true.

The “See the matrix” analogy is probably grossly overused, but in this case it fits perfectly.  As we mature we start noticing patterns of behavior.  We notice that these patterns seem to match what some of these “old farts” have been trying to warn us about for years.  Pretty much every guy knows of another guy who has been raked over the coals by the court system.

Then through the power of hindsight, you start looking back at all your relationships and you can usually pinpoint the moment the first red flag went up.  But you stayed.

You’re now free to walk 10 miles uphill in the snow.

Posted in sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

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