Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘girls’

And They Wonder Why……

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 27, 2014


 

bullshit-glass-ceiling

 

This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!!!

It’s back to school time again folks, or as welfare moms call it…..Vacation.

It’s also back to all the little ladies at the office wanting the company they work for to bend and twist around so that their job doesn’t interfere with them having it all and being a mother to their womb turds and future government dependents.

I mean what bullshit it would be if the poor fragile women had to work a regular schedule like men do!!!  That would be awful if women were expected to actually contribute to the bottom line! How sexist!!!

So the little misses come in late and leave early and then come appraisal time they expect the same raise or even more as everyone else who actually fucking showed up for work.

Newsflash girls, you can’t have it all.  Just like men you have to decide if you want to play house or have a career, you can’t do both.   If you choose to shit out kids then don’t bitch when you are passed up at work by people who are better at their job in part because they have actually put some time in on the damn fuck job.

The glass ceiling is a goddamn lie, it’s not some fabled ceiling that holds women back, it’s the fucking holes they dig themselves into.  Getting worthless degrees in college and running up a shitfuckton of debt.  Having kids with convicts and other losers who can’t even support themselves.  Having kids with guys who just want to fuck and have zero interest in parenting.  Trying to trap a guy by “forgetting” your birth control.  All this is shit you guys control.  There isn’t some group of guys wringing their hands worrying about some broad wanting to get into the boardroom. 

Do you wage gap morons even have a fucking clue how hard it is to find people qualified to sit in the boardroom!!!  Of course you don’t, it’s much easier to sit and bitch about other’s success than it is to roll up your sleeves and make your own success happen.  Show me a person who hates rich business people and I’ll show you a lazy fuck.

You think it’s luck that makes you wealthy? No dumbtits, it’s work, it’s doing shit 99% of people won’t fucking damn do.  You bitch about a glass ceiling yet you don’t even work hard enough to merit getting out of the fucking basement!

Women are the reason there aren’t more women at the top.  Women are their own worst enemies.

You’re now free to piss on the ceiling.

 

Technorati Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

Posted in marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

You Can’t Spice Up A Turd

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 14, 2014


real woman's ass

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Last time I got hammered I wrote down some advice for my three female readers.  Well here I am again with one more golden nugget for the girls.  I’m filling in the blanks for the broads out there, so listen up!

If you live long enough you’re bound to hear broad talking about her failing relationship and how she “worked” to make things better.  One often touted method of “working” on things doesn’t actually involve any work at all.  I’m talking about lingerie.  Women talk about how they dress sexy for their husband without any regard how they’ve let themselves go.

What you ladies need to understand is while men like a woman in lingerie, it needs to be said….since most of you are obviously slow…..we like HOT women in lingerie.  Check out the picture above, most me have some version of what we consider hot and that’s what we picture. 

So what happens when you squeeze your ass into something you just picked up off the clearance rack at Adam and Eve???  Well a couple things, first off it’s a stark reminder of how far you’ve let yourself go from the time we first met you.  So if you’re confused as to why your husband used to love you in something skimpy and now he vomits at the mere site of you, that’s why.  You just reminded him of how you ran the old bait-n-switch on him.  average woman

Here’s the other scenario that happens, you were never hot to begin with yet you are under some notion that your guy thinks you’re beautiful when the truth is your guy dropped out of high school and is a loser with few choices.  So you wear you’re little lace outfit but instead of looking like one of the hot chicks on Instagram you look like someone tried to strangle a giant squid with a garden hose.  Good job there Sally, you just basically rubbed your man’s nose in shit, as if he didn’t already know you’re ugly (hence the fact he has to be either high or drunk or both to fuck ya) now you just reminded him of that fact in bold, loud, living color.

So for those of you who want to actually work on your relationship, why not try doing the shit you did to trick him in to marrying you in the first place, like looking hot and blow jobs.

You’re now free to piss on a giant squid.

Posted in Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, relationship, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

A day to honor our fallen, yet American women still think its all about them.

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 25, 2009


This is your Captain speaking………………..

Don’t you guys just love how women like to “plan” YOUR time off. Even if they don’t have any real plans, they still don’t want you doing what you want. I mean, God forbid that you actually want to sleep in one fucking day. Memorial day is yet another day that our little American princesses want to stomp their little feet and get their way. They want you to do some bullshit project that benefits them and costs you money.

But fuck that! That is not what this day is about, this day is about the fallen soldiers who have paid the ultimate price for their country. This the day where we stop to recognize them and enjoy the freedom that they have paid for with their lives. It is not a day we should have to listen to some loud, overweight, overbearing bitch talk about what she wants to do.

Shit, don’t get me started on all the passive aggressive bullshit that women do, that will be covered in an upcoming post. So for now, I am asking you to join me as I lift up my beer in honor of our fallen heroes and the ones who are still out there fighting as you are reading this.

You are now free to move about my ballsack.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Behind every good man………………..

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 15, 2009


is a toilet.

Ok, ok, is a woman. Let’s run with that for a minute since women love to take credit for everything. Even when a guy is single, they say “he had his mother”. Ok, I’ll say that every Fortune 500 ceo has a woman behind him………..so does every one of the over 2,000,000 prison inmates. Good job ladies.

Two million inmates, all with a woman behind them. That tells me that the 500 ceo’s were lucky. Obviously having a woman in your corner is not a lucky rabbits foot. Chances are you’ll become an inmate before you nail down a CEO position.

Of course, women’s groups leave that statistic out, how convenient. Being a mother is a biological function that requires no intelligence what so ever. In fact the woman does not even have to be awake to conceive a child. All the bitch has to do is lay there, which is what most married women do….just lay there until the guy gets tired of it, then she takes half his assets.

So much for being equal.

Fucking worthless cunts.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
%d bloggers like this: