Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘guitar’

10 Reasons a Guitar is BETTER than a Woman

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 26, 2009


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard Fuckers!

I’ve decided to do a list of reasons why a man is better off buying a guitar than a woman, especially a wife.

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This list is in no particular fucking order and it may end up being less or more than 10, fucking sue me.  This list is sponsored tonight by Steel Reserve, 8.1% alcohol by fucking volume!

fender girl

  1. I still get aroused when I hold one of my guitars.
  2. My guitars don’t get all pissed off if I come home with another guitar.
  3. A guitar will still look just as good 2,4,5 or 10 years later.
  4. A guitar actually sounds good when it screams or cries.
  5. A guitar has a volume knob.
  6. All my guitars still weigh the same as when I first saw them.
  7. I was able to finger all my guitars BEFORE I took my wallet out.
  8. I still look forward to seeing my guitars.
  9. The pleasure you get from a guitar actually increases if you spend more time with it.
  10. A guitar doesn’t bitch or nit-pick you to fucking death.
  11. Your guitar doesn’t give a fuck how many beers you drink.
  12. A guitar understands that a 20yr old step-daughter is really not considered “family” and therefore ok to shag.
  13. A guitar is worth MORE the older it gets.
  14. I just wanted to repeat the last one, the value of a guitar actually goes UP as it ages, much like a man, but completely opposite of a woman.

You are now free to jam about the cabin…

tiger


Posted in Marriage, money, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

 
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