Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘kids’

Trends

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 10, 2011


This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Lots of divorce stories in the news this week.  I can’t help to notice a trend in some of the celebrity divorces coming about. 

Take Charlie Sheen for example, married in 2008, now has to pay $55hospital nursery,000 a month, yes a fucking MONTH!!!….for child support.  Ashlee Simpson also filed for divorce after her 3 year marriage but not before she found time to shit out a kid also.  

Now this not just a celebrity deal, I see it all the time.  Woman goes from being perfect girlfriend to never happy bitch wife and is knocked up, by accident of course within the first year of the marriage.  Then before the kid even is barely out of diapers the couple some how “grows apart”. 

A lot of times if the guy is well off, she’ll crank out two or three kids in rapid succession, be a stay at home mom and secure both a healthy alimony and child support payment from the poor sucker who married her ever expanding ass.

don't want kidsTom Leykis used to tell his listeners to wait until you’ve been married 5 years before you have kids.  That is of course if you were just determined to be married and to raise a family, children were the only reason he’d ever be ok with marriage however he would still point out that while it was good for the child it was still not good for the man.  I completely agree.

I also agree with waiting 5 years.  Just think of all the relationships that were in the shitter by year 3 or 4!!  I know lots of guys whose wives conveniently got knocked up right before they decided they wanted a divorce.  Leaving the guy stuck paying an 18 year annuity, tax free for her!!

Gentlemen, your sperm are like blank checks or a debit card with the pin written on the back.  Actually worse because if a thief steals your debit card he can only get what’s in there today.  If a woman gets a hold of your sperm she gets her claws into what you have for the next two decades!!!!

You’re now free to blow a load in her eye.

 

nice beach ass

 

Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Never say never? Well fuck you Cunt!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 25, 2009


This is your Captain speaking…..

“Never say never”, a phrase I hear often in connection with the prospect of remarrying. I wonder…..exactly how many times do you have get screwed by something to realize that it’s not working. Although I can see why women have this attitude, they have nothing to lose from marriage, they get to leave at the very worst, the same they came into the marriage. Now how many guys can say that?

But to be fair, not everyone was telling me to “never say never”. Of course the men understand, or at least the ones who are good with women understand, the manginas and pussy-beggars (to borrow a phrase from Thugtician), those guys view marriage as their only chance to get laid, as if marriage was ever good for that.

However my female friends and coworkers are actually split on this often touted advice on remarriage. When I looked at who said what, it broke down nicely into two distinct groups. The hotter and younger women agreed, which makes sense because they are in their prime also and for now, have no shortage of men at their disposal, so no surprise that they are not worried about things. The other group, the group that clings to marriage even though several of them are failures in marriage (divorced), they have at least one or more of the following attributes. Over 30, overweight, average or below average looks, uneducated, and/or no career (needs a provider).

So basically the only ones who believe in marriage are the men and women who have no other options. Some things you can say “never” to. Show me a person who doesn’t ever say “never” and I will show you a person who is not a leader. I’ll show you someone who cannot make their own decisions. I’ll show you a loser.

You are now free to move about the fucking cabin.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Porn, hair, ass, blow jobs, kittens, kids, parents, and flowers

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 16, 2009


This is your Captain speaking…..

Why do women like to chop off their hair then complain about their guy’s lack of interest?

I saw where porn star Stormy Daniels might run for political office and it occurred to me that you rarely see a porn star with short hair. I’m talking real porn stars, not the bitches that Bang Bros pay $200 to fuck in front of a camcorder.

But its just like weight. Everyone knows that fat chicks are unattractive but yet most American women just pack on the pounds year after year and then they just cant seem to figure out why their man if fucking the neighbor chick who actually works out.

Once a woman locks the guy in with marriage or a kid, she porks up, chops off the hair and becomes a nun in the bedroom. Yet another reason to NEVER get married.

You are now free to move about the cabin.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

 
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