Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘love’

Just Say NO To Ultimatums

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 27, 2010


This is your Captain speaking……………..welcome aboard fuckers!!

So I found a great Q&A section over at the Midlife Bachelor’s site, this particular question is from a 42 yr old guy who’s dating a 29 yr old woman.  And guess what, she wants to get married!!!

screaming bitch

Isn’t that awesome, she’s been banging around for a good decade or so and now she wants to get serious and have this guy foot the bill.  She knew her sell-by date was less than a year away and at this point she’s just casting a play, looking for someone to play the part of sperm donor and checkbook.  I loved this letter because it’s FULL of red flags. 

Tell me is this is typical Ameriskank behavior……

“If something is really important to her, I can tell because she will get really emotional quickly if I don’t react the way she thinks I should.”

Or how about this……

‘she got really upset and started crying uncontrollably. Then she got mad at me and said I had better not be wasting her time.’

To all you young guys out there who’ve been dating a nice hot piece of ass, if ANYTHING in that article reminds you of your little princess, then it’s time to get the fuck out!! 

I mean, have you ever talked to a guy who got an ultimatum and was happy about it later?  Hell the fuck no! 

And now a message for the ladies.  Girls if you were truly as awesome as you think you are, then you wouldn’t need to give a guy an ultimatum.  Ultimatums are just more proof that marriage has nothing to do with love and everything to do with getting the guy to sign on the dotted line.

You are now free to do coke off a call girl.

Posted in Marriage, money, relationship, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Too Good to be True???

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 2, 2010


This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Sometimes you have to take these bitches with a grain of salt.  Yes even my sarcastic ass knows that not ALL American women are fucked up, just 99.99999% of them are.  So there is a chance that I might meet one that is cool, just like there’s a chance I might win Power Ball, catch a unicorn or shit a golden turd.

So what happens when you meet that one that’s fan-fucking-tastic!!!  I mean she’s great, cool to hang with, likes your friends, and of course sucks the fucking color off your dick!  To quote the great philosopher Kenny Loggins, this is when you are in “The Danger Zone”.  This is when you can get easily distracted by her firm ass and excellent oral communication skills.

Don’t let your guard down gentlemen!  Take a step back and evaluate the situation as if you were giving advice to one of your drinking buds.   It will give you a much better picture of what you really have on your hands.  Recently, I’ve found myself in this same exact situation and when I did step back and mulled things over with my good friend Johnnie Walker here are some of the red flags that I found whipping in the wind.

Multiple kids, multiple fathers. (who don’t pay child support)
Previous “serious” relationship was abusive.
Complains about not finding any “good” men.
Radical spike in interest after learning of career path
Lots of male friends, very few female friends.
No goals, career or otherwise.  (waiting on Prince Charming)

    The list goes on, but you get the picture.  It’s easy to ignore the warning signs when someone is swallowing your load; especially when they do their best to hide them. Until next time fuckers.

    You’re now free to drink scotch on the rocks.

    Posted in sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

    Listen to Your Elders

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 16, 2010


    What’s up fuckers!

    Here’s a quick hit for ya.  It’s a bit of an older clip from YouTube, but one worth repeating.  Now before you view the clip, let me quote Tom Leykis by saying that “not all women are like this.  There are exceptions to the rule, but the exceptions prove the rule.”

    So without further fucking delay, here’s The Kid from Brooklyn on staying single.

    Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

    Old Friends

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 11, 2010


    This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!!

    Old friends………..ever have that chick that you knew way back before all the bs set in between the sexes.  Back when you were just kids.  You kinda keep that fond memory alive over the years, even chat with her every once in a while.

    Gentlemen it’s a fucking trap.   Hard to admit, but true.  A very good old friend of mine fits the bill.  She, at one time, was a great girl.  The hardest thing for me to do is to step back and take a honest look, not at the girl I used to know, but at the woman that is now there.

    She was a petite, very cute blond, still is in fact.  But tell me is this story sounds familiar…..she got knocked up by a few bad boys and now she suddenly wants a real relationship.  Now she wants a “good guy”.  Now she wants someone to come in and be Captain Save-A-Hoe.

    Fellas, the image of this former friend is one that has been made up over the years, please do not fall for this illusion.  The girl you knew is long gone, dead.  What you see now is just a shell, I know the memories are powerful, but trust me.  Your friend is dead, what is left is your typical American cunt.

    I know it’s hard, but you have to take a step back and look at how she acts.  Granted there may even be flashes of what used to be when you were kids, but that’s all it is, just a flash in the pan.  What was once there has long since evaporated!  Don’t try to capture the past, just let it be and move on, in the end you will be happy that you did instead of settling like most people.

    You’re now free to bang about the country.

    Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

    Two Fucking People!!!

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 20, 2010


    This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!

    TWO!  That’s it, as I think about all the married guys that I know, I only know two fucking people who are happy and one of them is married to a non-American woman…..go figure.  Enough said there.

    The other one had to go through hell to get to where he’s at now.  His first wife was well………your typical AW.  She ran him through the fucking ringer.  Got pregnant to try to keep him, mood swings, violent, paranoid, you name it.  She put this guy through hell.  But eventually he found the one hand grenade in the box that didn’t blow up when you pulled the pin.  His second wife must not know what year it is because she treats him like its 19 Fucking 50!!!!  Cooks, cleans, takes care of the house, the whole nine yards.  She even likes his crazy ass friends…….even me!!!


    Unfortunately the odds of ending up like these two friends of mine are VERY fucking slim.  You are most likely to get the crazy bitch like my one friend got for his first wife.  I’m just glad he got the hell out of there.  I’ve never seen him more miserable when he was with her and more happy than he is now.  He won the fucking lotto.

    But just because two guys won the lotto does NOT mean the rest of us should play.  Because like any casino, the odds are stacked in favor of the house.  And in America it’s a house of man-hating mentally ill bitches.   I congratulate my buddies on their winnings, but this game is too rich for my blood.  I fucking fold!!!

    You are now free to drink about the casino.


    Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments »

    Accustomed to a Certain Lifestyle

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 16, 2010


    This is your Captain speaking……………….welcome aboard fuckers.

    First off, yes I know some men get alimony.  It happens.  In Chile a girl survived a 13-story fall, it happens.  Mostly alimony is the man paying for past use of a vagina.  But why?  Because she “grew accustomed to a certain lifestyle”.


    WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING FUCK ASS FUCKING COCKSUCKING FUCK!!!!!!

    So if I switch jobs, can I tell my employer that he has to give me a month of vacation every year simply because my old employer did?  What if I was accustomed to it?  Sounds fucking retarded, right?  Because it is, but somehow our legal system has it ass-backwards once again.

    So what about what the guy was accustomed to?  What if he was accustomed to the attractive woman that he dated and she chops off her hair and porks up the minute her lips touch the wedding cake?  What if he was accustomed to getting his dick sucked on a regular basis………..never mind……that’s over once her lips touch the wedding cake too!!!

    Bottom line is that neither person is entitled to JACK FUCKING SHIT.  If a relationship goes south, you move on.  There shouldn’t be financial penalties.  If a woman is in a marriage and she chooses to crap out kids instead of a career that could support her, that was HER decision.  If she got a degree in women’s studies instead of going to medical school, then that was HER decision.   So when the relationship is over, it should be fucking over!!

    Just another reason why there is no benefit to a man to get married.

    You are now free to kick the bitch down the stairs.


    Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

    Why the Mistress Never Wins.

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 11, 2010


    This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!

    Ahhh yes, the mistress.  What is a mistress?  A chick that puts out and hopefully keeps her fucking trap shut.  That’s it.  Nothing more.

    So what happens when the guy finally breaks the bonds of marriage?  Well first let’s look at who the mistress competes with while the guy is married.  The bitchy, nagging, bloated wife.  Not much competition!!  Anything looks good next to that!  It’s not like the guy can freely go out and look for other prospects, guys are often lazy when it comes to this.  If they have a chick that puts out and shuts up, that’s enough.

    However once the guy is single, now the mistress is competing against every young hot piece of ass on the market.  At this point she has developed a sense of entitlement with the guy, but what she doesn’t realize is that now she has taken the role of the nagging bitch wife.  So the guy dumps her too.

    Nothing wrong with a mistress, but ladies you need to know your fucking role.  A mistress is nothing but a handicapped booty call.  Once the bonds of marriage have been lifted, he’s going after the women he really wants to bone, and guess what…………it’s not YOU!

    You’re now free to bang young hot chicks.



    Posted in Marriage, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

    Why So Pissed at Tiger?

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 25, 2010


    This is your Captain Speaking……………..welcome aboard fuckers.

    Yes, I know.  Tiger Woods is the story that never dies, but why has it stirred so much emotion?  It’s pretty simple, it shows what men and women really want.


    Tiger just wants to fuck and if most guys had his means that’s what they would do.  His actions reminds women what their men would do if they got that promotion, finished graduate school, or got a better job.  It reminds them that their guy would dump their worthless nagging asses in a heartbeat!


    The actions of Tiger’s wife show guys what women are really after…………money.  Plain and simple, when the initial lust of the relationship wears off, its all about money.  All the talk about independent women is just a bunch of bullshit.  They’re only independent if they’re getting money from a man.

    Tiger’s real mistake was getting married and having kids.  All that did was secure the transfer of assets from him to his aging trophy wife.

    There is absolutely no benefit to a man to get married.

    You are now free to bang the sky cunts about the cabin.


    Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

    Indifference………Bitches hate it!

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 10, 2009


    This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!

    A few posts back I talked about how I was called a woman hater because I did not want to risk getting fucked again by remarrying.  A reader, Curiepoint, left these very truthful comments:

    “The shaming language is a call to get you to embrace “normalcy”. That is to say, that the normal and
    predictable thing for a man to do is to assume the yoke of an oppressive marriage, ungrateful children, and
    mounting debt. To refuse all this is to buck the system, and we can’t have any of that.
    I have ask rhetorically though, what is the difference between love and hate? Both have caused pain,
    death, and misery in roughly equal proportions. Both carry a heavier price than is ever worth paying, and
    neither deliver on any of the promises that they make. Why bother with either one?
    The thing for these accusatory voices to realize, is that we do not hate women. That would assume that
    they can trigger an emotional response in us. The real issue is our indifference to them, which is
    diametrically opposed to both love and hate.

    The shaming language is a call to get you to embrace “normalcy”.  That is to say, that the normal and predictable thing for a man to do is to assume the yoke of an oppressive marriage, ungrateful children, andmounting debt. To refuse all this is to buck the system, and we can’t have any of that.I have ask rhetorically though, what is the difference between love and hate? Both have caused pain,death, and misery in roughly equal proportions.  Both carry a heavier price than is ever worth paying, andneither deliver on any of the promises that they make. Why bother with either one?  The thing for these accusatory voices to realize, is that we do not hate women. That would assume thatthey can trigger an emotional response in us. The real issue is our indifference to them, which isdiametrically opposed to both love and hate.”

    It was his last sentence that stuck with me.  I have referred to a certain rebound piece of ass before in this blog and after the sex ended with this bitch, her complaint, the thing that drove her completely fucking wild was my indifference toward her.  She tried all her usual drama queen tactics on me, but to no effect.  This drove her insane, she even told me so!  She said that at least if I hate her that she can understand that.

    Typical American bitch, everything revolves around her, the fact that I wasn’t feeding this cunt’s drama machine totally pissed her off even more.

    I think it was more than indifference.  This chick was last single in her 20’s, now she’s pushing 40 so her stock has crashed long ago and I think that she just can’t deal with that.  I think that these entitlement whores cannot imagine the day when stomping their little feet no longer works and guys just don’t give a fuck because there’s something younger, hotter and with a better attitude right around the corner.

    Silly cum bucket, tricks are for kids.  I am indifferent because I have choices……and you don’t.  Enjoy the rest of your miserable life you overweight loud-mouthed bitch!

    You are now free to drink malt liquor about the cabin.


    Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

    Times are tough…….Let’s have a BABY!!!

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 26, 2009


    This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!

    Tonight’s article is sponsored by Hurricane Malt Liquor, 8.1% ABV.

    Riddle me this fuckers………

    How many of  you work with women who complain about how hard things are financially then the next thing you know, the other women in the office are throwing this bitch a fucking baby shower!

    The same woman who was complaining about how much daycare costs, how hard it is on a limited income, talking about how expensive kids are, etc…. and suddenly they decide that having another kid is a great idea!

    WomanWithKids

    Of course a few months after shitting out another fetal turd, they go right back to how hard things are financially and how their job doesn’t pay them enough!   Yeah, instead of making the connection between their own actions and their life situation, they blame someone else, in this case their employer!

    Typical American woman bullshit, they like to do what they want and blame someone else for their problems.  They can’t make the connection between the fact that because they have zero education and keep shitting out kids…………they can’t figure out why they don’t have any money and they can’t figure out why successful men don’t want a fucking thing to do with these used up retarded cunts.  They have 2 or 3 crumb crunchers by 3 different felons and they can’t figure out why their life is fucked up.  You stupid fucking 3-day old left in the sun bait buckets!

    Just another reason to avoid these worthless entitlement whores!  They aren’t worth the price of a free rubber from the fucking free clinic!

    You’re now free to drink malt liquor about the cabin fuckers!


    Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

     
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