Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘marriage sucks’

Greatest Accomplishment Is Being a Mom? Lazy Bitch!!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 13, 2015


casey

This is your Captain speaking…..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

So I’m reading this fuck article about how less women are opting in for motherhood.  The article itself was boring as fuck but the comment section was solid gold!  There were women talking about how their children were their greatest accomplishment of their worthless lives.

Wow, talk about some lazy fucks.  Greatest thing they ever did could be duplicated by two homeless retards. Nice. You really worked for that one sister!

You see shit like this in personal ads too.  Hell sometimes the bitches put pictures of their kids in  their profile pictures!!  They’ll say shit like, “my kids are the best thing I ever did”.  When I read that all I see is “loser”.  I see someone who didn’t so jack shit with their lives and now they’re hoping their little womb turds do something with theirs so that she can claim some of the glory.

Of course nobody ever calls women on their bullshit when it comes to this, we’re just supposed to nod our heads and agree on her stunning accomplishments.  Wow, you must have spread your legs really wide for that fat headed kid, good job honey!!

Ladies, an accomplishment is something you do on your own and actually takes work.  Try to remember that the next time you’re patting yourselves on the back just for getting knocked up by whoever.

You’re now free actually accomplish something!

Technorati Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Posted in marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Game Over Cunt

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 22, 2015


beer and bitches

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!!!!

It’s been a fucking while, I’m drinking some Hurricane Malt Liquor so get ready for some fucked up grammar, misspellings, and all kinds of other editing fuck ups!

So a buddy of mine and I are sitting out back on my deck drinking some random IPAs and smoking cigars.  He starts to tell me about this worn out fucking cunt who has the hots for him.

She’s married, weighs in around 250 on a good day, two kids from some guy who couldn’t even keep a job at Home Fuck Depot, and just turned 30.  Her and my buddy went to high school together. She was the ugly chick who had the slamming body but like many women she thought she was hotter than she really was.

So now after 12 years of being with a loser and bulking up, she tells my friend that she’s going to leave the loser and she’s looking forward to “hanging out” with him. 

Luckily she doesn’t work with us, so no HR issues here.  She messaged him on FaceFuckBook.  Basically this chick has the attitude that all her fuck ups should be ignored by my friend.  That he should turn back the hands of time to when they were in school and her vag hadn’t been stretched out by child birth stretch marksand years of abuse.

The problem is this woman’s attitude is actually very common.  Women with multiple kids, often from multiple guys, want the rest of us to give her a do-over.  She wants us to pretend that when we look at her little womb turds that we don’t see the face of a guy who got to fuck her back when she was actually fuckable.  She wants us to pretend that she’s matured and that’s why she’s ready to settle down, not the truth which is she’s being carried off the field like Brett Farve. 

Luckily my friend and I both laugh at her dumb ass, but this chick honestly thinks that when she leaves the loser that she’ll be able to run out and get the man of her dreams. She thinks she’ll be hooking up with that doctor or lawyer she’s always wanted.

Fucking cunts today have this attitude that they can do what they want when they have the power (in their early 20s) and that when their looks fade then suddenly the rules should change and we should overlook all their fuckery.  We should be “real” men and take in them and their bastard fuck children.

Let me be clear ladies……GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

You’re now free to piss in a single mother’s face.

volleyball ass

Posted in women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Revenge of the Manbeast!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 7, 2014


bigfoot

This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers!!!

So while nobody bats a thousand, the site Business Insider usually does a decent job with tech and business news, but the other day I saw this story come across my newsfeed.  It’s a story about how some broad was teased for being ugly back when she was 12 and now 10 years later one of the guys who used to bully her asked her out and she finally was able to get her “revenge”.  What made it even worse was the comment above was the link said that this “took guts”. 

First off, how this ended up on a business website is fucking beyond me and it was written by a guy, go figure.  To quickly address the content of the article, she set up a date with the guy then stood him up by giving the waiter a note to deliver to the guy.  All the note did was let the guy know he dodged the fucking crazy train!  On top of that, the article included the guy’s response, which unlike her letter, was mature and thought out.

I don’t get why this is even a fucking story. Shit like this happens to pretty much every guy who makes something of himself.  Story goes like this…..Young guy can’t get attractive women his own age to even acknowledge he’s alive then fast forward 15 or 20 years and the tables are turned.  Women his age are falling over themselves to get his attention.  Tom Leykis has been talking about this shit for years and we’ve all lived it. Where’s our story?

The good news for us is we don’t need no stinking story, we’re living the good live while bitches our age are living la vida government assistance with their multiple cunt turds from multiple losers.  That’s what I call revenge, laughing all the way to the bank.

You’re now free to live the good life.

cheerleader NOT from america

 

 

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Single Moms? No Deal!!!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 30, 2014


single mom

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Man, are there some delusional fucking bitches out there or fucking what!!!

I tell you what, when I say good-bye to the corporate world I definitely won’t miss all these bat-shit crazy women at the workplace.

There’s one skank in particular and I probably don’t even need to describe her, you could probably fucking guess.  Overweight…..hold up…she’s fucking fat, two kids from a loser on disability and she’s about to turn 30.

But wait folks, she is telling everyone who will listen (and anyone else in earshot) about how 30 is going to be the start of her new life.  Sure she wasted her 20s on some loser and even has the stretched out vag to prove it!  She’s decided at 30 to get her shit together…….well not really, but a girl can dream right?

As you might guess, the chorus of fat and fugly friends are telling her the same horseshit all women tell each other about how it’s not too late for her to find a great guy.  About how any guy would be lucky to have a woman like her.  She’s beautiful and if a guy can’t see that it’s his loss….

Are these bitches serious?  I know I see that shit all over social media too, where a butt-fucking ugly bitch posts a picture and all her fat and fucked in the head friends tell her how beautiful she is.  Personally I don’t think these bitches believe it when they tell that shit to other women, but ironically they actually believe it when it’s told to them.fat-woman-gym

So how about that awesome deal our over the hill and NFL sized gal has to offer some lucky white knight?  Wow, let’s start with the two bastard children who are both below the age of 10.  Hope you don’t plan on doing anything with your life for the next ten years Mr Lucky Guy because the only thing you’ll be doing is paying for kids who fucking hate you.  Think she’ll be getting child support? Doubt it, even if she does it’ll be the bare minimum and you won’t see any of it.  You better call your doctor for an appointment to get snipped because as Tom Leykis has been telling us for years, these skanks will get pregnant again, whether you want another womb turd in the house or not!!!  Let’s not forget the fact that loser she hates so much will be stopping by your house, or even better she’ll have to take the kids to him where she’ll be able to get some dick on the side for old time’s sake.

Let’s not forget that body of hers that is now wrecked because she gave her best years to some loser.  Oh sure she’ll tell you how she hates him, but just remember, he fucked her back when the pussy was actually tight.  She can’t even hold her piss now, good luck getting off.  I’m sure she’ll also tell you how now that she’s older and worn out, she’s now in her sexual prime even though her body and vagina aren’t even good enough to be in a salvage yard!

I could just go on and on forever about this awesome deal, but it’s safe to say that any guy who would get in line for a woman like that deserves what he gets.

Listen guys, it’s not your job to play cleanup when these broads fuck up their lives.  All you’ll end up doing is fucking up your own life.  Don’t even entertain the thought!

You’re now free to visit Thailand.

asian-big-tits-minka

 

Posted in money, Single mothers, women's studies | Tagged: , , , | 6 Comments »

And They Wonder Why……

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 27, 2014


 

bullshit-glass-ceiling

 

This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!!!

It’s back to school time again folks, or as welfare moms call it…..Vacation.

It’s also back to all the little ladies at the office wanting the company they work for to bend and twist around so that their job doesn’t interfere with them having it all and being a mother to their womb turds and future government dependents.

I mean what bullshit it would be if the poor fragile women had to work a regular schedule like men do!!!  That would be awful if women were expected to actually contribute to the bottom line! How sexist!!!

So the little misses come in late and leave early and then come appraisal time they expect the same raise or even more as everyone else who actually fucking showed up for work.

Newsflash girls, you can’t have it all.  Just like men you have to decide if you want to play house or have a career, you can’t do both.   If you choose to shit out kids then don’t bitch when you are passed up at work by people who are better at their job in part because they have actually put some time in on the damn fuck job.

The glass ceiling is a goddamn lie, it’s not some fabled ceiling that holds women back, it’s the fucking holes they dig themselves into.  Getting worthless degrees in college and running up a shitfuckton of debt.  Having kids with convicts and other losers who can’t even support themselves.  Having kids with guys who just want to fuck and have zero interest in parenting.  Trying to trap a guy by “forgetting” your birth control.  All this is shit you guys control.  There isn’t some group of guys wringing their hands worrying about some broad wanting to get into the boardroom. 

Do you wage gap morons even have a fucking clue how hard it is to find people qualified to sit in the boardroom!!!  Of course you don’t, it’s much easier to sit and bitch about other’s success than it is to roll up your sleeves and make your own success happen.  Show me a person who hates rich business people and I’ll show you a lazy fuck.

You think it’s luck that makes you wealthy? No dumbtits, it’s work, it’s doing shit 99% of people won’t fucking damn do.  You bitch about a glass ceiling yet you don’t even work hard enough to merit getting out of the fucking basement!

Women are the reason there aren’t more women at the top.  Women are their own worst enemies.

You’re now free to piss on the ceiling.

 

Technorati Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

Posted in marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Don’t Jump on the Grenade!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 25, 2014


grenade

This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers!

What’s up fuckers!  I just wanted to rant about something I’ve been seeing a lot of lately.  We all know that as men, we can’t turn a fucking corner without being told to do something and if we don’t do it we’re not “real” men. 

One thing in particular really pisses me off because it’s one of the best ways to completely ass fuck your life.  Taking on another man’s child or in a lot of cases children!!!!

Guys stop jumping on the fucking grenade. Stop being the goddamn martyr!!! We need to lose this idea of sacrificing for no reason is somehow noble.  It’s not noble, it’s fucking retarded, in fact it’s full retard!!!!!

Newsflash Poindexter, you weren’t her first choice, or even her 100th choice, you’re just all she’s left with now that her body and vag has been wrecked by having kids.  Kids that even their own father don’t want shit to do with, so why the fuck should you?

Do you realize how many guys “step up” only to get stepped on by the very children they helped raise once they become adults and decide they want to have a relationship with their “real” father?  Thanks for paying the bills sucker!

I worked with a guy who met a chick who looked ok, she was one of these chicks who was cool and looked decent but she was literally one cupcake away from the plus-size area of the store.  Which spoiler alert……she’s way past plus sized now.  He got with this chick when she was still fucking around with her ex and “happened” to get pregnant.  Obviously in hopes of trapping the ex but he said fuck you and left her pregnant bloated ass. 

Well my buddy, Mr Knight in White Pussy Satin, decided to “step up” and be a so called real man.  What has he gotten in return?  Well she has gained ton of weight and looks like warmed over shit, something she didn’t do when she was with the bad boy who left her while she was knocked up.  He gets to pay ALL, yes all, the bills for this bastard womb turd because she won’t go after the ex for child support.  Basically my friend bought a used up Jag off a buy-here pay-here lot and the thing is rapidly falling apart and will NEVER look or run as good as it used to.

Fellas, stop being the nice guy.  Be the dick.  Trust me, it works a hell of a lot better.  Your wallet and your dick will thank you.

You’re now free to jizz on the Super Bowl Halftime Show.

cheerleadersthong

Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments »

Keep Calm

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 30, 2013


don't get married

Posted in avoid marriage, Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Reader Mail

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 9, 2013


Mail

What’s up fuckers!  Every once in a while I sober up just long enough to read a couple emails.  Today I found this one from a vet, which I’d like to thank him and all our our service members for their duty. 

It’s a well written letter, make you think.  Now here it is…

 

Why I don’t support men’s rights groups: On my first deployment I was pulling guard duty with this SGT in his 40s, I was about 19 at the time. All he did was stare at the wall and dip. Sitting there staring at the wall and dipping tobacco. I could never understand at 19 why he was so shut down emotionally. So I asked him why. He replied with an answer I’d never forget: I figured out the meaning of life he said, "I’m normal and everyone else is fucked up in the head". Those were his exact words.

Now I’m 25 going on 26. After being burned by women and no longer being a nice guy to them I learned how to stand up for myself and not let myself be walked all over, or even worse avoid them all together which saves me the effort and possible embarrassment of an argument in public, but at the same time teaches them that anything they say is OK simply because they are a woman. Sometimes as I fall asleep at night I think about who I really am and I notice that I’m less trusting of women and don’t want to ever get married. Why would I when most of my adult friends got screwed over one way or another. Out of ALL the people I know, I know only ONE yes ONE man has full custody of ONE of his 3 children. And that’s only because the mom was in jail for drugs right before the divorce and judge kinda had to rule his way.

So back to contemplating about my Inner self. It’s incredibly difficult to turn on TV and see in EVERY sitcom of how the man is always portrayed as a dumb useless irresponsible person who only thinks about football and beer. And of course the women on TV are always right, smart and entitled to absolutely everything they want. That kinda stuff is boring to watch so I flip the channel every time I see something like that. But who would I talk to about it? My circle of friends is gone because I recently moved to a different city. I can’t just walk into a bar, come up to a stranger and start talking about real shit like this. I have to carry on a rather boring superficial conversation about food or cars.

So I went online and found your site. Witch kinda reinforced the concepts that are already in my head: women use men and men let that happen because most of them are pussies themselves. That is until they get burned enough and become heartless bachelors, or even worse: submit to society, get married and forever get used as a slave by their wife who would divorce and take everything she can get her hands on if the man doesn’t act right. And if a man has a dispute with a woman the man is guilty until proven innocent. Proving yourself innocent is a very expensive process in court these days. This whole system is messed up and for some reason people are scared to talk about it publically. Only words exchanged are online in anonymous forums. I tried talking about this shit in public places with people I know. Most of them are frankly not intelligent enough to understand my points or they just don’t care about it because they are too stupid to realize just how much they would really get fucked in a divorce court or even in a dispute that winds up in front of a judge. And those who understand are too scared to come out of the closet.

There’s a whole list of things that are wrong with society today. And no, the problem isn’t liberals, republicans, gun collectors or anti-abortion groups. The real problem is that we live in a world where the society worships Kim Kardashian and a lot of women want to act like her. The problem is that men empower wrongdoing done by women by not standing up for themselves. And those men that do stand up for themselves don’t get labeled by the media as the "good guy". To be honest, men do a lot of shit wrong too but that kind of behavior doesn’t last because of courts and social exile that any woman can impose on any guy that tells her something she doesn’t want to hear.

So why don’t we males organize ourselves into political power? Well two reasons in my opinion: first of all there’s too much political correctness these days and the first politician to mention "men’s rights" is going to be committing a "public political suicide". Second and most important reason is that men want to fuck most the women while women want only 10% of the top preforming males. So the top 10% of men get 100% of the hot chicks. Notice no women are ever homeless by the way unless they’re old or fat. I’ve seen plenty 20 year old guys in down town Chicago asking for change, not a single 20 year old chick ever asked me for a nickel. So as a man I have a choice to compete with the rest and be a successful bachelor or settle for less and become a slave to my future wife. Either way I won’t be in an organized movement for "men’s rights". I will either get it my way and make money and travel the world enjoying life in every country or I will get enslaved by marriage and the court system. So either way I won’t be an activist.

On my last night out in Austin, I tried coming up to multiple hot random chicks and talking about serious shit like this. I didn’t get any good results at all. So what does that teach me? Play a game or be played but there is no changing it. Worst of all I’m beginning to think that the hotter a woman is the more entitled she feels. A gross stereotype maybe but prove me wrong. So as I go out pondering the streets looking for a one night stand I’m beginning to realize that I also know the meaning of life: I’m normal and everyone else is fucked up in the head.”

 

See, I told you that shit was good.  So many great points in one email!!!

I’m of the mind that if this gentleman enjoys his life the way HE wants to enjoy it, that sends a far greater message than any political action group could ever do.  So my good man, I am raising my glass to you where ever you might be, I hope that you are making your own way and enjoying your life to the fullest.  Cheers.

 

Posted in Captain No Marriage, Marriage, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Why I Support Gay Marriage and Adoption

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 8, 2013


Gay_Marriage_Women

This is your Captain speaking, sorry about that landing in San Fran, but……….Welcome aboard fuckers!!!!!!!

Ok, you probably never expected me to support any kind of marriage but hear me out fuckers.  Some of you probably already know my angle on this so here we go!!!!!!!

Listen, our family court system is FUCKED!!!  We all know that, if you’re a man you might as well lube up your ass and grab your ankles because you will get royally screwed in court by your ex, the lawyers, the whole fucking system!!!

As we’ve talked about here and other people have brought up in other venues, the only time they change a law that’s unfair to men is when it affects the little women too.  Just look at the case in Florida where the governor vetoed a bill that would have eliminated lifetime alimony.  I mean we can’t have that now can we?  What would the poor little gold-digging whores do?rm

So what we need guys is more bitches thrown on our side of the fence.  What we need is a nice pretty young thing to get with some manly looking broad and the two divorce.  It would be even better if they adopted a kid too, that way the manly bitch could get ass raped just like any man.

Things aren’t going to change until women start to feel the pain too, then it will suddenly become a national priority, there will be pages of editorials of how the system is broken and unfair.

I personally don’t give two shits who you’re fucking, this isn’t about gay, straight or sheep lovers.  The marriage failure rate for gay people will be just as shitty as it is for the rest of us.  So hang on to your butt plugs and rubber fists gay people because this is one ride that won’t make you explode with pleasure.  You have just boarded the Shit Town Express!!!!

I’ve tried to warn the LGBT community that marriage was a shitty deal, but you fucks refuse to listen, so now I want you to get exactly what you’re asking for, because that’s the only way men will get what I’m asking for. The system is broken people, take off your Elton John rose colored glasses and try to see what the fuck I’m saying.  Read the comments on this blog and others like it.  You don’t want this.

However, since the gay community seems to think they know more than the rest of us, fuck em.  I look forward to the day when some crying cunt in on the Today show talking about how her ex-wife took her for everything she owned.  Welcome to our world cunt.

You’re now free to do whatever the fuck you want.

Brasil ass rocks

Posted in marriage sucks, Politics, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Full Metal Viking!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 1, 2013


viking

This is your Captain speaking….welcome aboard fuckers!!

Got an email from a reader who calls himself Fully Awake, great fucking name by the way.  I won’t ramble on, I’ll just paste that fucker in here so you guys can read it.  I’ll be drinking a beer in the meantime…enjoy fucking fuck fuckers.

“Look guys – women feel entitled to whatever they want. You, as ‘the man’ are supposed to give them that which they covet (her princess – you slave). When denied, they’ll do whatever is necessary to destroy anyone in their path (i.e., you HE-BITCH). They have no problem using men as ATMs while they wait for something better to come along (i.e., hypergamy). Never be that fool.

Most men are ‘woman-challenged’, so the cycle of man annihilation continues into perpetuity. I used to be woman-challenged myself, so I know what it is to be that naïve. Now, after having matured-by-fire, I understand the nature of the HOs. I’m a happy bachelor, living large and unfettered. Trust me, this is what you want, not a wife and kids.

Take my advice. Women are good for one thing. Never invest heavily in them – lest ye be open to unfathomable lasting pain and deep regret. Live your life calling your own shots. Die like a VIKING, not like some chick’s BITCH!”

Die like a fucking Viking!  That pretty much sums it the fuck up! I already drink like one, so why the fuck not.  Great letter, keep em coming guys.  I’ll talk to you fucks later, stay thirsty my friends!

You’re now free to drink like a Viking!

Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , | 42 Comments »

 
%d bloggers like this: